weeing and pooing

I used to believe that it was perfectly OK to pee on the tire of someone's car. My Dad told me this was what you were supposed to do at tail-gate parties. Meanwhile, he and buddies were probably laughing their asses of, drunk on beer.

thad

When I was young I used to think my testicles held the pee!

Anon

My mother convinced me for most of my childhood that if I didn't pee when I had to, I would explode...just like her "friend" Susie! Years later, she admitted she made it all up just so my sisters and I would go to the bathroom before we left the house.

Anon

We were told that if we peed in the pool you would get a red ring around your waste. Many frantic rushes to get out of the pool before it was too late.

Lory

I used to think the ball sack was a bladder, it filled up with urine and overflowed through the penis, like a watering can.

I used to claim 'my bag was full' if I needed to go badly.

Anon

I used to think it was true that only ugly girls poop and I thought I was an ugly girl because I pooped

Anon

my folks told me that if i didnt wipe properly, my butt hole could seal....

i made sure to wipe properly for about 7 years, and made them check to see if it was clean.

Anon

When I was about three, I was distraught to witness my same-age cousin taking a poo in his potty, and thought that he had lost a part of his anatomy. So, meaning to do well, I promptly scooped up the potty contest and ran after him, shouting "look, look take it back - it's yours!" and couldn't understand why he didn't appreciate my advances...

Steph

As a child, once I got clear on the fact that I do have an anus (rather that poop just coming out by a sort of osmosis from that general region), I thought that an anus opened up into a cavity large enough to mostly fill one's entire abdomen. Turds would gather in that large cavity, so I thought, and compete to be the first one to get out. I thought at the time that a fart was a case of a turd trying to get out but missing the hole, perhaps being pushed aside by another turd.

Natasha

When I was very little, my mother would give my brother a bath and then give me a bath. I saw his penis and asked what it was. All i remembered was that it's the part he pees with. A couple years later, with a little sister, I tell my mother "Mommy! Did you know that the part i pee with is just like a little penis?" She agreed with me. Thanks, nurse mom.

britishbroccoli

i used to belive that girls can use urinals and pee like guys. all they had to do was make their little "hole" in the vagina be directly straight up. i tried it once but it made a mess. One day i found a website that teaches girls to pee like guys standing up at a urinal hands free, without pulling their pants down.

Girls Can Pee Standing Up Too!

I once heard my mother say of a certain popular movie star that she "thought her shit didn't stink". I found that baffling, as I must have thought until then that movie stars certainly wouldn't have to poop. But that got me to thinking that maybe movie stars poop just like you and I do after all. Still, I thought, concerning the glamorous movie stat that my mother referred to, that surely, If SHE ever had to poop, it was hard to imagine that hers WOULD stink.

Angela

I had a Deep South grandmother who chewed snuff. She often carried around a little plastic cup lined with Kleenex, where she would spit out the brown juice. I thought she had some sort of old person's intestinal problem which caused her to drip fecal matter out of the wrong end.

EB

when i was little, i had a very active imagination. i used to believe that inside my bum, there was a little village, and everything was made out of poo, even the people and houses which i thought were log cabin style. and when it came time for me to poo, a tornado would come through the village and tear everything apart. the parts that were flown away with the tornado would end up being the ones that ended up in the toilet.

Anon

I used to think that if I didn't take all my clothews of before I used the toilet, then I would get them dirty.
MY GOD I'M WEIRD! O_O

Jack

When I was little I believed that when you pooped alligators would rise up out of the sewer and into your toilet to eat it.

Joe

I was 6 the first time I saw an obese person, a classmate's mom. I thought that because she had a bigger butt that her poop was much bigger in diameter...

Donna

Not me, but one old school friend of mine used to believe that "chamber" meant urine because of the phrase "chamber pot".

Anon

My boyfriends dad told him and his brothers that rocks were made from horse pooh so the bigger the rock... the more the horses poohed. They believed this for years and years(abnormally long time)

Tracey#6

When I was a kid in Malaysia I used to think that Caucasians never had to poo because none of them ever did on TV or in the movies.

Anonymous