weeing and pooingShow most recent or highest rated first.
When I was little (still in diapers) I was convinced that you pee out of your bellybotton. So I would stand next to the toilet, pull up my shirt and say "pssssssss"
When I was a little girl, I got the notion that in order for a boy to urinate, he had to squeeze his penis. It wasn't until I was 20 or so that I found out I was wrong.
sometimes my little brother would get constipated, so my Nan used to tell him to 'concentrate' when he was on the loo, to encourage him to go. I always thought that 'concentrate' was a posh word for having a poo, and still have to stop myself from giggling when a colleague says " Ssh; I'm concentrating."
I used to believe that if you picked a yellow dandelion, you would wet the bed that night
As a child, once I got clear on the fact that I do have an anus (rather that poop just coming out by a sort of osmosis from that general region), I thought that an anus opened up into a cavity large enough to mostly fill one's entire abdomen. Turds would gather in that large cavity, so I thought, and compete to be the first one to get out. I thought at the time that a fart was a case of a turd trying to get out but missing the hole, perhaps being pushed aside by another turd.
When I was about 4 years old, I asked my mom what happens when you don't pee or poop. She answered, "You just get bigger and bigger and bigger." So that afternoon my mom and I went to CVS and saw rather large lady. Then I screamed and pointed, "Look! That lady doesn't poop!"
I used to believe that I had no anus (nor did anyone else, I supposed, but that poop just oozed out of my butt by some sort of osmosis and formed into turds there.
When I was five or so, some younger kids used to wee in a potty and pour it down a drain outside. I feared toilets (I thought they might flood, I think I used to flush and run away) and I wasn't self-conscious, so I'd sometimes wee in the drain. Someone must have had a go at my parents about it ("your son's not toilet-trained", or something) because I remember getting this huge telling off, any my parents weren't that uptight usually. and I just thought, it's a drain, if they can pour wee down it, I can wee in it. (I don't know if "if everyone did that, it would stink" would have made sense to me).
I was very well behaved for a few years, but I remember seeing a poster at a swimming pool asking people to shower, and to "use the loo not the pool", and was shocked to realise that some people would wee in the pool, showers, the bath, a quiet alley or wherever, and others thought some or all of these were disgusting, or that the only thing good enough to use was a toilet and nine litres of pure mains water.
No wonder kids get so confused.
I used to believe my crap went to Georgia when I flushed it.
I used to believe whenever I got an erection it meant I had to pee.
When I was about three, I was distraught to witness my same-age cousin taking a poo in his potty, and thought that he had lost a part of his anatomy. So, meaning to do well, I promptly scooped up the potty contest and ran after him, shouting "look, look take it back - it's yours!" and couldn't understand why he didn't appreciate my advances...
when i was younger i used to think that a baby's head with green smoke around it would come and give me a 10 second countdown to go to bed if i went for a crap at night! i now hate babies
I used to believe that when i pooped it would build up in the sewers and turninto a big poop monster.Everybody had their own slot where their poop went,and turned into a monster.
When I was younger, I thought that women never went for a poo.
I'm black, so as a child I used to assume that white people pooped peach the way I pooped brown.
My sister and I would sometimes sit back to back, butts toward the center of the toilet, believing that if we went together, we could fill the bowl to the top!
When I was in nursery school (pre-k), we would often take class walks around the neighborhood (to the park, "big" schools, etc.) Whenever there was dog poop on the sidewalk, the teachers would yell "single file! single file!" so we would stop holding hands and could clear the dog poop. For at least 2 years after that, I thought "single file" meant dog poop, and I would shout it out, like the teachers, whenever I saw some.
when i was really little and not potty trained my dad told me that the poo fairy would come if i went! so i did! i took the poo and put it in a bag and then i stuck it under my pillow...i forgot it was there and my mom found a nasty surprise when she cleaned my bed the next week!
when i was smaller i used to think that there were little men up your butt that pushed your poop out and
that when you tried to hold it in the little men pushed and pushed and when they got so tired out from pushing that they would stop and you wouldn't have to poo anymore!
When he was younger, my brother used to believe that when you ate something it went down a tube into a machine in your body. The machine would mush it up into a log, add nuts or corn, dye it brown, and spray skunk spray on it. Then it would come out of the other end of the machine. You know the rest.