weeing and pooingShow most recent or highest rated first.
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My sister believed me that if you held in your poo long enough it would come out your mouth. Woe the day my mother said I was constipated....
I used to think the reason our pee was yellow was because gnomes lived inside us stirring in pinesol inside of a big cauldron.
A friend I met at University (ie he was 18! believed that you stored poo in your buttocks, and that after you went to the bathroom your bum was smaller. Hi Jim!
i got told that when you pooed and weed at the same time in the toilet (madness i tell you!) that it would form a "purplish bogey".
I used to think that poop was stored in your buttocks and that's why they're squishy.
my mum told me that poo was actually hershey's kisses, and that there were little elves in the toilet who made candy from the kisses that came out of your bum. i didn't question this at all, but did ask if my best friend got white chocolate candy... since i was black and she was white this made perfect sense.
My father, who was in the army, once told me that soldiers, while in the field, were encouraged to urinate on their feet in order to cure their athlete's foot (something about the natural ureaic acid). Since my father suffered from persistent athlete's foot nearly all of his adult life, which I thought was absolutely disgusting, I became paranoid about contracting it and insisted on taking showers so that I could use that opportunity to pee on my feet. This started at the age of 5. My mother finally caught on to what I was doing and forced me to take monitored baths, as well as prohibited my father from teaching me any more fun science facts.
My mom has always said, "bowel movement" in reference to using the bathroom, (#2). When I was little and asked her why she said that, she explained that a bowel movement was what made our poop come out. So naturally, I thought that meant there was something inside of us called a "bowel", and that when ever IT moved around, it forced our poop out. It wasn't until some time later during a bad stomach ache that I suggested to my mom that, "...maybe my bowel was broken", when she realized I had the wrong idea, and explained things a little better.
When I was about 4 years old and I needed the toilet to do a no.2 and I kept it too long I got a sore stomache and I used to think I was going to have a baby. I used to walk round my house shouting "I'm pregnant" and my dad used to respond "That only happens to big people"
I was so disappointed when I eventually went to the toilet not to find a baby in the toilet!!!
I used to believe that since white people pooped brown, then black people must poop white. I believed this until I was about 8 years old.
When I was learning how to use the toilet (ie: potty training), I firmly believed that if I was alone while I did a "number 2", the resulting loaf would jump back up and bite my ass.
I believed that people need never go hungry because if you ate poo it would go through your system and turn back into food. Makes perfect sense.
Probably up until the age of about five, I thought that if I did not ask my mum for permission to go to the bathroom, I would literally not be able to go. Whenever I had to pee, I would have to run and find her and ask, "Can I go to the bathroom?" to which she would always give me a rather confused, "Of course." This led to trouble if I was over at a friend's house - no matter how much I had to pee when I was there, I never would. My mum wasn't there to give me permission, so I thought I had to hold it until I got home! Thankfully I never had an accident because of this, but it was a close call a few times.
As a child I guess I had no conception of conservation of matter, and thought it certainly didn't apply to pooping. I thought that pooping was a matter of your body creating something out of nothing, and that it could go on indefinitely. I had nightmares in which I was uncontrolably pooing over a long period of time, unable to stop until I despired of any hope that I wouldn't go on to fill the entire universe with shit. And for a long time I lived in mortal fear that just such a thing was entirely possible in real life.
I used to believe that when I peed the pee was really being thrown bucket by bucket by little elves that lived inside of me.
I used to believe there were tiny people inside of you that would put you pee and poop in buckets attached to a looped conveyor belt and that explained how it all came out :)
I used to believe that when I had a really painful bowel movement it was because I didn't chew my food well enough- particularly chips.
I used to think that fat people were full of poop, and if they would just poop more, they would stop being fat.
I used to think that everyone had tiny magicians inside them that would turn the food into poop as it went down through your body.
As I had never seen my parents go to the toilet for a No 2 I had the firm belief that as you got older you stopped needing to have a dump. I went around two weeks without going when I was about 10 and thought "this is it, I've hit puberty"