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weeing and pooing

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top belief!

When I was a kid, my big sister once told me that, if ever I touched my own poop, I would die. Boy, was I careful not to do that! But then one day, when I'd done a messier doodoo than I realized, some had gotten out beyond the reach of toilet paper. So in wiping, I felt something squooshy on my bare hand. I looked and, horror of horrors, a little dookey had gotten on my hand. Boy, was I patrified! It must have been ages before I got over a fear of dropping dead from that. To try to survive, or at least eradicate any evidence of the cause of my impending death, I must have washed that spot on my hand a thousand times. Then I'd smell it to try to see if I'd gotten it clean. But I found poopy smell is persistent! No matter how much I washed, that spot on my hand would still seem to smell like poopy. Finally years later, I became sure my sister had duped me. I finally thought to realize, since my poopoo always touches my anus, why doesn't it kill me from that? I realized I must have been really silly to believe my sister's words of doom. Finally one day, I had to prove things once and for all, so I dared to purposely catch a turd in my hand as it came out. I washed my hands really good afterwards, this time not caring how long there might be a tiny residual poop smell. Well, that's been several years ago and I haven't died yet!

Joanna
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When I was a little girl (3 or 4 years old), I had a lot of gas pains. I don't know where I got the idea, but for some reason, when I was sitting on the toilet, I was convinced that I had these little miniature cowboys and indians running around in my stomach doing battle with each other and whenever someone would miss their target, I would feel a sharp pain where their bullet hit.

Mary
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I used to think if you pushed the flusher on the toilet up instead of down, water would shoot out and a mummy would come out and eat you, when you were sleeping.

JoJo
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I used to think that if you pushed the poopy back into my butt, i would explode. the whole world would become covered in a giant godzilla-sized-turd.

godzilla-turd
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When I was little,(3 or 4),I used to strip down my clothing when I had to go number 2,because I believed that a giant poopy would come out and covermy entire body in a thin layer of dookie. I to this day poo naked.

naked poopy man
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top belief!

When I was about 3 or 4 years old I asked my mom what would happen if boys peed the same way as girls. (You know, sitting on the toilet instead of standing.) Well, I misheard her and I thought she said they would melt when she actually said they would make a mess.

Reggie
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top belief!

When I was 4, I used to have these weird little thought that all the terds in my body were a family, and that I was doing them a favor by pooping them out. I always thought that they'd be reunited at some kind of party underneath the toilet after they were flushed.

Anon
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When I was in about 8, we would stand in line in school every morning to go to the bathroom. Most of the time, I had to pee really bad. I would always think that if I tried hard enough, I would puke my pee out, and I wouldn't have to go anymore.

Shirley B.
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my friends husband has a little neice. well someone had told this little girl apparently that when you see poop it is actually chocolate. one day they went up to the bathroom to use it there stood the little girl turd in hand with it in and all over her mouth she was eating the chocolate out of her mini training potty.

maria
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I use to think once you grew up only ugly people went to the bathroom. I figured if you were pretty you didnt have to go cuz pooping was to gross for them. I remember thinking i wanted to be pretty so I wouldnt have to go to the bathroom.

lindsay
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When i was younger up untill i was like 8 or 9 i thought that famous people didnt poop only normal people!!!

kaitlin
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When I was little I used to wet the bed alot. My mom and grandma always told me that if I drank my milk this wouldnt happen. So I always made sure to drink all the milk I could. Needless to say I woke up very wet, cold, and crying in the middle of the night. They later made up another story about the bedwetting. One that has caused me to suck my thumb all these years.

anonymous
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top belief!

As a little girl, I thought I knew the reason for separate girls' and boys' public bathrooms. I thought that both pee and poo must be fundamentally different in girls and boys. I thought the kind of toilets without tanks like I often encountered in girls' bathrooms were capable only of handling girls' excretions, and that what boys do wouldn't flush down them. Though I'd never seen what was in boys' public restrooms, I assumed there was a counterpart there that similarly couldn't flush what came out of girls. I assumed that only toilets with tanks on top, like the ones at home, were equipped to handle all four kinds of excretions. One day in Sunday school the teacher told us that the girls' room was out of order, and boys and girls would have to take separate turns using the boys' room. As fate would have it, I was pretty sure I'd have to poop before going home. I began to panic, thinking I'd surely make a mess in a boys' potty that wouldn't flush down. Years later I learned that panic and nervousness can cause diarrhea, and that surely must explain what happened next. While nervously sitting on a boys' potty I had my earliest experience I can remember with a really runny waterry stool. But what did I think at the time? I thought what I'd done must be a boy-type poo. Being in Church, I assumed that God had provided for me, making me for once do a boy poop, so it would flush down the boys' potty!

Mercedes
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i used to believe..
my balls were full of pee

wazza
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When I was a young teenager, I used to believe that when guys urinated they had to squeeze their penis to make the pee come out. In movies, it showed the men merely holding their penises, not squeezing the pee out.

I found out I had been mistaken when I was playing Barbie's with my friend, and I had made Barbie "help" Ken go to the bathroom.

Squeezie
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i used to believe that if you crapped on the toilet for long enough a huge turd would come up to my front door open it come upstairs and eat me and poo me out and the poo would turn into me and the process would start over again i beleived that up until 2 years ago im 10 now!

the huge plop
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top belief!

When I was a school girl (first or second grade or so), there was a park near the school with lots of woods. I loved going and pooping in the woods. I was never what anyone would call exactly a naughty girl, but there was intrigue in the sort of taboo-breaking of going into the outdoors, baring my butt and belting out as big a dump as I could. My best friend at the time was named Julia and she often accompanied me into the woods. One day, I told her didn't she want to poop in the woods also. She told me she couldn't poop. I asked her why and she said "Julias don't poop!". I was disappointed, but believed her at the time. To this very day, whenever I meet anyone named Julia, I always have a bit of apprehension that she might be some kind of not quite human sprite, who is exempt from having to poop. And I wonder a bit what all else Julias might be exempt from.

Meredith
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top belief!

When I was a child, my sister once told me that that only reason why I ever had to poop was because I'd been a naughty little girl, and if ever I quit being naughty, I'd quit pooping. To this very day, I never poop without finding myself working at telling myself that I'm not really doing anything naughty.

Robyn
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when i was 9 i thought that the toilet was a mad monster that only wanted to eat my poop and pee.but then when my mom said the toilet eats my pee and poop because he was hungry, i was ok.

Anon
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My little brother,Ethan,believed until he was like seven or eight(he's eight now) that girls pee out of their butts.He thuoght that since they didn't have a penis,there was absolutely no other opening pee could possibly come out of.Ok....

Ellisa
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