weeing and pooing

When I was in the third grade, I was in a new school, as my family had moved to a new city. The first (and it turned out only) time I ever ventured to take a poo at school that year, I went to the girls' room and a frightening thing happened to me for the first time (and so far luckily the worst time so far). Just as my turd was well on its way out, a sudden sharp and painful cramp of some kind overtook my anal region (and a good portion of my butt cheeks, so it seemed). And my butt continued to feel an unprecedented strain for a while after I finished taking that crap. That bathroom had black toilet seats, which I had no memory or ever using before. So I figured that that sorely painful experience was somehow caused by the black toilet seat. To this very day when I find myself in a bathroom with black toilet seats and a "number two" that i can't possibly hold back until I get elsewhere, I won't use the seat - I raise it and sit on the rim. I know it sounds crazy, and everyone I've told about it says surely a thin hard toiet rim would be more likely to cramp my butt than any toilet seat. That sounds reasonable, but nonetheless, I still don't change my practice of raising any black toilet seat and sitting on the rim if it's a "number two" that I hafe to take there. By the way, recently I've started hiking some. Some of my companions in hiking seem amazed that a dainty properly raised lass like myself is among those most at home "going" in the woods when necessary. I haven't told any of them yet that that comes from practice at pooing in the woods when that was sometimes the comparatively inviting alternative to using a black toilet seat!

Regina

When I was young, I used to believe that if your pee or poo was mixed with someone else's... like if they didn't flush or like in an outhouse... the mix of the two created a smelly bathroom AND a noxious gas that could poison you.

TLS

my ex-girlfriend (who apparently had little sexual experience with guys) was hesitant to perform oral sex after learning that guys didn't wipe after peeing like girls did. She was 18 and just found out that we don't wipe!

Anon

I used to believe that boys pooed out their penis. Sometimes, i still do.

Michelle Reid

I have a friend that believed, up until the other week, that guys would poop standing up. She's sixteen!

Camille

My sissy used to think that the president and famous people she liked like Edward Furlong didnt pee or poop.

Nikki

i used to think poo was a worm in me that ate leftovers that my tummy didnt want, that was full and left.

vanessa

When I was young I overheard my mom talking about boul buddies. When I heard this I thought she meant that her boul had a buddy soo I asked her when is your boul's buddy coming over. She gave me the most wierd look ever and luaghed!!!!

Turns out she was talking about a type of cookie that helps you go to the bathroom called boul buddies.

Anon

I used to think that diarrhea was a combination of poo and pee, which is why it was so runny. I had no concept of excremental anatomy and assumed that my anus and urethra were in the same place. When I found out that men peed out of their penises, I assumed that men were unable to have diarrhea because there was no opportunity for pee and poo to mix in that situation.

Shelley

i thought that boys had to squeeze their penis to make the pee come out.

denise

I used to believe that when pee dried up, it disappeared, so I used to pee on things around the house, thinking it would leave no trace.

Zach

I used to believe that if you had a pee AND a poop at exactly the same time, then you would die

ange

When i waz a little girl, i believed little men in cooking outfits and little swirly
black moustashes made my food into pee. They all stood in a long line with
a conveir belt, and the food would come down, and they in turn turned little peices
of food into pee. The last little man on the end waz a bad guy, and turned the
pee into the poop. I believed this until i learned about the digestion system in
the 5th grade.

I'm real smart

I used to think that you weed through your bum and passed solids through your front end. I used to think, that must be really painful for boys! (I thought that their male parts were the stored poo) gross! I WAS only 2.

Natski

My sister and I would sometimes sit back to back, butts toward the center of the toilet, believing that if we went together, we could fill the bowl to the top!

alecx

When I was little,(3 or 4),I used to strip down my clothing when I had to go number 2,because I believed that a giant poopy would come out and covermy entire body in a thin layer of dookie. I to this day poo naked.

naked poopy man

i used to think that if u swallowed gum your poo would become sticky like chewing gum and that fish use to eat it from the drains

sticky gum

I used to think that boys had to sqeeze their wees to pee.

m.l.

My mom always told me that if I played with fire I would pee in the bed... i am not quite sure why she said this, but apparently it has been in my family for generations and that's why I always opted out sitting by fires at night!

Lauren

As a child (under four years old or so) I was slow to become potty trained. I was faring fine with number one, but as for poo-poo, I was still doing that in my pants at an age my mother thought was much too old to still not be "housebroken" as she often called it. Maybe she didn't really intend to compare me to a dog; she did have a habit of getting terms confused sometimes. Like one time I heard her refer to the transmission on her car as the "intermission". I pointed it out to her. She got real pissed and vehemehtly denied saaying "intermission" for transmission. Anyhow, back to the main story. To scare me into getting "housebroken", she made up story (at least I guess it was original with her) that, once I was five years old or more, any turds I did in my pants would turn into rattlesnakes and bite me. It must have worked, because I don't much remember shitting in my pants after that. But there was this one incident. By the fourth grade, my mom had me walking home from school every day. It was a bit over a mile. Then it happened. One day about halfway home, I had an urgent shit suddenly come on, that there seemed no way I could hold in until I got home. But I tried with all my might, terrified of the rattlesnake it could turn into. But then, some came out in my pants for all I could do. Desperate, I ran behind a bush in a stranger's yard, dropped my pants and dumped that turd like a hot potato, much relieved to see that it hadn't become a rattlesnake yet. But just as I started to pull up my pants up, I clearly felt more coming. What was I to do? I stayed there behind that push and doodooed the rest of my load there. Better than venomous fangs in my bottom! Afterwards I bolted for home in a hurry without wiping. Walking the rest of the way made my butt sore. It stayed that way for what seemed days (probably an exaggeration). But I didn't mind too much! Better a sore anus than a rattlesnake bite!

Dorothy