body functions: farting

When I was young I used to believe that saying "excuse me" after passing gas made the smell go away so I would say it repeatedly after farting with the hope that no one would smell it before the words made it go away.

I was always a quizzical kid. Back in the mid 1970's, I was asking what the word "leisure" was. My sister, who was getting tired of all of my questions, told me that "leisure" meant "fart". Of course my next question was why would anybody want to wear a "fart suit". Even today when certain body functions are churnning, I say that I "leisured".

My old baby-sitter oddly named farts 'churchies'. She mentioned this several times and, not knowing the correct name was fart, believed that only people who didn't attend church had bad gas.

When my daughter was two, she passed gas, and with this surprised look on her face, announced "My bottom burped"!

When I was 3 my friend told me that if you ate a bigmac from Mcdonalds it would make you fart so bad you would start flying and then you would go to space and you would have to stay there forever.I actualy believed it! I was afraid of eating anything from there for a while.

My babysitter told me that if you swallowed your gum, the next time you pooted, a bubble would come out of your butt.

We had a golden retriever who farted constantly in his sleep. I asked my dad why it was doing that and he said: "It's because his skin is too tight, each time he closes his eyes, his butt hole opes and lets out gas!"

when i was a little girl, i beleived that women didnt have bums, because i never heard my mom fart.

I used to believe…

That only men farted. I literally started sobbing the first time I realized I farted.

One of my elementary school mates once told me that if you burped and farted at the same time, you would die.

It was hard to test, and I was afraid to, but once the feat actually occurred and I didn't die, I figured it must've been because it wasn't _exactly_ the same moment.

When I was little every time my day would fart he would say it was a mouse on a motorcycle. I never saw any reason not to belive him. I always pictured something from a Tom and Jerry episode. Eventually I figured it out.

I used to believe, well kinda I might, still do a little, I'm uncertian. I once heard that if you farted in the bathtub, and were quick enough to bite the bubble and suck in it's methane contents before it popped, well then you would hallucinate. might sortof like taking LSD I supose I wasn't never quite quick enough to catch the bubble yet..

I used to believe that if you had to fart and held it in too long that it would cause you to blow up

When I was little and farted in bed my mum told me to "take big sniffs - it will soon go away" yuk.

when i was little my dad told me that if i farted on the fire it would blow up so i always tried it and he would yell "BOOM" and it would scare me half to death

growing up near the mexican border my mom was used to not being understood by spanish-speaking kids so she thought they wouldn't understand any noises she made; burping, farting ect.