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weeing and pooing

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top belief!

When I was about 5, I walked into the barn and caught my grandma squatting to pee. From the angle, it looked like it was coming from her butt. For years after that, I thought that girls peed out their butts. My sister had a doll that was supposed to "wet". This doll had a tiny hole above it's left buttock for that purpose. So, I believed that all girls had a hole above their left buttock for peeing.

confused kid
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When I was younger, I swallowed a button by accident and my mum told me that it would come out when I went to the toilet. Every time I went to the toilet, I looked to see if it was there!

Anon
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One of my friends (Not me, honest!) used to believe that girls pissed out their arseholes, hence the reason why they sat down to pee. He believed this up until Year 8 when the whole class corrected him.

Dunkerbun
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when i was little i belived that a garbage dump is were all the poo and pee went to feed the birds

freak of nuts
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When I was little, I got the concept of potty training FAST.

But nobody told me to go in the crapper.

So, I figured you were supposed to pee in the vents. The vents on the walls were for big boys who knew all the way how to go potty.

It started with my own vents.

Then it cropped up in other people's houses.

'Twas quite a romp, 'til it ended with my parents, an office complex, and an angry old man.

the VENTBOY
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top belief!

When I was a little girl, a friend told me that how "embarrasing" it is to go to the bathroom depends on one's hair color. She said that for blondes, pooping is more embarrasing than peeing, whereas for brunettes, peeing is the more embarrasing of the two. The reason? she told me that going to the bathroom is most embarrasing when you do something that doesn't match your hair! For years, I assiduously believed that as if rules of embarrassment were carved in stone. So as a blond, I was particularly secretive about my pooping. I'd almost faint in shame if my pooping was noisy and I thought anyone might have heard it, of if anyone came in afterwards and I thought they might be able to smell it. It's amazing that I never thought of carring around a brunette wig with me for when I needed to poop. But on growing up, I've really rebelled against this. I decided it was silly to think any rules of embarrassment so inflexible. Now I make it a point to be unabashed about pooping wherever and whenever I need to. Like just the other day, I was at a library where the ladies' room is small and has a vent on the door that wouldn't hold in much sound. A cute guy who had smiled at me was at a table nearby. I braved it all and went on in and did my poop which turned out to be a noisy one. I'm sure the guy heard it, but I prided myself on telling myself it's no big deal!

Priscilla
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top belief!

I would observe my baby sister a whole bunch when I was young. (5). I noticed that every few hours she'd make a very intense face, and turn red. I was horrified, thinking that one day she'd turn into the devil!!

Turned out, she was just having a crap.

mg
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top belief!

When i was little I used to think if I drank water while I was peeing it would go straight through me. I thought if I did thisI wouldn't have to go to the bathroom later on.

AJ
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When I was about 5 years old, I would always wonder how the pooh in the toilet went through the small tubes (the water tubes that stuck out of the wall) and down the drains. So I immedietly assumed that there were little gnomes working at a rapid speed with knifes that sliced the pooh so quickly that it would safely go through the tubes.

Kim Wise
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top belief!

When I was a kid, my big sister once told me that, if ever I touched my own poop, I would die. Boy, was I careful not to do that! But then one day, when I'd done a messier doodoo than I realized, some had gotten out beyond the reach of toilet paper. So in wiping, I felt something squooshy on my bare hand. I looked and, horror of horrors, a little dookey had gotten on my hand. Boy, was I patrified! It must have been ages before I got over a fear of dropping dead from that. To try to survive, or at least eradicate any evidence of the cause of my impending death, I must have washed that spot on my hand a thousand times. Then I'd smell it to try to see if I'd gotten it clean. But I found poopy smell is persistent! No matter how much I washed, that spot on my hand would still seem to smell like poopy. Finally years later, I became sure my sister had duped me. I finally thought to realize, since my poopoo always touches my anus, why doesn't it kill me from that? I realized I must have been really silly to believe my sister's words of doom. Finally one day, I had to prove things once and for all, so I dared to purposely catch a turd in my hand as it came out. I washed my hands really good afterwards, this time not caring how long there might be a tiny residual poop smell. Well, that's been several years ago and I haven't died yet!

Joanna
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When I was a little girl (3 or 4 years old), I had a lot of gas pains. I don't know where I got the idea, but for some reason, when I was sitting on the toilet, I was convinced that I had these little miniature cowboys and indians running around in my stomach doing battle with each other and whenever someone would miss their target, I would feel a sharp pain where their bullet hit.

Mary
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I used to think if you pushed the flusher on the toilet up instead of down, water would shoot out and a mummy would come out and eat you, when you were sleeping.

JoJo
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I used to think that if you pushed the poopy back into my butt, i would explode. the whole world would become covered in a giant godzilla-sized-turd.

godzilla-turd
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When I was little,(3 or 4),I used to strip down my clothing when I had to go number 2,because I believed that a giant poopy would come out and covermy entire body in a thin layer of dookie. I to this day poo naked.

naked poopy man
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top belief!

When I was about 3 or 4 years old I asked my mom what would happen if boys peed the same way as girls. (You know, sitting on the toilet instead of standing.) Well, I misheard her and I thought she said they would melt when she actually said they would make a mess.

Reggie
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top belief!

When I was 4, I used to have these weird little thought that all the terds in my body were a family, and that I was doing them a favor by pooping them out. I always thought that they'd be reunited at some kind of party underneath the toilet after they were flushed.

Anon
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When I was in about 8, we would stand in line in school every morning to go to the bathroom. Most of the time, I had to pee really bad. I would always think that if I tried hard enough, I would puke my pee out, and I wouldn't have to go anymore.

Shirley B.
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my friends husband has a little neice. well someone had told this little girl apparently that when you see poop it is actually chocolate. one day they went up to the bathroom to use it there stood the little girl turd in hand with it in and all over her mouth she was eating the chocolate out of her mini training potty.

maria
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I use to think once you grew up only ugly people went to the bathroom. I figured if you were pretty you didnt have to go cuz pooping was to gross for them. I remember thinking i wanted to be pretty so I wouldnt have to go to the bathroom.

lindsay
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When i was younger up untill i was like 8 or 9 i thought that famous people didnt poop only normal people!!!

kaitlin
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