death

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I was always afraid of dying in a car accident. I noticed in movies and such that when people died, their eyes would close. So I thought that meant if I "died" with my eyes already closed, they would just open and I'd live. So whenever our car stopped short or slip on wet roads (etc.) I would clench my eyes shut thinking that would protect me. I didn't realize that was wrong until I saw a bad horror movie in which people died and their eyes actually stayed open.

I used to believe…

when i was a kid i thought that in films when people died they were only going to sleep and used 2 ask my mom why were the people going 2 sleep when they were acting when i grew older i couldn't belive i could think that i couldn't stop thinkin about it for days!

I used to believe…

When I was younger (perhaps 3, maybe?) I used to believe when a human died (I always imagined one of my sunday school teachers)they would go to heaven. God would put them in a suit (like a bunny suit, or a cat suit) and they would be reborn as that animal. I would always look through my cats' fur to see if I could find the zipper on their suit.

I would also ask my cats what it was like to be an adult... I never got a response. But I SWEAR I heard my Siamese say "Hello, James!" the other day.

I used to believe…

[Grand Rapids, Mi, circa 1953]

In first grade, a classmate said that she liked me and was going to visit me on Saturday. I played on front of my house for hours looking out for her arrival, but she never came.

On Monday, I found that she had been killed crossing a busy street that her traveling to my house would have taken her. I was young enough to believe that I had some responsibility and had some ambiguous concern.

Later, the city installed a "WALK/DON'T WALK" signal along with a new traffic control signal at the intersection at which she died.

My macabre experience resonably linked the two events and I realized that all traffic lights were put up only after someone was killed.

I have two male cousins who told me that when they were little they had a gold fish. They really enjoyed drinking coca cola and thought their fish would probably like it too. They poured some in the bowl and the fish swam around in circles at top speed for 45 minutes before it finally died.

I used to believe…

when i was little, i was at my great grandmothers house spending the night. i had asked her the night before if i could have a slice of grapefruit in the fridge for dessert, but she said no, it was for my great grandpa's breakfast.

the next morning he collapsed while eating it, and my mother later told me he died bc the grapefruit had torn through his throat and went floating around his body until it got to his heart and clogged it up.

i didnt realize until a few years ago though that he actually had died from a heart attack that had nothing to do with the grapefruit.

I used to believe…

Up until I was 14 (and I'm only 15 now!!), I used to believe that a widow was someone who had lost their husband and a widower was someone who had killed a husband. This was clarified for me one day when my mom and I met an older couple. "How nice, the widow and the widower" My mom said after they left. I freaked out yelling about why hadn't they put him in jail.

I was a kid and I went for a ride with dad in his red car. he was listening to the news. they said something about some guy commiting suicide. I thought they said that the guy commited sewer side and had no clue what it was. I thought it had something to do with an open manhole!

I used to believe…

When I was about 8, I was afraid of the year 2000 thinking the world would end and I would never be able to graduate or get married, etc., I remember telling my family about this fear but nothing they ever said helped me. I didn't get over it until one of my friends told me that I shouldn't worry b/c God was still making babies and that when he stopped making babies, that's when the world would end. I remember the comfort I felt whenever I saw a pregnant woman.

I used to believe…

When I was in 1st grade I remeber hearing my mother saying my pre-school teacher went to heaven, by that I thought that she took a plane and flew to heaven , couple of weeks later I asked "Is she back from her trip yet?"

I used to believe…

When I was about 7 years old, I remember when Elvis died, then later that week I heard on the car radio that another public figure had died. I then asked my mom, "How come more and more people are dying", She was patient and explained to me that it happens at the end of someones life and that it was normal and I was just becoming more aware of it. Looking at it now, that was pretty funny and I just wonder how my Mom didnt burst out into laughter. the patience of mothers!

I swear I used to think that the mateneince shed in cemetaries were actually the cremetorium. I have no idea where this idea came from, but I was completely convinced.

I used to believe…

when i was about 5 or 6 i got my first pet fish my mom told me that i had to take good care of him she said i had to feed him and make sure he was clean i gave him a bubble bath in our tub i never found him after i emptied the tub.

I used to believe…

When i was about 3 or 4 i knew nothing about death except what i saw on tv. And most deaths on tv meant blood and gore. So my great grandma died and my dad was a pallbearer and when i saw my dad come out carrying the casket i started screaming and crying, because i thought he was gonna get covered in blood. and he had to get someone else to take his place and come sit with me because i didnt want my daddy to get blood on him.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid and the other children on the playground would point their fingers at each other and say "Put your hands up or I'll shoot!", I never understood that this was to stop people from doing anything suspicious with their hands. I thought it was physically impossible for someone to die from a gun if they didn't have their hands up. So when people threatened to shoot only if they DIDN'T put their hands up, I thought this was a cunning trick to make them put their arms up so they COULD shoot them. You'd think eventually people would catch on and just keep their hands down, they can't die then!

I used to believe…

When I was young (okay I still believe it when I'm a little tired) I believed that you could die without realizing it. When a car zoomed by quickly I would wonder if I had been run over and had not yet realized I was dead.

I remember once when I was about 6 I saw a program on TV about reincarnation, and I became really fascinated about it. I decided that I would write a list of all my friends and families' names & addresses then if I died and was reincarnated I could go back to see them and wouldn't be lonely.

It took me a few months to work out that even if I wrote them down, there was no way that once I was dead I could keep the paper with me...this freaked me out a bit coz then I got to wondering where we all go when we die and how we'd remember anything.

I used to believe…

When I was five, our very old landlord, Mr. Small, died. After that I was very scared to go take a bath because for some reason I was convinced that his ghost would come out of the faucet and get me.