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weeing & pooing

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When I was a nappie-wearing baby, I had a tendency to sit on my bum after pooing, causing the excrement to get plastered all over my bum. My mother, unfazed by the overwhelming disgustingness of having to change me, just called my poohs "pancakes". This caused me to believe that "pancake" was the correct term for poo. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my best friend's mother was making pancakes in the kitchen. I sort of lost my appetite.

Anon
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When I was little I walked into the bathroom after my grandpa took a dump without flushing the toilet. In the toilet was something that resembled a white turd (it must have been crumpled toilet paper but hey, I was young). From that time on I thought that old peoples poo was white in much the same way their hair was white.

Anon
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When I was a pre-school girl, the first time I remember hearing the word "constipation" was in hearing my aunt talk of being constipated when she was pregnant with my cousin and how pregnancy can cause that. I asked somebody what "constipated" meant and got it explained to me, only thing was no one told me that pregnancy wasn't the only possible cause of constipation. So Some time later, the first time I ever noticed that I'd missed a few days having a bowel movement, my mother was horror-stricken when I went to her and told her that I thought I must be pregnant.

Wendy
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I remember getting up at night, going to my parents room, and explaining to my dad that I'd had a wet dream. Dad told me how I was a growing boy, and I felt quite proud (sex education the day before). ..... It turned out that I'd just wet the bed, again.

Anon
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my dad works at a waste water treatment plant (where all the waste goes), and when my little brother was being potty trained, we would have him call my dad whenever he did #2, and my dad would "look out for it" and verify that his "present" had arrived safely.

N
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I used to think that your ass crack was the same as your anus and that when doing a poo you could never be sure *exactly* where it would come out.

Luckily for me, it always came ot of the bottom. Phew!

Toilet Boy
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When i was about five, i used to think that if i strain too hard to get the poo out, i might poo out my brain.! I always did a few mathematics problems after going to the bathroom to make sure my brain was still there!

Smartpooper
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When I was little I wanted to be a boy very badly, mostly because they never had to wear dresses and got the cool toys. Anyway - I used to believe that if I peed standing up I would grow a penis and then become a boy. Of course, since I was a girl, this involved straddling the toilet. My mom never could figure out how I made such a mess in the bathroom...

Jolie
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As a child I used to believe we had to seperate systems for digesting liquids and solids. I mean; they go in that way and they come out that way...only logical there are to stomachs then...

Marieke
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If you pee your pants too many times, the pee-pee fairy will decide you can't handle the pee-pee you have and switch your gender.

Jeanine
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When I was VERY little...about three or four...I used to think that since white people made brown poo, black people must make white poo.

Anon
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when i was little i used to believe that girls didnt have a penis because they wet the bed when they were younger, and their punishment was to lose their front tail! i believed it so much, that i almost castrated my brother when he wet the bed. luckily my mum came in to check on us and caught me with scissors in one hand and my bros chipolata in the other, still attached thankfully! when asked what i was doing i replied, "just giving you a hand mum"!

tha_man
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Since boys stand up to pee and girls sit down to pee, I always thought that girls pee'd from their butts. It was sixth grade when I got into a dispute with a girl in class and I yelled out, "At least I don't piss through my ass!" ... What a zinger!

Johnny
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I used to think that a boy kept his pee in his balls and penis. If he did not go when his balls were full,it would overflow into his penis and make it get real big. I thought that from seeing my brother wake up in the morning with a swollen penis and after he came back from the toilet it was small again.

Amy
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When I was four my grandmother took care of my brother and I for a few days. She caught me peeing outside and warned me that if I did it again a bird might mistake my penis for a worm, seize it, and carry it away to her nest. To this day I look out when I take a leak outside.

Anon
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I used to believe that pee was stored inside your body in a cup, and if you had to pee really bad you should stand up very straight and walk very slow as to not "spill" any, which is what caused you to pee your pants.

Lisa
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Being a girl, I knew that girls peed and pooped while sitting down. I was also aware that boys peed standing up, but nobody ever told me how they pooped. So of course I assumed that they pooped standing up! But I always wondered what they did when they had to go pee and poo at the same time. The best conclusion I came up with was that they peed into the toilet, and held a bucket behind them to catch their poop!

Anon
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when i was small my dad always used to ask to use the bathroom while i showered. i would peek, but all i could see was the pee going down. i always thought he was peeing out of his belly button!

Anon
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I used to believe that when you went to the bathroom, more specifically when you were pooping, you had to do the belly roll at the same time. I was probably 8 years old when I realized these were actions that could be performed indepently of each other.

Anon
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I used to believe (for a LONG time) that if you ate something when you needed to urinate, it would soak-up the urine and you wouldn't need to go anymore.

Mari-Ann
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