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weeing & pooing

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top belief!

My wife was out running errands with our son, who was 10 years old at the time, when she pulled into a video store, intending to return some rented movies. She noticed that he was desperately squirming, sweating, crossing and uncrossing his legs, and was close to tears. It turns out that he REALLY had to pee, but was too shy to say anything. They went into the store, which was quite crowded, and she asked the clerk if he would allow our son to use the bathroom. The clerk refused, explaining that the washroom was for employees only, and not available to the public. She asked the clerk to reconsider, explaining the urgency. Hoping it would cause the clerk to reconsider, she also added that "my son here has a VERY SMALL BLADDER..." At this, my son went crazy - and stomped right out of the store. For some reason, he was so angry with his mother, that he refused to speak with her, or even get back into the car. Eventually, we got to the bottom of his reaction. It turned out that he didn't know what "bladder" meant, but he assumed it meant "penis". So, what he heard her say to the clerk (in front of a lineup of other customers) was: "Please allow him to use your bathroom - you see, he unfortunately has a very small penis..." He's a young adult now, and has only been able to laugh about it for the past couple of years.

Kirk
score for this belief : 4.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

top belief!

my best friend convinced his sister that when you reached puberty, you pooed out your mouth, just once.

she was 11

Anon
score for this belief : 4vote this belief upvote this belief down

When I was little, I believed that if I didn't go to the bathroom quick enough, I would actually explode.

Coco S.
score for this belief : 3.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

top belief!

My aunt Dorothy was a sweet lady. But one thing most everybody noted about her was that she was "obsessed with her bowel movements". Many times I remember hearing her tell how she went to the potty to try to poo, but "to no avail". That is my first memory of ever hearing the phrase "to no avail". So I got the idea that "avail" was a word for a turd or bowel movement. I began learning otherwise one day at school when I asked the teacher if I could be excused because I had to go and do an avail. Surely, I thought, that was a polite word, since my aunt Dorothy used it. The teacher asked what the heck I was talking about, and when she sorted it all out she actually made me stay after school for being so naughty as to use a word wrongly. That made me think that "avail" must be a "bad" word for a BM or turd. as surprising as it made it that my sweet aunt Dorothy would use such a word. In a later grade in school, I was to get a little ire from the teacher and ridicule from students because I burst out laughing when I first heard the phrase "to no avail" used in some other context unrelated to pooping. Fortunately, I avoided any actual punishment for that.

Regina
score for this belief : 5vote this belief upvote this belief down

When I was about 6 or 7, my nana told me that pounding on your knees can relieve constipation. I still doing it until now...

Anon
score for this belief : 1.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

When I was little, I used to believe that if you waited to long to pee, it'd come out of your belly button.

Anon
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top belief!

When I was a kid, the toilet in my bathroom was blue, so I thought that Pee was green. The first time I used a toilet that was white and saw my pee was yellow, I cried cause I thought I was dying

Anon
score for this belief : 5vote this belief upvote this belief down

I didn't understand why women sat when peeing (my mother) so I assumed that they peed out of their butt

Chris
score for this belief : 2.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

top belief!

My poop was always around the same color as my skin so I assumed white people's poop was white.

jaycee
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When I was very young I knew that only boys had penises. That was the extent of my knowledge though as I thought girls weed out of their bums ;)

Jay
score for this belief : 1vote this belief upvote this belief down

I used to believe that if you wore your socks to bed, they would turn into poop.

Anon
score for this belief : 1.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

I used to believe that it was perfectly OK to pee on the tire of someone's car. My Dad told me this was what you were supposed to do at tail-gate parties. Meanwhile, he and buddies were probably laughing their asses of, drunk on beer.

thad
score for this belief : 3.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

top belief!

i use believe that when someone went to the bathroom on a plane, when they whould flush the toilet that there buisness whould come out of the plane and go on fields.

Ashlie
score for this belief : 4.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

top belief!

When I was about 5, I thought that everyone had different coloured poo and that I had badluck for having brown poo.

Anon
score for this belief : 4.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

i used to believe that our insides are hollow and when we eat that the food would pile up and rot and that was why i thought poop was brown....

rj
score for this belief : 2.5vote this belief upvote this belief down

i used to believe that all people went pee out doors. when my dad took me on long car trips and i had to go pee he would pull over to the side of the road. once when i went on a car trip with my mom i said i had to go pee. she pulled up to a gas station and i hopped out of the car and ran to the bushes. my mom saw me and she started yelling. from that day on i told my dad "take me to a gas station i have to go pee!!"

WeeWee
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top belief!

My best friend has a pool, and when we were little her mom would always tell us that if we peed in the pool a giant purple ring would form around us and everyone would know we peed and would laugh at us. So I didn't pee in the pool. I believed that up until I was ten when I searched it on google.

Anon
score for this belief : 4vote this belief upvote this belief down

I used to believe that a man could pee into a woman's vagina, and then she could pee for both of them.

Anon
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top belief!

My older sister (by nine years, she should've known better!) told me when I was 4 that if you weed and pooped at the same time you would die. I would be on the toilet bawling my eyes out everytime it happened.

Anon
score for this belief : 4vote this belief upvote this belief down

When I was little I used to believe that if I played with fire, then I would wet the bed.

Danielle
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