body functions: weeing and pooing

There's an old joke in my family that's been passed down for generations as a means of curbing pyromaniacal behavior. "If you play with fire (or a campfire [ie: throw weeds, leafs, fireworks, etc. in it]), then you'll wet the bed!" I believed this well into the 7th grade. It has recently been taught to the children of family friends, who rarely play with fire.

When I was 4 or so, I believed that a monster was waiting at the end of the hall (obviously, to kill me). Well, the bathroom was at the end of the hall as well. So I usually stood there, peering down the hall for a few minutes before deciding to do my business elsewhere (behind the couch, in my pants, etc). That didn't go over to well with my parents.

I used to think that little tiny workers were in my hind-end, and the would chop up the poo and shove it out.

I used to believe that women urinated from their butts, because they sat down to pee.

I used to believe that my poo was chocolate cookies for the toilet to eat, and the my urine was warmed lemonade. YUK!

When I was little I used to believe that if you pee'd in the
road you would get a sty in your eye! To this day when
somone gets a sty I asked them if they pee'd in the road.. I get alot of wierd looks lol

When I was young I was told by my grammey and Mom that the proper term for going "poop" was that I need to go "grunny". The word "poop" was considered as serious as saying any other four letter word. I finally reached the age when I felt it was okay to ask why we use the term "grunny" instead of poop. I was told that my brother, seven years older, was making his first "BM" on the toilet and kept grunting. My grandmother therefor felt it necessary to coin the phrase "going grunny" and passed a family law that any other word used for "going grunny" would be punishable under the same sentencing laws as saying any of the other forbidden four letter words.
It literally took two years to admit to my wife that I didn't go poop as a kid--I "Went Grunny".

Needless to say my kids "go poop", Much to the disdain of my Mother. Ha, Ha. And my poor grammie (god rest her soul) is probably spinning in her grave.

Don't get me started on what we were to call our other anatomy and anatomical functions.

When I was about 4 I saw a man in a wheelchair and thought that everyone should just be lazy and should have a wheelchair with a potty in it. I also thought that everyone should give me a pound coin so I could be rich and I thought it was mean of them not to!

I used to believe that if you stayed on the toilet for too long, a monster's hand would grab your bottom and drag you down to where it lived.

Whenever my family and I went on roadtrips and someone had to go to the bathroom, we would stop at the nearest gas station. My mom would then take me into the handicapped stall, and more often than not, the toilet was clogged or spattered with poo/pee toilet water. For the longest time, I thought that all handicapped people always had dierhea.

I used to believe that Winnie the Pooh was a turd. My Mother used to read the books to me and I was not exposed to the Disney version of the stories when I was young. I guess I must have confused "Pooh" with "poo".

when i would sometimes walk by the toilet when my grandad was coming out, i would catch a whiff of the stink he'd left. therefore i obviously decided in my 5-year old mind that only adult males had to shit.

Me and my friends used to think that if you sat in a place where a man had peed, you would turn into a homosexual.

When I was a kid I thought girls' urine was blue (I am obviously male).

When I was younger I was convinced that girls peed from their backside, purely from the reason that they had to sit down to do it.

I used to think that in side your tummy there were little sectioned off spots where all of the food would go. I thought there was a section for greens, meat, liquids, and it all was pushed to the butt to make you pee or shit.