weeing and pooingShow most recent or highest rated first.
When I was little I walked into the bathroom after my grandpa took a dump without flushing the toilet. In the toilet was something that resembled a white turd (it must have been crumpled toilet paper but hey, I was young). From that time on I thought that old peoples poo was white in much the same way their hair was white.
I was told that God watches us all the time. So everytime I went to the bathroom, I folded my hands and said: “Dear God, I need to pee/poo. Could you please look away?”
And when I was done, I did the same, this time saying: “Dear God, I'm done. You can look again.”
A child's thoughts are filled with innocence, not stupidity, although some people seem to think this.
When i was younger and going for a "number 2" i used to think that i was having a baby and it would be in the toilet and i'd have to get it out.
Then i realised that certain things had to happen before a baby could be born...
I used to beleive that if i didnt poop at least 3 times a day i would die.AHAHHAi am serious!
When I was little my grandma always stressed the importance of a routine to me. So every night for about two years at exactly two a.m. I would leave my bedroom and go into the livingroom, I would turn on the porch light and go outside. I would stand on the porch until the were no cars on the street the I would skip down the sidewalk to the other side of our house. We had this flower garden with several rosebushes in the back of it. I would walk in between two rosebushes and pee. I would almost always scrape myself on the thorns. After I finished peeing I would skip back down the sidewalk and back to bed.
My mom always wondered where I got the scrapes because I never got them during the day and they would always be there in the morning. I told her I didnt know where them came from.
After a couple of years of my routine my mom had fallen asleep on the couch, my dad didnt want to wake her so he turned off all the lights and the tv and let her sleep. While I was busy at my routine I had opened the door to go outside at 2 in the morning I was only 8. I had woken my mother and she screamed, "What are you doing?" I had replied that I was only doing what grandma had told me to do and I would like to finish my routine if that wasn't a problem with her. (I was mouthy)She told me to go to bed. I was so mad at her for not letting me finish my routine I didn't talk to her for a week. To this day she still doesn't know where all the cuts came from and what I was doing at two in the morning. Shortly after she caught me she had an alarm installed that went off when the door was opened, she made sure I never completed my routine again.
One day I saw a man peeing on tv, until then I always thought they sat down like us girls did. After I saw that I thought I did it wrong so I stood over the toilet and peed. I did this until years later and I was at my friends house and we were both in the bathroom and she peed the way I use to. I was so confused about which was the right way that I cried until her older brother explained it to me. Then, I went back to the old way.
When i was 8 years old i used to think babies got pooped out in the toilet ... i didnt want to be a mum when i was 8 so i held in my poop for 2 weeks. Mum made me take laxatives, and when i did poop they were SO HUGE! i flushed the poop down the toilet straight away incase a baby hatched from the poop.
When I was little I was scared of poop so my mom told me they were fish So every time we'd go somewere and I had to poo I'd scream FISHIES are trying to come out!!!!!
One time I went to the doctor to get a shot, and the shot was in my butt. Of course I kicked and screamed for quite awhile, and he put a little round band-aid on it. The worst part, though, was that I couldn't poop until the band-aid came off because I thought that if I did it would come out the other "hole" in my butt. I was pretty excited and relieved when it was finally 'healed.'
I used to believe that Pinochio was really PEEnochio, and whenever you told a lie you would pee your pants-i was so scared to pee my pants in public i never lied!
i used to beleive that whe you used to poo and flush them they would end up going to a town in the sewers. I used to think that they could all sing and dance this beleif came from south park mr hanky the christmas poo
When I was about 5 or 6 I used to believe that if you crapped in your underpants, a small brown woodlouse would appear on the carpet in front of you and get you in trouble.........DON`T ASK
When I was little I thought that food stayed in your digestive system for months, so every time you did number two you were looking at food reamins that had been rotting for a considerable time. I never seemed to notice the connection between the corn for dinner/corn in the stool connection.
i used to spend loads of time in the garden of my grandparents house when i was little (5yrs old). When i had to go to the bathroom i would get very scared of their big old house because it seemed huge, especially if i was the only one in it. my grandparents would tell me that if i had to go pee or poo, that i should just run into the washroom and go quickly and run back out.i was always too scared but i didnt want to tell them. cleverly i found what i thought was an outdoor toilet. it was the window well to the neighbour's basement window. I would poo there all the time, thinking nobody would ever notice...but it was a window after all.
once, when i was about 5, i wasn't feeling well and told my mum. she gave me a big hug and was about to go get the thermometer when i puked all over her shoes. I missed the next few days of school, and when my best friend asked me why i had been out i told her the whole scenario. she said that vomit is really poop and that if you have to poop and somebody hugs you just above the middle, it will come out your butt, but if they hugged you below the middle the contents of your intestines would come up and you would barf.this also led me to belive that if someone poked me right on my belly button that i would vomit and poop at the same time.
When i was about 7,my half-brothers sister(brook)and i wereplaying around on the porch when i saw a dog terd. i told her it was a tootsie roll. she picked it up and started to put it in her mouth and eat it. Her mom caught her just in time, and i didnt get into trouble. i dont think brook ate tootsie rolls 4 a while!
that poop was chocolate and you could eat it
my mom told me if you dont flush the toilet when you tinkle or pooink your bum would hurt bad until you flush it...
I used t believe that my poop was a little family living insie my butt and they would push their children out of my butthole. I called them the Poo Poo People
I used to believe that if you drank a lot of anything, and then you had to go t the bathroom, you could just eat bread or something that was absorbent, and then you wouldn't have to go cuz it would absorb "stuff" and you'd be all good