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Once, at the age of about four or five, I tried my mum's face cream on. She burst into the room and said that I would now grow breasts! Being a boy, I didn't want this! Believing her, I asked her to take me to the doctor, but she didn't. I have never touched my mothers face cream since.
I have a red colored birthmark on my arm. When I was little, I asked my dad how I had recieved it. He told me that when I was even younger I had been eating and smeared some jelly on my arm. He had supposedly warned me to go wash it off before it stained, but I had not listened. As a result of not heeding his advice, I had a permanent jelly stain on my arm. I believed him.
i used to believe that bras were bullet-proof vests for women.
My dad told me that the reason feet were stinky was because they grew out of your butt.
When I was little, and my grandmother would come over to the house, she would give me hugs and pat me on the bottom saying, "Bless you're little heart." So when I went to school and it was time to say the Pledge of Allegence, I would put my hand on my bottom.
My aunt told me that if you whirl round and round, you ultimately will be able to see the back of your head. I had thrown up at least 3 times trying to see the back of my head.
When i was about 13, my grandmother was visiting us, and it just happened to coincide with my mother asking me to go hang a load of wash out on the clothesline. I was baffled when I picked up my dad's jockstrap.. I was convinced that it must be one of my grandmother's bras.. and she must have been born single (center) breasted. It was several more years before i figured out what it actually was.
when i lost my first baby tooth, i was so excited. while i was laughing and celebrating my dad exclaimed "now we just have to wait for your baby fingers to fall off and you'll be grown up!" i believed that until i was about 7. then i asked my mom one day "why havent i lost any of my baby fingers like dad said?" then she told me the truth lol.
One day, I somehow got ahold of a price list from a medical lab. One item that I didn't recognize was "pap smear", so I made up my own definition. I decided that the doctor would use his hand to slap a pimple or blister on your body (making the "pap" sound), then smear the drainage on your skin.
I used to tease my little sister by slapping her, then "smearing" my hand along her skin, telling her that I was giving her "pap smears". One day, she got fed up with this, and ran to my mom, yelling, "Mom! Joey's giving me pap smears!". Needless to say, she was horrified.
My parents used to tell my brother and I when we were little that we had 'baby heads' and that one day they would fall off and our 'permanent heads' would grow in their place. Periodically they would shake our heads and say "yep, it's gonna come off any day now".
Explains a lot about me.
My father had false teeth and my oldest sister had a glass eye. When I was little, I used to believe that people could be taken apart to be cleaned.
When I was little I got my forehead and feelings mixed up.
It took me a long time to figure it out too.
I thought your forehead was your feelings.
so when I fell down and hit my head, or knocked myself with something, I would run crying to my mom, hand on my forehead and crying "Mommy! I hurt my feelings!!!"
My mom would tell my dad, "I have a sweet tooth", and he'd go out and buy her a gooey dessert. I asked my mom, "which tooth is your sweet tooth?" I thought that she had one that signaled her or something to tell her she wanted some chocolate.
I was about eight when I first saw the movie "Titanic" and I didn't know what a prostitute was. The scene where Jack shows Rose his drawings, he explains he didn't have an affair with that woman, "just her hands. See, she was a...one-legged prostitute." I asked mom what a prostitute was, and she just said it was a person that sold their bodies. She didn't say this meant sex, she just said selling their bodies. And since the one example of a prostitute I had came from the movie, and she had one leg, naturally I assumed it meant she sold her leg. For the longest time I thought prostitutes cut off body parts and sold them, until a 5th grader clued me in.
when me and my sis were little
my mom called a vagina a "tu-tu"
so we just called it that blah blah blah.
well later, we joined ballet
and the instructor told us
"youre all going to wear tu-tus"
i was completely mortified,
i was like "WHY WOULD WE WANNA
WEAR ONE OF THOSE!?
I ALREADY HAVE ONE!!"
Ha. total embarassment
When I was little I was really shy.
So when someone came over I'd hide my toes,
because I thought they were a private part.
When I was young, I couldn't figure out how my insides fit together. I finally decided that it was like the sky at night, very dark, and that my organs just floated around in there, like stars.
When my Fiancee was little her dad used to tell her she had to wash until she was "squeaky clean". She still uses her finger on her chest to see if it squeaks. She's 29.
When I was little my dad told me I was born with unusually large feet and that since his feet were really small the doctors surgically switched them so that our feet would match the rest of our bodies.
When I was little, I thought some people (I didn't notice it was always women) had naturally bright red fingernails. I felt sorry for them, and was grateful that mine were clear.