weeing and pooing

when i was little i believed that when i have just had a wee and if i never wiped my privates, it would open up (while i was asleep) and a big green monster would come and eat me up!!!

salt and peppa

I used to think that there were monsters upstairs in my house, and that they would come and get me if any noise I made alerted them to my presence.
So, if after dark I had to go for a poo, I didn't really want to flush the toilet, since that was a rather loud exercise.
After several beratings from my mother on this, I eventually plucked up the courage to flush, but then I had to leg it down the stairs at super speed so that the monsters wouldn't catch me.
I never had time to turn the light off or wash my hands.
Of course, now I have the sense to lock the door and wait a few minutes for the monsters to go back to their cupboards before legging it down the stairs, four at a time.

And I also poo in the dark.

Oh the shame.

Ross

I used to think pee was in your testicles.

R.G.

My dad calls diarreah the "hershey squirts" so growing up I always thought hersheys chocolate gave people the runs. Looking back, I'm lucky I didn't think diarreah WAS hersheys chocolate.

Anon

I used to believe that girls pee was in their poop, because they have no penis.

s

When i was little i was scared to use the toilet because i was afraid that a snake would come up and bite me in the ass.

Captain

When I was a kid, I somehow became quite convinced that only children poop, and that I wouldn't do it anymore when I grew up. Now I'm a grownup, still pooping and trying to learn to love it!

Vanessa

when I was younger, my cousin made me believe that if you sat on the toilet too long, your intestines would fall out.

vairelee

When I was about 4 or 5 I had had gone poop in the toilet and looking in the toilet after I noticed that it looked like teeth in my poop. Well I went running to my mom and she had to explain to me that it was my teeth it was only corn that I had eaten the night before. I really thought my teeth were in the toilet, I guess I hadn't noticed they were still in my mouth.

Sam

until i was about 6, i used to believe that there was an alligator that controlled my pee and poo, so everytime i used the washroom, i made sure to say. Mr Alligator, can you let me pee right now...opening his mouth would allow me to tinkle.

Anon

Adult diapers feel and sound just like baby diapers but dont have the cool prints on them

jakjflkaj

One day we were driving by our city's sewage treatment plant, and my father referred to it as the "perfume factory." For years after that, I really thought perfume was made out of sewage.

KBK

When i was young i used to believe that beautiful girls never pee or defecate because God made them special as His angels. So i thought only ugly girls does that.

GIBSON

I used to believe that black people crapped brown and white people crapped white. Having never seen a white person's poop, I had no idea that this wasn't true. Now I've still never seen a white person's excrement but I also know it's not true.

Unknown

I used to think that poop came from the solid food that you ate, and the pee came from water or any other type of liquid. So if i didnt drink anything all day all I would need to do was go poop. hahahaha

chilly213

I used to believe that i had to check the toilet everytime i went to the washroom just to make sure i wouldnt flush a baby, this went on for about two years until my mother noticed and asked me why i did it so i told her, i then learned about the birds and the bees, i was 4.

[3jessikill[S4C]

When I was about 10, I would wake up some mornings with an intense need to pee accompanied by a rather embarassing erection. I used to think that my penis was full of urine, making it firm and much bigger than normal.

Brad

I used to think that you "weed" and "pooed" out of the vagina... girls only had one hole (not even a urethra) and boys had 2 holes b/c they can't poop from their penis

Kelly

I used to believe that my butt was an alien and that if my turds were too stinky he would come off, do a dance, and then eat my brains....

I realized later it wasn't true whan i ate cabbage everyday for a week and my parents almost pased out when they walked bye the bathroom.

Diablo

When I was little, I got the concept of potty training FAST.

But nobody told me to go in the crapper.

So, I figured you were supposed to pee in the vents. The vents on the walls were for big boys who knew all the way how to go potty.

It started with my own vents.

Then it cropped up in other people's houses.

'Twas quite a romp, 'til it ended with my parents, an office complex, and an angry old man.

the VENTBOY