body functions: weeing and pooing

When i was little, i thought dogs poop from their tails.

I used to think that if you poop and pee enough on the floor, you could summon a poop monster that you can ride on and use to battle. Me and my brother tried making poop monsters n the bathroom so we can battle with them, like in Pokemon, but it didn't work. We ended up pooping all over the floor and making our mom mad.

I used to think that if you held in your poop too long, it would melt inside you and become diarrhea.

I used to think boys pooped out from their penis and girls pooped out from their vagina.

After I heard about infection coming from poop, I thought touching it would make your body turn into poop. I guess your butt would have to be protected somehow.

When I was little I was at my grandma's house when my aunt changed my girl cousin's diapers in front of me. I noticed she didn't have a penis and asked my aunt how she peed. My aunt said "it comes out when it needs to" so I thought girls had retractable penises.

When I was 5 or 6, I used to believe that if I pooed too hard that my guts would fall out, because I thought my butt connected directly to the inside of the body. I was scared of pooing for a long time until I learned about the digestive system.

I used to believe that I could only poo at night! Maybe it was because both poo and night were "dark".

When I was in school, a girl named Jennifer told me that everybody poops except girls named Jennifer. Later I met somebody named Amy in a discussion group I was in. One day she told the group that her parents almost named her Jennifer before deciding on Amy. I said, "Oh my gosh, Amy must get constipated just thinking about that!". Everyone in the group either gave me the strangest look or said "Whaaaat???" as if I'd said something that made no sense at all. I'm still wondering if Jennifer lied to me.

when i was a kid, my grandma convinced me that she never needed to fart or take a crap, and that she peed very rarely, only once or twice a year. both me and my brother believed she must have been chubby due to all that crap she never took.

I used to think that women became pregnant through contact with pee. I was afraid my friend would pee in the pool and the women swimming there would become pregnant.

Until I was a teenager, I believed the To Let signs on buildings and homes were signs for Toilets with the i missing. I couldn't understand when I was bursting for a pee, my mum wouldnt take me into one of them!

I believed that when I went #2 in the toilet a giant spider would come up from the hole in the bottom and bite my bum. Needless to say, I wasn't potty trained until I was 4.

I thought that there were little ant people in my stomach who lived a in a little hut and lived in family units. They dressed like peasants. Their job was to take the food I ate for themselves and make poop to push outside my body. When my cousin told me that if I ate seeds the fruit would grow inside of me, I purposely started eating watermelon seeds to reward the ant people for their hard work.

I used to think that our toilets flushed directly into the local lakes, and so when animals drank from the lakes, they were drinking my pee

I used to believe women would stop being potty-trained after a certain age because I saw all these commercials for 'diapers' (actually sanitary napkins).