body functions: special powers

I used to think that if you blew a kiss to someone, they could actually feel it even if they weren't in the room with you.

I tested this theory whilst going to sleep on holiday one day and asked my father whether he felt a kiss the night before. When he said 'no', I was very disappointed!

I used to believe that I had superhuman strength, which lead to many unfortunate incidents. These incidents could be broadly categorised as follows: (1) Kids beating me up, (2) Me beating other kids up, (3) Humiliating public demonstrations of my strength (once, during lunch break, I gathered a group of friends around to watch me crush a tennis ball, with one hand, until it exploded. I stole the idea from the intro. to the six million dollar man TV show. Amazingly, I was not able to achieve this feat. The demonstration ended with me getting punched).

I used to believe that, if you concentrated hard enough, it was possible to make your body invisible. I remember wandering around the place, switching my invisibility on and off. If it seemed I was being ignored, then I took this as confirmation that my attempt at achieving invisibility had been successful. However, I never did anything strange while invisible, so I guess I wasn't too convinced of my own power.

I used to have the ability to tell what colour things in black and white pictures were -- on our b&w tv, in newspapers, whereever. I knew that the things being photographed had colours, but I couldn't understand how colour could be "lost" when photographed.

I still remember, after 30-odd years, the feeling of seeing that a car on tv was blue, or that a woman was wearing a green dress.

I used to think that if I kept my eyes closed, because I couln't see anyone else then I too must become invisible. I used to walk up to people, close my eyes poke them and then walk away laughing thinking I was invisible!!!!!!

I used to believe (and still do) that if you repeat over and over in your mind "i'm invisible, i'm invisible" you will not be noticed, you wiil be invisible! Try it the next time you go through customs. You'll never be stopped.

I believed that if I wished hard enough eventually my wish would come true and I would be able to fly like Superman. I spent many afternoons testing this theory by jumping off the arm of the sofa shouting "I wish I could fly" really fast before I hit the ground. (I had prudently padded the floor with the sofa cushions first though, just in case I hadn't 'wished hard enough yet.')

when i was a little kid, i believed i could control the Television and what channels it went on, but only at my grandparents house (because it was a bigger and better TV then ours). i would sit up real close and say 'channel 4' or 'channel 23' and it would go to those channels, i would tell it to go quite or loud, and turn it on and off. the sad part is, it was actually just my grandfather standing behind me with the remote control. i was devestated when i found out a year or so later.

I thought that if I chewed paperclips I would develop metal teeth that could bite through concrete. I nearly swallowed one once (i was about 8). Only way I ever got metal teeth was through having a brace.

I used to believe you could "project" images in your mind by concentrating really hard, so IfI wanted to show my parents an idea I had, I just had to concentrate and beam it onto the wall.

When I was a kid, I used to think that my parents knew everything that I was thinking, and used to think of the worst things possible and see if they would react.

When i was a child, would make vocalize at as high a pitch as i could. When i would not make any sound at all, i assumed that i was producing ultrasonic pitches and that only dogs could hear me.

When i was young i use to think that my mum and dad had some sort of special brain power, and even when i was away from them they were able to see everything i did, here everything i'd say, and even hear everything i thought!

I used to believe…

That when I put a bucket over my head and used the handle as a chin strap that I could walk on water

When I was a kid, I thought that if I could swing high enough, I would be able to fly when I jumped off the swing. Not from other places, though, just swings...if I jumped from anywhere else, my (invisible) wings wouldn't work because I was moving too slowly and I'd crash into the ground. But that might have been because I was terrified of standing on high places as a child...

When I was little, I was absolutely convinced that if I could just get my parents to attach the furniture to the ceilings I'd be able to walk on the ceilings normally. I still want an upside-down room, and I'm 32.