body functions: general

I used to believe that when I changed the quality and characteristics of sounds I heard by clinching my teeth or covering my ears I was changing the sound for everyone. I always worried that if I did it too often or with too many people around someone would figure out it was me and I’d get in trouble.

In order to get me and my older brother to "cover our mouths when we sneezed," our mother told us that "the germs from a sneeze travel all over the world within one second." My brother and I spent the next several days faking sneezes, after which we would hollar out "ONE!" Finally, we were told to knock it off!

i used to think that if you burped in a bottle, then opened it, you would hear the burp! i tried until i was like 7 years old, when my cousin (the one who convinced me that i could do it)told me he made it up! i was very mad!!!

I used to think that "Butterfly Kisses" were when you rubbed noses with another person, until my mom told me it's when people 'Kiss' eachother with their eyelashes.

i used to believe that deodorant would stop making you sweat EVERYWHERE, so one day i walked downstairs and my mom asked me why i had white powder all over my face...

You know how, when rub your eyes really hard, you can sort of see swirls of color? I used to be convinced that when I was rubbing my eyes I was making fireworks go off inside my head. I would rub my eyes just for fun.

I used to believe, that if I yawned at the same time someone else yawned, we were automatically the same age. Don't ask me why or how, I just believed it happened.

When I was in infant school I had a friend named Robert whose mum was a nurse. Robert had a lot of bad habits so she used to tell him lies to make him stop. I distinctly remember him coming to school looking very worried, because he'd heard that if you did false burps then your chest would split open. To back up this lie his mum added that she'd just been treating a 75-year-old man who'd had to have surgery as a result of doing false burps. Everyone in the class believed it for ages.

When I was about eight I stayed up late to watch 'Frankenstein' on the BBC. What freaked me out the most was that every time the monster appeared, there was this quiet but persistent sound of a heart beating. Then I went to bed and of course couldn't sleep. Because I could hear my heart beating when I lay on my ear, I called out to my parents in panic "I can hear my heart beating!"
My dad, full of sympathy, said "I should bloody well hope so."

I was a tomboy, and when I was 4 or 5 I used to think that if I exercised enough and became strong, I would become a boy. Luckily I lost my desire to change sex before I could be disappointed by the lack of results...

When I was young I used to believe that when a person sneezed their soul left thier body and in that instance could become possessed by a demon. This I thought could only be prevented if someone said "bless you" immediately after the sneeze. I would become very worried if I sneezed while alone. I would say, "bless you, me; bless you me" over and over.

I was told that whenever people sneeze they miss a heart beat and if you miss a number of beats you will die. I freaked out and from then on started to hold sneezes by pulling a really ugly face. I still do that sometimes.

I used to think that if i didnt cough or sneeze when i needed to, it would backfire and explode inside my body, which would kill me. i made sure i coughed and sneezed when needed for the longest time, until i was 14 and realized it isnt possible.

My mom told me people say "Bless you" after you sneeze because your heart stops for a second. I thought that if nobody would ever say anything after I sneezed, I would die, so I would say it if nobody else would.

I use to believe, when i was 5, that if you laugh too much you had to drink orange juice or you would die (because my sister told me). Then one night my sister and I were laughing a lot because we kept on saying 'poo'. Then I remember what she told me and i went to drink some orange juice but we didn't have any. I almost cried. So i called my mum to ask where the oranges and the juicer was. She told me, then i made orange juice to drink and drank it. My sister just laughed at me.

Once when I was at a friend's house I started sneezing. I sneezed maybe 4 or 5 times in a row. My friend looked at me with a straight face and said, "you've just sneezed past the legal limit." I didn't believe him at first, but he persisted with saying, "No, for real. If you sneeze 5 or more times in a row that means something is wrong with you and you should see a doctor right away." I totally believed him, seeing as how I always sneezed at least 5 times in a row, and I always thought he was really smart.

I used to think that when my stomach made gurgling noises or rumbled it was two little uniformed pilots in a cockpit in my tummy talking to each other over a radio.