weeing and pooingShow most recent or highest rated first.
When I was a little kid (around 5) I was very constipated... so my uncle would give me a quarter every time I pooped. When I got to kindergarten and took a poop, I would demand a quarter from my teacher
If you pee in a pool, the pee disappears
When I had just started going to school I thought that if someone forgot to flush the toilet at school, the teachers would take a sample of the pee and make the older kids process it for DNA in the chemistry labs. Then they would report you to the headmaster, who in turn would report you to the (fictional) Criminal Failures in Hygiene Department. The CFHD would then ship you off to a sterile facility with other such offenders until you had perfect hygiene and manners! I was a paranoid but clean child...
When I was little, I was certain that if you did not pee while you pooped, you would die
I used to believe that my poop was actually forming a poop robot in the sewer and once completed would come for me.
As a child, I believed that, when I grew into a lady, I would quit having to poopoo. Now I'm almost 30 and still poopooing!
When I was young I used to think my testicles held the pee!
When I was younger I was really proud of the fact that I could hold it in longer than my dad... He told me that if I didn't go, the pee or poop would go into my bloodstream and I'd die. My brother and I were horrified we believed it up until a few days ago when we told our mom. She was like "that's a lie it won't back up into your bloodstream why do you listen to your father?" Man I was so embarrassed I'm 14 he had me believing that for eight years...
I told my brother when he was being potty-trained that if he pooped too much the poop monster would come out of the toilet and eat him from his butt up to his head. The poor kid refused to use a toilet until age five.
As a child, I believed that I pooped brown because it was the color of my skin. So, I also thought that white people pooped white because it was the color of their skin.
When I was little, I used to think that when a lady said she had runs in her pantyhose, it meant she had diarrhea and had an accident while wearing pantyhose.
i used to believe that people's buttocks were plump because of the poo filled in it
I used to believe that urine was stored in the testicles and always wondered why they stayed the same size after peeing.
I actually asked my mother if mixing girls' poop and boys' poop would cause an explosion.
My wife was out running errands with our son, who was 10 years old at the time, when she pulled into a video store, intending to return some rented movies. She noticed that he was desperately squirming, sweating, crossing and uncrossing his legs, and was close to tears. It turns out that he REALLY had to pee, but was too shy to say anything. They went into the store, which was quite crowded, and she asked the clerk if he would allow our son to use the bathroom. The clerk refused, explaining that the washroom was for employees only, and not available to the public. She asked the clerk to reconsider, explaining the urgency. Hoping it would cause the clerk to reconsider, she also added that "my son here has a VERY SMALL BLADDER..." At this, my son went crazy - and stomped right out of the store. For some reason, he was so angry with his mother, that he refused to speak with her, or even get back into the car. Eventually, we got to the bottom of his reaction. It turned out that he didn't know what "bladder" meant, but he assumed it meant "penis". So, what he heard her say to the clerk (in front of a lineup of other customers) was: "Please allow him to use your bathroom - you see, he unfortunately has a very small penis..." He's a young adult now, and has only been able to laugh about it for the past couple of years.
my best friend convinced his sister that when you reached puberty, you pooed out your mouth, just once.
she was 11
When I was little, I believed that if I didn't go to the bathroom quick enough, I would actually explode.
My aunt Dorothy was a sweet lady. But one thing most everybody noted about her was that she was "obsessed with her bowel movements". Many times I remember hearing her tell how she went to the potty to try to poo, but "to no avail". That is my first memory of ever hearing the phrase "to no avail". So I got the idea that "avail" was a word for a turd or bowel movement. I began learning otherwise one day at school when I asked the teacher if I could be excused because I had to go and do an avail. Surely, I thought, that was a polite word, since my aunt Dorothy used it. The teacher asked what the heck I was talking about, and when she sorted it all out she actually made me stay after school for being so naughty as to use a word wrongly. That made me think that "avail" must be a "bad" word for a BM or turd. as surprising as it made it that my sweet aunt Dorothy would use such a word. In a later grade in school, I was to get a little ire from the teacher and ridicule from students because I burst out laughing when I first heard the phrase "to no avail" used in some other context unrelated to pooping. Fortunately, I avoided any actual punishment for that.
When I was about 6 or 7, my nana told me that pounding on your knees can relieve constipation. I still doing it until now...
When I was little, I used to believe that if you waited to long to pee, it'd come out of your belly button.