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weeing & pooing

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i used to think that your butt cheeks is where your poop was stored.

Anon
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When my brother was little, for whatever reason he ha an aversion to pooping. After a few days my mom became concerned and told him "Tyler, I know you need to poop"

To which my brother replied "NO I DONT I HAVE A CROUTON IN MY BOTTOM"

To this day I dont know exactly what he meant by that but he's 25 now and we still don't let him forget that.

Rachel
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When I was 4 or 5 I thought there were little elves inside my body that helped me poop. It was like a little factory and each one would turn a crank or something to move things along. I think I watched too much Fraggle Rock.

Anon
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When I was little my auntie told me that eating beets would turn my poop pink. So I ate the beet, ran in the house five minutes later, and almost immediately told her she was wrong.

Beeter
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I used to believe the notice on toilet seat protectors saying: 'Provided by the Management for Your Protection.' meant that there was a government agency called the management for your protection

Anon
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I used to hold my poop as long as i could so my body could use as much of the nutrients as possible, as long as possible, so i could be bigger.

Anon
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My poop was always around the same color as my skin so I assumed white people's poop was white.

jaycee
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When I was a kid, the toilet in my bathroom was blue, so I thought that Pee was green. The first time I used a toilet that was white and saw my pee was yellow, I cried cause I thought I was dying

Anon
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My aunt Dorothy was a sweet lady. But one thing most everybody noted about her was that she was "obsessed with her bowel movements". Many times I remember hearing her tell how she went to the potty to try to poo, but "to no avail". That is my first memory of ever hearing the phrase "to no avail". So I got the idea that "avail" was a word for a turd or bowel movement. I began learning otherwise one day at school when I asked the teacher if I could be excused because I had to go and do an avail. Surely, I thought, that was a polite word, since my aunt Dorothy used it. The teacher asked what the heck I was talking about, and when she sorted it all out she actually made me stay after school for being so naughty as to use a word wrongly. That made me think that "avail" must be a "bad" word for a BM or turd. as surprising as it made it that my sweet aunt Dorothy would use such a word. In a later grade in school, I was to get a little ire from the teacher and ridicule from students because I burst out laughing when I first heard the phrase "to no avail" used in some other context unrelated to pooping. Fortunately, I avoided any actual punishment for that.

Regina
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When I was little, I used to think that when a lady said she had runs in her pantyhose, it meant she had diarrhea and had an accident while wearing pantyhose.

wyrdfishes
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When I was a little kid (around 5) I was very constipated... so my uncle would give me a quarter every time I pooped. When I got to kindergarten and took a poop, I would demand a quarter from my teacher

joeBags
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Atomatic toilets had people inside of them watching to see when you are done.

Anon
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I used to believe that white people had white poop and that mine was brown because I was brown

Anon
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I used to think that the "government" were a bunch of people that worked underground and our poop went by them on a conveyer belt. Probably because I asked my dad where does my poop go when I flushed it? And he said the government takes care of it.

Jena
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I thought that there were little ant people in my stomach who lived a in a little hut and lived in family units. They dressed like peasants. Their job was to take the food I ate for themselves and make poop to push outside my body. When my cousin told me that if I ate seeds the fruit would grow inside of me, I purposely started eating watermelon seeds to reward the ant people for their hard work.

Anon
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When I was little, I used to take off all my clothes and threw them as far away from the toilet as I could before i pooed. For some reason I believed that if I left my clothes on while taking a dump, they would become contaminated and stinky. To this day I still don't know what gave me that idea!

me!!!
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i used to believe (until i was about 20) that i needed to stand up when i was wiping my ass. i had never seen anyone wipe before, so it just seemed natural to me that one would stand. it wasnt until my boyfriend commented on it that i realized that it was possible (and preferable) to do it seated!

Anon
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When I was a nappie-wearing baby, I had a tendency to sit on my bum after pooing, causing the excrement to get plastered all over my bum. My mother, unfazed by the overwhelming disgustingness of having to change me, just called my poohs "pancakes". This caused me to believe that "pancake" was the correct term for poo. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my best friend's mother was making pancakes in the kitchen. I sort of lost my appetite.

Anon
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When I was little I walked into the bathroom after my grandpa took a dump without flushing the toilet. In the toilet was something that resembled a white turd (it must have been crumpled toilet paper but hey, I was young). From that time on I thought that old peoples poo was white in much the same way their hair was white.

Anon
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When I was a pre-school girl, the first time I remember hearing the word "constipation" was in hearing my aunt talk of being constipated when she was pregnant with my cousin and how pregnancy can cause that. I asked somebody what "constipated" meant and got it explained to me, only thing was no one told me that pregnancy wasn't the only possible cause of constipation. So Some time later, the first time I ever noticed that I'd missed a few days having a bowel movement, my mother was horror-stricken when I went to her and told her that I thought I must be pregnant.

Wendy
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