weeing and pooingShow most recent or highest rated first.
I used to think that if you held a turd in for more than an hour it would give you bad breath
As a grownup, I've seen Fleet Babylax, which seems vaguely similar to what my mother must have used on me in one of my earliest childhood memories. I know she was squeezing something into my rectum and it felt really freaky. I asked her what it was for and she said in a reluctant and put-out tone, "It's to make you doodoo." I was incredulous because I'd been well indoctrinated at the time into a view that doodoo was nasty and a naughty subject that one didn't mention if possible. I'd never yet imagined that doodooing was'nt something one could be fine without dooing for however long one didn't get the urge to, and be all the more sweet, pure and well-behaved for avoiding for that matter. I'd yet to get any inkling that expelling feces might be a necessary and healthful thing. So in my incredulity I asked my mother again what it was for. She just waxed more cranky and pissed as she repeated,
"IT'S TO MAKE YOU DOODOO!" Gee, for whatever I might have thought of my mother most of the time back then, that day I thought she was really being some kind of cruel monster for trying, just for the fun of it, to make me be naughty and doodoo when I wasn't feeling the least inclination to do so.
As a child (under four years old or so) I was slow to become potty trained. I was faring fine with number one, but as for poo-poo, I was still doing that in my pants at an age my mother thought was much too old to still not be "housebroken" as she often called it. Maybe she didn't really intend to compare me to a dog; she did have a habit of getting terms confused sometimes. Like one time I heard her refer to the transmission on her car as the "intermission". I pointed it out to her. She got real pissed and vehemehtly denied saaying "intermission" for transmission. Anyhow, back to the main story. To scare me into getting "housebroken", she made up story (at least I guess it was original with her) that, once I was five years old or more, any turds I did in my pants would turn into rattlesnakes and bite me. It must have worked, because I don't much remember shitting in my pants after that. But there was this one incident. By the fourth grade, my mom had me walking home from school every day. It was a bit over a mile. Then it happened. One day about halfway home, I had an urgent shit suddenly come on, that there seemed no way I could hold in until I got home. But I tried with all my might, terrified of the rattlesnake it could turn into. But then, some came out in my pants for all I could do. Desperate, I ran behind a bush in a stranger's yard, dropped my pants and dumped that turd like a hot potato, much relieved to see that it hadn't become a rattlesnake yet. But just as I started to pull up my pants up, I clearly felt more coming. What was I to do? I stayed there behind that push and doodooed the rest of my load there. Better than venomous fangs in my bottom! Afterwards I bolted for home in a hurry without wiping. Walking the rest of the way made my butt sore. It stayed that way for what seemed days (probably an exaggeration). But I didn't mind too much! Better a sore anus than a rattlesnake bite!
When I was a kid, I somehow became quite convinced that only children poop, and that I wouldn't do it anymore when I grew up. Now I'm a grownup, still pooping and trying to learn to love it!
When I was 5 or so, one of my friends (who was a guy) told me that anyone and everyone can stand up to pee... But girls just didn't because they were lazy... I got very angry at this "label" girls got... So the next time I peed, I did it standing up...and well.. didn't exactly get the pee into the toilet, instead, I peed all over the floor
When I was small ( about 3 ) I accidentally walked in on my dad in the bathroom. Than, I went to my mom to ask her a question, "Mommy, when guys toot, does it come out of their peanut?" She explained it to me years later, and never lets me forget it xD
When I was a kid, I was taught that pooping was naughty. So whenever I was taken to the doctor and thay'd take my temperature with a thermometer in my rectum, I thought they were trying to plug up the hole to stop me from pooping!
When I was a pre-school girl, the first time I remember hearing the word "constipation" was in hearing my aunt talk of being constipated when she was pregnant with my cousin and how pregnancy can cause that. I asked somebody what "constipated" meant and got it explained to me, only thing was no one told me that pregnancy wasn't the only possible cause of constipation. So Some time later, the first time I ever noticed that I'd missed a few days having a bowel movement, my mother was horror-stricken when I went to her and told her that I thought I must be pregnant.
I had no contact with males until I went to school. I was very confused as to why I stood to urinate and sat to defecate, when women sat for both.
Not until I went to school did I know that I wasn't the only boy in the world to sit on the toilet.
When I was about three, I simply refused to wear my diaper. My mom used to tell me that if I didn't wear a diaper, a huge fly would come and fly up my butt. To this day, I am deftly afraid of flying things, especially flies!
i knew that if you ate beets your urine would turn pink and i thought if it was pink, then you could drink it.
I used to believe that if boys could stand up to pee, then they could stand up to poop. So one day, I saw my dad pee standing up and asked my sister "can daddy poop standing up?" Then she said, "Daddy can't do that he would make a mess." I was so confused
This is going to sound sick, but when I was younger I thought pads were for catching extra pee or something. Sort of like a diaper. I thought some women had problems and had extra droppings of pee that the pad caught.
i use to believe that girls could pee and what they peed from was a perfect circle. It sound stupid right...
My mom called a vagina a bottom and (im a girl) so i always called my wee part a bottom. So just imagine how i was when my friend told me she had to poo with her bottom.
I use to believe that if I had something to drink while going to the bathroom that the drink would go right through me and I would keep on weeing until I finished drinking.
When I was younger I used to believe that you had different size holes depending on what size poo you were doing
When I was in infant school my friend Robert claimed that in Japan, when they'd finished doing a poo, they'd stick their fingers up there to 'get out the rest'. For some odd reason everyone else in the class also bought this outrageous lie.
i used to believe that my "droppings" looked like ninja turtles and other cartoon characters!
when i was in kindergarden, i used to think tht girls pissed out of theirs butts because they hav no penis.. bumer