weeing and pooing
When I was 8, my mother was very pregnant with my sister. Whenever she went to the bathroom, I'd stand guard by the door because I used to believe the baby might fall into the potty and I'd have to rescue it.
I thought that since boys sat down when they went #2 and stood up when they went #1, and since girls sat down for #1, they had to poo standing up because it just all made sense when I was little.
When I was around 6, I noticed my mother's friend had slacks with a side zipper, so I thought that women somehow peed out the side of their leg.
once, when very young, i walked in on my dad peeing. for a few years later, I insisted that he had been peeing out of his thumb!
When I was about 4 years old I used to believe that light colored foods (like popcorn, mashed potatoes) were "processed" into urine (because it was light colored) and dark colored foods were "processed" into poop (because it was darker). I didn't think solids or liquids had anything to do with it, it was all based on color.
When I was 7 I had a bit of a bed wetting problem so the doctor gave my parents a contraption that consisted of a foil sheet that lay under my bed sheet and a box that buzzed if the sheet got wet. Now the buzzing box probably had a battery but I thought it ran on electricity and I knew that electricity and water DID NOT mix. I was petrified that when I wet the bed I'd be electricuted. Whatever problem I had that made me a bed wetter was quickly replaced by the fear of being killed by my Buzzer in the middle of the night.
My grandfather once told me that you could not pee and poop at the same time, and if you did, you would explode. So for the next 10 years I never let any poop out while I was peeing. Until one day i figured what the heck, and did both at once. It emptied me out in half the time. I was so happy :)
As a child I believed that poo's were called "specials" as my mum used to encourage me when potty training to do a "Special One".
Consequently, members of my family have a real problem if someone tells us how "special" they think we are, or on "special occasions". Never ceases to make us all smile (amusement or embarrassment? Who knows???)
When I was little, I took a bath and pooped in there. And I ran around the tub screaming, creating a whirlpool and the poop (to me)looked like it was chasing me.
I thought there was a little workman in my butt working behind a door. When I had to poop I thought the workman was kicking the door because he had a wheel barrow full of poop that he needed to push through the door. The longer I made him wait the harder he kicked and if I waited too long he'd kick the door down and throw the poop out at an inconvenient moment.
I used to take baths with my older brother. He would always splash the water around near his crotch and say he was "making a pie". He had my mom, sister, and me all believing that he had a pleasant imagination. He was actually peeing in the tub.
I always thought that your bum cheeks were full of poo. Therefore if you had a big bum you hadnt been to the loo for a very long time
Around Age 4, I used to believe that everything you drank was stored in your legs. You only peed when it reached penis level and overflowed. Go figure.
When I was a girl the British princesses Anne and Elizabeth were about my own age. I thought they were so lucky because they never had to go to the bathroom the way we mortals did.
I used to believe that I was going to start a religion when I grew up. The main rule of the church was that you had to finish peeing before you could start pooing or you would be sent to the Devil. It appears that I am the only member of my church.
When I was about 5, I asked my Mum where ladies peed from, since they had no winkle. She (obviously not wishing to confuse my poor little brain) told me that they peed out of their bums. It was my third girlfriend that told me otherwise. When I was 20.
my neice believes that if she's trying to poo and can't that it's sleeping! "I'll try later mummy he's gone asleep!" when she does go he's woken up and gone swimming!! she's 2 and a half.
When I was very young (about 3 or 4 years old) I was a big fan of tomatoe sauce / ketchup. Back then, all tomatoe sauces came in glass bottles that you had to bang the bottom of to get the sauce out of.
It seemed logical to me then that these same physics should apply to the human body, so when ever I went to the toilet to do poohs I would sit there banging myself on the head with my hand trying, literally, to knock the s**t out of myself.
When I was 5, my 7 year old brother told me that 'penis'meant pee.The next day at kindergarden I raised my hand and said to the teacher "can I go to the bathroom?My penis is about to burst out of me." Everybody laughed at me. Later I asked my mother what penis mean.t and she told me the correct defination. I laugh about it even now.
When I was 14 I had my appendix removed, I remember the doctor coming up to my bed and asking me if I have any pain when I passed water, immediately my mind flashed up the image of me passing a sink with the taps running, I thought it was a completely stupid question to ask, after all, how can walking past water cause pain? and so responded with a no.