death

I used to believe…

When I was Little I was very much afraid to grow up. Even at the age of five years, I realized that when I grow up I'll be alone in this big, horrible world. This has happened. And I'm very much afraid of death. I was afraid that some of my relatives died. But the fear has gone with the time. I began To realize that this is an irreversible process.

I used to believe…

My grandma died when I was three years old, but I have always felt like I have a special connection with her because we share a name although I can't even remember her. When I was younger, I thought if I prayed hard enough God would direct me to my grandma and I could talk to her. At church, my parents would always ask me why I prayed for so long, but all I was trying to do was talk to Grandma.

I used to believe…

When I was little I saw a documentary about fungi and how they reproduce releasing spores, and how they decompose organic matter to get their nutrition.
I spent my whole childhood afraid of accidentaly breathing spores in and having a whole forest of mushrooms and other fungi growing inside my body, consuming it slowly from the inside out until I died.

I used to believe bath products made with Dead Sea Salts contained Sea Salts that had previously been Alive. I didn't make the connection to the Dead Sea and salt harvested from it until I was in my mid-30s. .

I used to believe…

Once we saw this bird that had died and it was just laying there for ages and then one day it had disappeared, and I thought that it had literally ascended to heaven when we weren't there.

I used to believe…

When I was little I was terrified of dying so I decided that when I turned 20 (I thought this was the legal age at which you became an adult since 20 seems like a much more important number than 18) I would go to the North Pole and ask Santa Claus to make me immortal.

I used to believe cemeteries were "summerteries". In Maine, if a person died in the winter, the body was kept in a vault until the earth had thawed enough for burial - summer, or as pronounced in Maine, summah. We only went to the cemetery in the summer.

I used to believe…

When I was young, my Mom planted flowers on her relatives' graves. So one day she said to 4-year-old me, " We're going to plant flowers for great grandma."
I replied, "Yay, we're going to visit grandma!"
"You know grandma's not really in the cemetery," she said, worried about me.
"Of course! Her body is in the cemetery, but her head I'd in heaven!"
She swears I said this in a vice that suggested she was stupid.

I used to believe…

Back in high school i had to do a debate on "euthanasia" however never having heard the word before, thought my teacher said "youth in Asia". I spent 2 weeks working on a believable reason why youth shouldn't be allowed in Asia. The day of the debate i was so ready and well prepared that i told my teacher my group could go first. I realized my mistake only when the Chinese girl i was debating with ran out of the class crying.

I used to think that, when you died, you would go on top of the clouds and have a giant slumber party with all the other dead people (using clouds as pillows, etc.). So, the first time I went in an airplane, I was surprised to not see anyone on the tops of the clouds. Then, I thought, "Oh, they must have heard the plane coming, and decided to play hide-and-seek!"

I used to believe…

For years as a kid I was always confused when people talked about euthanasia. I heard it as 'youth in Asia' and always wondered why everyone talked about the kids over there.

I used to believe…

When I was little my biggest fear was that my beloved stuffed animals wouldn't come to heaven with me when I died. Every year for my birthday until I was about nine, I wished for that.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I used to think that the visible rays of sun you sometimes see coming out of clouds only came out when someone had died. I thought that the ray of light somehow came down and transported the person to heaven. It was actually kind of a nice thought!

I used to believe…

When I was three my dog died. Every time I asked my parents where he was, they would say he was in heaven but I'd keep asking, "But where *is* he?"
Eventually my mum thought I was asking where his body was, and she told me he was under the lemon tree.
I replied, "So that's where heaven is."

I thought everyone lived to be exactly 100 and then died on their 100th birthday (if they didn't die from accident, murder etc before then) Later when I learned about life expectancy I thought everyone in that country lived to be exactly that age and then died.

I used to believe…

Until I was 13, I believed that when someone was killed in a car crash, they were burried where the memorial stood...I told my parents that if I died in a car crash, I didn't want to be burried on the side of the road.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I believed that people would live forever if they exercised. It confused when I heard of someone dying. I would think " why didn't they just exercise"??

I used to believe…

Both my mum and I used to believe that people couldn't live beyond 100: obviously you could die of old age before then, but 100 years was the automatic cut-off point.
I just believed that when you fell asleep after your 100th birthday, you'd automatically die.
Mum used to believe that the entire old lady, rocking-chair included, ascended to heaven in a column of light.