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On a bit more of a darker side, when I was little and I first heard my mother say "You're grounded", what I really thought she meant was that she was going to kill me and put me in the ground! --'ground dead'
When I was in first grade I was being told about how Heaven is this awesome paradise made out of gemstones and I thought it'd be nice to go there but I knew you only could if you were dead so I told my parents that I thought it'd be a good idea to intentionally get run over by a car so I could go to Heaven.
I had this classmate who was my friend during class but I was really scared of at recess because he'd claim that he wanted to eat me and he'd hiss at me, drool and say these phrases like "Lunch time", "No survivors" and "Yummy food" in an evil voice.
Once, he did it in class, but not generally and that's why I was usually OK with him in class.
Some other kids were afraid of him for the same reason, but others laughed at me for being afraid.
My parents told me he wasn't serious but I thought I couldn't be too careful.
Another classmate of mine liked to pretend he was dying and at first I believed him but eventually I didn't.
When I was about 3 years old, and my parents took me to the cemetery to visit the family graves, it gave me a queer feeling when I was told that our loved ones were underground. I pictured them being trapped down there, and I had a sense that they were aware of my walking around on the ground above them. I thought that if I stepped on their tombstone they would be mad at me and psychically shout, "Hey, don't step on my stone!" Also, when my mom or dad pulled out the water can for the flowers from its hole in the ground, I dared not to look into the hole, thinking that the dead relative would be looking back up at me. I also thought that if you stuck your hand in the hole they would grab your hand from below.
I used to believe that if you went over a dead end, you would die.
When I was little I used to believe that my grandma's grey hair meant that she was going to die soon, that's why my mom always told her to dye her hair.
When I was a child, I used to believe that when people died, they went to the moon, so I wanted to become an astronaut to see my dead relatives.
When I was 6, my grandma's dog passed. After he died she adopted another dog who was rescued from abusive owners, as her other dog was lonely, and the other dog seemed to know he was passing, so she was upset. But I didn't grasp the concept of death yet, so one day, when I was visiting my grandmother during spring break, I asked her where he went. My grandma replied that "Doug (I think that was his name, I don't remember) has gone swimming with your dad's dog you met when you were little, and we adopted Chile (the rescue dog's name), so Pepper (the name of the other dog) will still have someone to play with her and she won't be lonely." So when summer came and I visited my grandmother again, I wondered why Doug still hadn't came back from "going swimming" after 2-4 months, and I expected him to come back. It wasn't until 2012 when I was 9 and fully understood the concept of death, knowing that he wouldn't come back. A year later Pepper had gotten a stroke and was put down, and then I knew that she would "go swimming with Doug and Sally (my dad's dog's name)."
When I would hear of someone injured "going into shock," I took it to mean that they were incredibly scared or surprised. Hearing about someone "going into shock and dying" would always leave me thinking these people really needed to calm down. Getting hurt may be scary, I thought, but there's no need to get so freaked out that you die!
When I was young and folks or animals passed away at very old age my mother would say they "died of old age". I remember believing this was an actual cause of death, like there wasn't some disease or ailment caused by age that did it, but that an old thing literally just died with no traceable reason aside from the fact that they were old, as if there was no exact explanation and at a certain age all the organs just collectively shut down at once and the person just died. I believed this until I was 17 and can even remember the conversation that led to my realization that I was wrong.
"Great grandma passed on a month ago", I said.
"Oh no! What caused it?" The lady asked.
"Right but how did she die?"
"She died of old age"
My mother then pulled me aside to explain that just being old doesn't kill people, it's other real problems that come with it. I was so frustrated with my own cluelessness