i used to believe

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weeing and pooing

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Presumably this happens to everyone, (unless you're in an outhouse, or a l-o-n-g way above the water).
Payment for the relief you get is often taken immediately in the form of a cold splash, usually dead center, of whatever liquid is in the bowl, I always hope it is just clear water, not mixed with anything yellow.
Which brings me to what I used to believe.
I used to believe that, when doing 'the big job', our body was programmed to do it's business first, and only then did our bladder get it's turn. It worked that way most of the time. I marvelled at the 'rightness' of such an arrangement.
I must admit, though, I still wonder...

Pete
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There's an old joke in my family that's been passed down for generations as a means of curbing pyromaniacal behavior. "If you play with fire (or a campfire [ie: throw weeds, leafs, fireworks, etc. in it]), then you'll wet the bed!" I believed this well into the 7th grade. It has recently been taught to the children of family friends, who rarely play with fire.

F.B.
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I used to believe that girls' poop smelled worse than boys' poop.

Anon
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top belief!

Before the age of six, I thought that pooping had absolutely nothing to do with your digestive system or eating and that it was just this pointless thing your body did. Boy was I surprised when I saw that episode of the Magic School Bus!

JS
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top belief!

I didn't think girls did anything other than powder their nose and talk in the bathroom until I was thirteen years old. They were too nice and sweet to do the kinda crap (literally!) that guys do in there!

Jason
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As a child I heard that my Aunt Lydia was inclined to have "accidents". At first I was puzzled as to what that meant. But eventually I learned her "accidents" were "number two" accidents, in other words, pooping in her pants. I'd been so indoctrinated as to some things being "naughty", that I thought that there was something more innocent and pure about Aunt Lydia than about some of us. Doing something "naughty" by accident was surely more innocent than doing it on purpose. Since my own poops, for example, weren't accidents, I thought that made me naughtier than Aunt Lydia. I sometimes envied her, wishing I pooped only by accident, and never on purpose, so I could be more pure and innocent.

Melody
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As a child I guess I had no conception of conservation of matter, and thought it certainly didn't apply to pooping. I thought that pooping was a matter of your body creating something out of nothing, and that it could go on indefinitely. I had nightmares in which I was uncontrolably pooing over a long period of time, unable to stop until I despired of any hope that I wouldn't go on to fill the entire universe with shit. And for a long time I lived in mortal fear that just such a thing was entirely possible in real life.

Heidi
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Even though my parents almost never took any of the family to church, I was still raised in a very sheltered and puritanical environment. My only sister was years older than me and therefore able to hide knowledge from me. Perhaps she told me that that "girls don't poop" as I see numerous others on this site have been told, at an age when I was too young to retain a specific memory of it. But even if the memory wasn't tangible of it's origin, I too certainly got the idea that girls don't poop. Believe it or not, that was a belieef I never questioned until high school, and never got any clarity about for quite some years thereafter. One day in my first year in high school I heard some sarcastic boys that I didn't much trust telling a story that mentioned a girl "shitting". Perplexed, I couldn't help but ask something about that, to the effect that "girls don't do that, do they?" (I don't remember my exact words.) In any events, the responses I got mainly made me regret asking, consisting mostly of derisive laughter and ridiculing. One guy did tell me that girls poop just the same as boys do, but there was no clear indicarion but what he was being as derisive as the rest. I wondered, after all, do boys really know for sure? I was finding that I apparently didn't. I started thinking how nice it would be if I could find out from some girl that I could trust. The only girl I could imagine daring ask was a very nice, but very popular "upperclasssman". I more or less had a hopeless "crush" on this girl. I decided if I could just get her to enlighten me about this matter, I could be more content and make my joy of know her everything that it possibly could be. I didn't dare start out askig her, "Hey Kathy, is it true what I just heard, that girls poop exactly the same as boys do?" So, to break the ice, I started out telling her that I'd always heard that boys and girls "go to the bathroom" differently, and I understood how they pee differently, so she need not try to explain THAT. At that point she gave a resounding response of "Yeah, Wayne, Girls are different! NO SHIT!". That was in a tone as if to end all argument about it, so it seemed, and that stopped me dead in my tracks. Having no previous knowledge of "No shit" as a figurative expression, I could only think she'd confirmed what I'd assumed for years. So I could only go on believing more of the same. Only years later did I begin to piece together with her response what I'd grown to understand of the figurative meaning of "No shit!", understanding at last that Kathy might have had only the best intentions of setting things straight for me and that I might have had a chance back then of continuing the inquiry and learning the truth from her, if only I had understood what she was meaning by "No shit!"

Wayne
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When I was about six or seven I wouldn't ever read any of those celebrity magazines while going to the bathroom. Fearing that they could see me through the paper. Haha, what an odd belief.

Kate
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top belief!

I grew up in Tennessee. The first out-of-state trip I remember being taken on as a child was to Virginia, where I got diarrhea. For what seemed like the longest time thereafter, I thought that meant that people in different states pooped differently, the more solid poop I was used to being the kind peoiple did in Tennessee and the diarrhea-like type being what people in Virginia did. I never questioned that until one scary day when I got diarrhea back home in Tennessee.

Felicia
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i used to think that every time ya went to the toilet you had to grab your butt and make that sound that guns make to reaload and that you had to say ''fire the cannons'' unfortunatly someone was there when i did that oooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppppppssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

hiram
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my mom told me that once when i was 3 i walked in on my dad peeing. well then i ran out of the bathroom screaming, "mommy! mommy! daddys peeing out of his nose!!!" my mom still makes fun of me.

nun ya bizness!!
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top belief!

When I was a little girl, a playmate once told me that it is a sin to poop on Sundays. I believed it for the longest time. There were times when I really tortured myself trying to hold back a "BM" on Sundays, and even a few times I remember shitting my pants trying to do so. Even now as a grownup, there are occasions when an urge to poop comes on late enough Sunday night that I'll try to hold it back until after midnight!

Franchesca
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I used believe that girls poo looked smells different from boys poo until I saw my sister having a poo.

Anon
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top belief!

When I was 19, I was asked to take a little 3-year-old boy to the bathroom. I got very embarassed and said I couldn't, I didin't know how boys go to the bathroom.

Sad to say I was sexually active, I had just never seen a man go to the bathroom and was unclear as to whether he pooped out of his penis. How dumb!

no way
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I once heard my mother say of a certain popular movie star that she "thought her shit didn't stink". I found that baffling, as I must have thought until then that movie stars certainly wouldn't have to poop. But that got me to thinking that maybe movie stars poop just like you and I do after all. Still, I thought, concerning the glamorous movie stat that my mother referred to, that surely, If SHE ever had to poop, it was hard to imagine that hers WOULD stink.

Angela
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When I was young, my mother always asked if we had had a 'BM'. As I got older I couldn't magine what it meant, so I juts figured it meant Body Manure. It wasn't until I had a baby at 23 that I figured it out ( in the hospital) that was bowel movement.

Anon
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I used to believe that, while relieving myself, I could flush before I was done and finish sooner. My puny brain rationalized it this way: ue to some obscure cosmicaw, I must be done before the flushing cycle is finished, so if I flush early, it only stands to reason that my voiding would then speed up to accomodate finishing before the flush.

J N
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I used to beleive that when you went to the bathroom to poo, there was a litle western saloon-style door that was guarded by two small workers and that when you were above the bowl and ready to release, they would simply stand aside, stop holding the swinging doors and that gravity did the rest.

Anon
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I used to believe that whenever I peed clear urine (i.e., when I was well-hydrated) that this was sperm.

Anon
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