body functions: general

When I was about 3 years old I was playing outside in the summer and started sweating. I had no idea what was happening so I ran inside to my mom screaming "I'm watering! I'm watering!" It took me years before I learned that every sweats.

my best friend's older brother told us that snot was actually dead brain cells, and so when you had a cold, and your nose was runny, your brain was dying at a faster rate, and all running out of your nose.

i became terrified of blowing my nose, and was scared if you blew it too much, your brains would all come out.

to this day, i really don't like to blow my nose...

I used to believe that each day, we were only given a certain amount of "muscle" and we had to cash the "muscle" in whenever we wanted to move. This was because I heard my sister say, "It takes 15 muscles to smile and 40 to frown".

I was a smiley kid.

When I was about 5, my brother, who was about 13 at the time, told me that every time I blew my nose that part of my brain was coming out. After that I always looked into the kleenex to see how much of my brain I had lost. I believed him until I was about 8 or 9.

i used to think that i was the only person that swallowed my spit

When I was little, I used to believe that when moms breasted, one boob was for milk, and the other was for food. I used to try to figure out which was left and which was right.

When I was 5 or 6, our 12 year old neighbor made a big show of always spitting on the ground like a pro baseball player. For months I was terrified my saliva was something unnatural and horrible. I was scared I was the only person who was too stupid to spit it out before it killed me.

When I was 21 and expecting my first child, the ob/gyn asked if I wanted to breastfeed my baby. I said that I wouldn't mind the breastfeeding, I just couldn't stand the thought of him poking a hole in my nipples with a needle.

I thought there were m&ms inside my body that worked much like cells, except for me to grow they stood on ladders and painted new skin from the inside. I guess the old skin would come off and I would somehow be bigger.

When I was real little I use to think that if you talked too much your vocal cords would run out of cords and you couldn't talk anymore. So I was a very quiet child for a long time.

When I was a little kid, I shared a room with my older brother. At one point I had a cold and was disturbing his sleep by all my hacking and coughing.

Frustrated, he thus told me this whopper: That I had a little puppy living inside me and that I also had a formidable alligator in there too. Every time that I coughed the alligator would bite at that puppy, so if I wanted the puppy to live, I had to quit coughing.

I didn't REALLY believe him entirely. But I did try to stiffle my coughs and began to imagine places in my body where the puppy could hide.

When I was little my dad told me that when you lied your tongue would turn black. For years when I would like my dad would ask that I stick out my tongue just a little then he knew I was lying.

I used to think that if you just kept your mouth closed when you burped, no one could hear you. It wasn't till I was married that my wife told me she could hear. I hate now to think of all the dates I must have ruined in COLLEGE where I let out a belch, but had a smile on my face cause my mouth was closed!

When I was little every time I got the hiccups my grandma would tell me that I got them because I didnt wipe good enough when I went to the bathroom! Needless to say everytime I got the hiccups I would run to the restroom to clean myself thinking that would make them go away, and when they didnt I would be so emberrassed thinking that everyone would think I was not cleaning right.

When I was a kid (1950s) I used to believe that anything you wanted to do that was any fun would either put your eye out or give you lock-jaw according to my parents

When I was young my mother told me that hiccups made me grow taller so, whenever I ever had the hiccups, I didn't try to stop them because I wanted to be tall. I would even measure myself to see how much taller I'd gotten. (It didn't work, by the way.)