body functions: weeing and pooing

When I was about 10, I would wake up some mornings with an intense need to pee accompanied by a rather embarassing erection. I used to think that my penis was full of urine, making it firm and much bigger than normal.

I used to think that you "weed" and "pooed" out of the vagina... girls only had one hole (not even a urethra) and boys had 2 holes b/c they can't poop from their penis

I used to believe that my butt was an alien and that if my turds were too stinky he would come off, do a dance, and then eat my brains....

I realized later it wasn't true whan i ate cabbage everyday for a week and my parents almost pased out when they walked bye the bathroom.

When I was little, I got the concept of potty training FAST.

But nobody told me to go in the crapper.

So, I figured you were supposed to pee in the vents. The vents on the walls were for big boys who knew all the way how to go potty.

It started with my own vents.

Then it cropped up in other people's houses.

'Twas quite a romp, 'til it ended with my parents, an office complex, and an angry old man.

When I was little I thought that pee was yellow because people drank lemonaid, and boo was brown because people ate chocolate. Whenever I hadn't had chocolate or lemonaid for a while, I figured I ate and drank enough earlier in life to last me for a while.

When I was quite small, my mother referred to having a BM as "grunting." I even now suppress a giggle when I read a sentence in a novel that goes something like, "He grunted in reply."

When I was young, my mother always asked if we had had a 'BM'. As I got older I couldn't magine what it meant, so I juts figured it meant Body Manure. It wasn't until I had a baby at 23 that I figured it out ( in the hospital) that was bowel movement.

when I was young, I used to think there were these tiny creatures inside your bum, that were like miners, that shoveled poo, down this hole. There would be this siren that would go off on this machene that would open the hole. That's how i thought we pooed. I also used to think, that when you constipate, yourself, the poo would build up, and the little creatures, would have go under a red alert.

When I was young, my mother used to ask us kids if we had done a 'BM'. It was my belief that BM stood for body manure. Horse did horse manure and cows did cow manure, so naturally we did body manure. It wasn't until, I embarassed to say, a hospital stay, that I figured it to be bowel movement.

when i was younger i used to think that famous people never had to use the bathroom. I knew they went pee and all but i never thought they would like take a dump, that was just too gross for famous people

I believed that when I woke up with morning wood, that meant that my wee wee was filled with pee pee...and it was time to go to the bathroom.

i used to believe little dwarves were in my penis and that there was some type of giant water hose (compared to them) and they would pull a switch and you would pee

I used to believe…

up until i was about 15 my 2 sisters and i used to believe that pretzels would soak up the pee so on road trips so we would stop complaining...thanks mom :)

I used to believe playing with fire would make me wet the bed. I actually never thought about it until around 15 when I realized it made no sense.

When I was young I thought girls didn't go poo. I figured it was only something boys did. Maybe I thought that something so disgusting could never come of of things so pretty and cute. How naive

my friends from down the road (who were girls) and myself, thought for soo long that girls had testicles which you pee out of, but they were inside them and cos they didnt have a penis they had to sit on the toilet. but when a girl wanted to be tom boy she could reach inside herself, pull them out and pee standing up. yes, we were very messed up kids. thats what we said one of the girls did cos she dressed like a boy all the time. they never told me if it was true.