i used to believe

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weeing and pooing

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I used to believe, when I was very young, that as women had no penises, women had no private parts altogether. How did they use the toilet, you say? Easy: they peed through the anus.

This belief was revoked when I discussed the matter with my brother, who cracked up laughing saying, "Imagine how disgusting it would be trying to pee and crap at the same time!"

Adam
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I used to beleive that there was an alligator opening and closing my butthole so i could poop. The door was an oldfashioned drawbridge door. I always felt bad for the alligator because he had to step over my poop to open the door. Also i thought that wen i pooped my pants (since it was still maybe or three and it happened sometimes) that i kept the alligator waited too long so hejust opened the door because he was getting smooshed by the poop. The alligators name was Al.

Anonymous
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When my little sister was just potty trained, she thought that when she pooed her insides were coming out. For about a month she would cry whenever she had to do it. Finally, my mom told her what it really was.

Faerygirl
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It was actually not until I was pretty well grown up that I first encountered the phrase "to take a dump" meaning to poop. For a while I didn't know what was meant. I thought the phrase would mean like falling out of one's chair, or falling off a bicycle or a sled, etc. I finally was corrected in a moment when I was made to feel stupid when the phrase was used and I responded as if it meant someone had fallen onto the floor. Since then I've tried to make a joke of this whole awkward learning experience. Like once recently at a Christmas exhibition, I sat down at the eating area and found I was sitting in a very rickety chair. On inspection I found the chair seemed to be about to fall apart. So I hung a sign on it reading, "Caution. Chair broken. Sitting not recommended. You might take a dump." I hoped someone might find it riotously funny, but I never observed any consequences.

Pam
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When i was about three, i remember catching a brief glimpse of my brother naked. I could swear that i saw two penis'. So i used to believe that he had one for peeing and one for pooing. I was so stupid -_-;;

Mikkailah
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When I was young, if I ever had a mouthful of food when the need to poo arose, I feared that sitting on the toilet would cause the food to immediately change to poo. Food always felt mushier when sitting on porcelain.

Blackdog
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i used to believe that poop was eggs and i would try to lay them like a chicken in the toilet but i would get scared they would die

Anon
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I used to believe that girls pee was in their poop, because they have no penis.

s
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I was about 7 and one day I had to pee really bad and I was outside in the pool..thurrs no houses behind mi house so i just went around and swatted and took my pee...my dad went inside to get me some tissues...then a few minutes later my dad had to pee so he went around tha corner and took a pee...when he came bak i asked if he wanted me to go get him tissues to wipe...my parents still tease me to this day because I didnt no all about body parts yet...hahaha

hahaha
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When I was a kid, I heard the 1960s song "Vacation" by Connie Francis. It says at one point, "We're gonna mashed potato to a jukebox tune". I thought it didn't exactly sound like she was literally refering to mashed potatoes. I asked my big brother what it meant. He told me that "to mashed potato" was a euphemistic reference to pooping. So for years I actually thought that Connie Francis sang a song about pooping, which she wouldn't do, nor would any other 60s singer. It would probably be at least two decades before such a thing would become a thinkable subject of a popular song. By the way, would a jukebox tune help one poop? I often envisioned myself needing to poop where a jukebox was playing. I've thought of some tunes that might make it easier for me to go poo in such a public place and others that probably wouldn't.

Malinda
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i used to believe that pooey diapers were supposed to go down the toilet. whenever my sister made a poo in her huggies, i would take them and flush them. even tho it's supposed to clog, i never managed to.

jessica
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I used to think that women urinated out of their buttholes

Anon
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i used to think that if i wiped after i pooped, my butt would fall off! i didn't wipe at all between the ages of 4 and 6!

AHHHH!! MY BUTT FELL OFF!!!
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top belief!

Until I tried it in 3rd grade, my parents told me that if I ate paper my poop would come out in packages.

The Mailman
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My little syster (3 years old at the time) used to believe that little boys have a little finger from which the pee comes out...

Alex
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I had a friend a few years back (she has since moved away) who told me she wanted to become a vegetrian. She told me that eating meat is what causes you to poop, so that vegetarians don't poop. She said she was looking forward to someday becoming a vegetarian so she wouldn't poop. I decided I wanted to do the same. I tried to quit eating meat but my mother got concerned and persisted in asking me why I was not eating my meat unless she pushed me to. Finally I told her I was trying to become a vegetarian so I would quit pooping. She laughed real loud like it was hilarious and called me a foolish little girl. She told me that there was nothing to what my friend said. Since then, I guess I'm sort of getting used to pooping as an okay thing to do.

Hilary
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When I was around 8 my older sister told me that if you force crappin too much you would crap out your intestines.. I would always pray to God on the toilet..

Uncool
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My brother used to believe that he had a man in his butt named Harold. When nature called, Harold would spring to action, and re-do his "living room" by pushing out the old furniture. My brother is now in his late 20's and this still makes for interesting conversation....or so the family thinks...

hardcorr
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i used to believe that you pooped and peeed out of the same whole. so i used to think when you had a hard poop to get out, you should start peeing and the pee would escape through the edges of the poo which would create a grease. then it would be easier to poo.

Stacy
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Until I was about 7 or so, I used to believe that there was a cork in your pee hole that held all the pee in until you needed to use the bathroom. I'm a girl and so I could never witness this event, and spent countless hours loking for the tiny cork in the toilet after I went to the bathroom.

Angela
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