weeing and pooingShow most recent or highest rated first.
I used to believe that my butt was an alien and that if my turds were too stinky he would come off, do a dance, and then eat my brains....
I realized later it wasn't true whan i ate cabbage everyday for a week and my parents almost pased out when they walked bye the bathroom.
Up until I was about Ten I was convinced that all my Wee came from my testicles and what was there was all you got forever; I was very concerned that their capacity seemed a little small and that I was destined to run out of Wee one day. In an attempt to conserve the ever decreasing supply, I ended up with a water infection from constantly holding my wee in. At the doctors I cried and told my parents and the Doc about my pending wee drought. After much giggling I was told indepthly about the bladder and kidneys etc. I was very "relieved" after hearing this news.....I now try to wee as often as possible!!!
When I was 3-4, I thought that when I had to go to the bathroom, I had to pull down my skirt *and* my undies. It was a while before I figured out that you could just lift your skirt up instead of removing it!
When I was about four years old I had seen a kid pee on the floor and I thought he was peeing out of his navel so I belived that boys can pee out of their navel
When I was about 8, a friend in the playground told me one break-time that if you pushed too hard while having a "poo", that your brains came out of your bottom. I've never forgotten this and am always a little cautious when it gets to that crutial moment!
My mom has always said, "bowel movement" in reference to using the bathroom, (#2). When I was little and asked her why she said that, she explained that a bowel movement was what made our poop come out. So naturally, I thought that meant there was something inside of us called a "bowel", and that when ever IT moved around, it forced our poop out. It wasn't until some time later during a bad stomach ache that I suggested to my mom that, "...maybe my bowel was broken", when she realized I had the wrong idea, and explained things a little better.
Until I was about 8 or 9 I believed that most people understood what was meant by the term "going grunties".
My mum says it originated from when I was tiny and used to make huge, exaggerated grunting sounds whilst trying to dislodge a number 2, but I had completely forgotten about that and thought it was an accepted term for a terd!
Imagine my embaressment when I was laughing at someone else for committing the cardinal sin of pooing in the school toilets and came out with "you can't go grunties at school!" only for the entire pack to turn on me instead! Serves me right for being a meanie in the first place, though.
To this day, I don't know if it is true, but after reading Silence of the lambs I thought your faeces changed colour as it hit the air coming out of you... Although I was 13 at the time it still fascinated me and I used to try and have a look. It was sort of like having a Gloal Hypercolour T shirt in your body. I don't look now.
after i got potty trained, i thought u didnt have to use the toilet anymore, because the potty my parents had for me rested ontop of the toilet. so when they said i was trained enough to no longer use the potty i urinated behind the tv set and did a turd in the bathtub
When we were about 8, me and my best pal Julie wondered what colour pee black people did - was it black or the same as ours? We were too scared to ask our parents and resigned ourselves to never finding out.
Also, my parents referred to shit as 'doodles', so us kids thought it was hilarious when people talked about doodling on paper.
I can remember my younger sister asking my boyfriend if he peed before he sat down for a dump, or did he tuck his willy into the toilet and do it at the same time.
When I was very little my mother insisted that we asked for attention when we needed the toilet. For years I thought that what I was saying "I need a tension" and therefore thought that a poo was actually called "a tension".
This is disgusting, my apologies up front. I was told as a kid that to conserve rations whilst at war, soldiers would only ever wipe their bums with one piece of loo paper.
I was told that they'd tear a small hole in the centre of one piece, put their finger through the hole, wipe up all the mess with the finger and then wipe their finger with the remainder of the paper. I believed this well into my teens and shuddered at the thought of joining the army.
once, when very young, i walked in on my dad peeing. for a few years later, I insisted that he had been peeing out of his thumb!
I had a really scientific explanation for why poop was brown when I was little... First of all, people eat lots of food at picnics, and picnics only take place on sunny days, and the sun makes your skin brown, so the color of poop was caused by the food rolling down the inside of your skin picking up your sun tan.
When i was a little kid i used to think that when you went for a poo it was practise for when you had a baby...
I once saw my sisters drinking and wetting doll nude. It had a small hole in its right cheek to wet it self. So naturally I thought all women had a small hole in their right cheek for peeing.
When I was little, I used to take off all my clothes and threw them as far away from the toilet as I could before i pooed. For some reason I believed that if I left my clothes on while taking a dump, they would become contaminated and stinky. To this day I still don't know what gave me that idea!
When I was little my grandmother used to refer to taking a dump as 'the miseries'. I misheard this and for ages thought 'Miziwiz' was another name for poo.
when i was in the cubs, our akela told us that it took about 3 or 4 days for liquid to pass through the body. i only found out that this wasn't the case when i started drinking in pubs....
When I was VERY little...about three or four...I used to think that since white people made brown poo, black people must make white poo.