food

I use to really like pickles and my sister tricked me a few times telling me that jalepeno peppers were pickles. I would run around and cry after I ate them and her and her friend would laugh at me!

I used to believe that if you ate the hard part of the popcore popcorn would grw inside you and you would pop until you exploded.

I used to believe…

My sister's friend thought that a "Hard" drink meant it was extra sweet. She drank a bunch of 'Mike's Hard Lemonade' without noticing.

I used to believe…

When I was in kindergarten I believed that rocks developed from gum. I was chewing some one day, and spit it out into the dirt. Me and my friends went back to the same spot and dug it up, only to find a rock.

I used to believe…

when i was little i found out that grown up women could spray milk out of their brests, so whenever my mom asked me if i wanted a glass of milk i thought she would go behind the counter and take her shirt off and spray it from her boob. Iwas over at a friends house and my friends mom asked me if i wanted some milk and i said "sure, do you need some help spraying it out of your boobie, like my mommy does?"...i never went over to little sara's house again.

I used to ALWAYS order plain hamburgers at McDonalds, because I thought that the more stuff you put on, the crappier it tastes. I thought this because i once had a fish sandwich (i hate fish...), and i thought it was a normal one. It had cheese and mayonaise and stuff like that. So when i ate it, i thought it tasted bad because of the cheese and mayonaise. After my mom encouraged me to try kethcup with my hamburger, i tried it and it tasted good. So every time i went to McDonalds, i would add more and more stuff until i became satisfied with ordering Big Macs, which i eat today.

I used to believe that inside popcorn were tiny men who hated the heat. So when you heated them up they would get so mad they would pop. And for that reason I wouldn't eat popcorn because then I would be a cannibal and I couldn't believe that anyone would eat a tiny blown up man.

I used to think ketchup was specially made to cool down your food. One day i somehow figured that it was actually to add flavour- i was around 5- and i proudly told everyone thinking i had made a fantastic discovery and no-one knew that before!

I used to believe…

When i was five, i used to think that if you blew a bubble (from gum) and it got stuck on your face then you would have the gum one your face forever more.

I used to belice that if you planted food, no matter what it was, it would grow that type of food. Imagine my dissapointment when my hot dog tree failed to bare the fruits of my labor! Im still waiting for my Bacon bush to come around

I used to believe…

When I was younger my friends convinced me that Dr. Pepper tasted like actual black pepper. [hanging head in shame] And I remember thinking to myself whenever I saw someone drinking it "How can they drink pepper?!??!" I finally got the guts to try it when I was like...18 or 19. I'm 25 now and it's my 2nd fave soda. (Pepsi rules the world!!!)

I used to believe…

When my little sister was about 5 years old I overheard her saying to my mum 'wheres ma Yorkie'. 'Ma' being Scots slang for 'my' and Yorkie being a big chunky chocolate bar. My Mum replied 'it's off the coast of Spain' since she thought she meant Majorca (the Spanish island). She believed her chocolate was bobbing up and down in the water waiting for a greedy sailor to find it and asked me later if it was at all possible that we could get it back!

I used to believe…

When I was a young one, i absoutley LOVED ice cream sandwiches with next to all I held dear. Everytime the folks brought some home from the store, I'd be the first one to gobble up five in a day and gladly help with the groceries...,my precious sweet sandwiches as my first target.

So naturally, my older brother, who liked the treats from heaven as much as I did, got annoyed and one day told me that if I ate too many, I'd grow fat enough to crush our stove. But that didn't work, hence my high metabolism. Then he let his imagination rip as he claimed the vanilla ice cream was indeed frozen lard and mucus drained from the dead bodies at the mourge and ground chilled ear cartiladge. And he didn't stop there. He said the chocolate graham crackers were in fact mashed boogers, smashed by people's feet like wine grapes in a huge bathtub except these people had foot corns, and gangrene and hadn't washed their feet in weeks and never changed their socks.

Not gullible as most children, I asked why the dessert tasted so good, and he sophisticatedly said they had "flavor-enhancing technology" and that all the mucus slime and boggers had been frozen and "enhanced" to the "seemilngly" delicious bar I so loved to eat.

After telling my father (the fountain of all truth) , who was just as fed up with my ice cream sandwhch gluttony, went along with my brother and with a strait face said it was true.

Needless to say, my brother had all the ice cream sandwhiches he could stomach.

I used to believe…

When I was about 6 my uncle used to tell my 4 year old brother and I that butter was made from snot, I never believed him but my brother being very gullible did. My mom caught him once putting some snot on a piece of toast. :)

I used to believe that Big Macs were a strictly "male" food, and if a woman were to eat one, then the first time, she'd turn into a gigantic, obese, cursing "butch lady" with a cigarette permanently attached to her lips (like the Phone Sex lady on Beavis and Butt-Head, lol), and the second time she ate a Big Mac, she'd turn into a man altogether. Also, I believed that it was against the law for children to eat the "adult" meals at McDonald's, and vice versa--except for teenagers, who were so "old" that they were practically grown-ups anyway, at least in my young mind. ;)

I used to believe…

My bestfriend's grandma tells us that if we eat too much bread, it will soak up our blood. We're 23 & she has alzheimer... Also, every sunday she buys two loafs of bread from the bakery.