food

When I was 6 or so, my friend Caroline and I were in my garage playing "restaurant" at a little table I had in there. My mom kept bringing us food, but she soon stopped because she said we were eating too much and she didn't want us getting sick. I insisted that I was not full yet, but she wouldn't listen. Then I saw a box labeled "Plant Food Spikes" and had an idea. I figured this would be okay to eat, because with my naive logic, since plants ate it, and we eat plants, it'd be fine to eat. Plus, it said "Food" on the box. Food is meant to be eaten, right? Well, I ate one plant food spike (I don't know how I didn't notice the bad taste) and had to be rushed to the emergency room to get my stomach pumped, along with multiple doses of thick, black activated charcoal. Damn plants.

When I was about 8, an older friend and her brother convinced me that mayonnaise was made from the stuff inside pimples. Although I later learned this wasn't true (duh), because of the image I still couldn't eat mayonnaise for about 25 years.

I used to think condiments had feelings and they knew when I took one out of the fridge that I liked that one over the others. I felt so guilty I had to use all of them on my sandwiches. Even though I hated mustard, I'd put a tiny dot on my sandwich so it wouldn't feel bad. That goes for having to use Miracle Whip and relish too!

when i was 3 or so, i truly believed that you bought half corn cobs in cans marked "corn kernals". i think that this belief was fuled by the fact that those little 330g cans were the right size to contain a half corn cob standing on end and i thought that "kernals" meant "half". (that had something to do with it having an 'S' on the end.) i was very disappointed when i found out.

I used to believe that if you swallowed apple pips, then an apple tree would grow in your stomach! For some reason it didn't kill you either!!
My mum also told me that if you swallowed chewing gum it would get wrapped round your tonsils and you would choke to death!!

When I was younger, I told my friend that mud was chocolate milk and tried to get her to drink it. She did, and needless to say, never drank chocolate milk again.

One day, when I was about four, I saw a tree that had just had a large branch break off of it, and the place where the branch had been was white, flakey and wet. So, of course, I assumed that what I saw was chicken (the meat). I thought for half a year that trees were full of chicken, and that you cut them down, peeled the bark off, and ate it.

I once made sandwichs for my dad and his friend. After I gave the sandwiches I went inside for a bit and then came back out, and noticed that while my dad was still eating, his friend wasn't. I asked where his sandwich was, and my dad told me that he just ate it whole, so he ate it faster, "without chewing?" I asked, and my dad said yes. I then could do nothing but picture a whole sandwich, floating in his stomach, and whenever I saw his friend after that, I always thought that the sandwich was still in his stomach, whole!

I used to think that corn flakes were the middle of the cob sliced ver-r-r-y thin and baked. I suppose like crisps (US- chips). I thought it was brilliant that they had something to do with the cob when the corn kernels had been taken off and put into tins. I think I was into my teens before this belief was shaken, and I still think it's a shame it's not true. (After all, shredded wheat is demonstrably made out of twigs, and nobody's convincing me otherwise!)

When I was about 6 we had lychees/litchis, out of a tin because they were a bit of a novelty then. My father jokingly told me they were sheep's eyes, that the hole (where the pit was taken out) was where the coloured part of the eye had been scooped away. Although he dropped the story immediately, I just couldn't eat them, and to this day I can only eat fresh ones I've shelled myself, otherwise the image of an eye is too strong. And I am SO relieved to find that other people keep their induced phobias into adulthood, it makes me feel much less pathetic!

I used to think that if I ate any kind of seed (watermelons in particular as well as apples, oranges, etc) I'd grow a tree in my stomach. How it watered and grew didn't matter to me; and I would watch my mother for hours after she ate any seeds for fear that a tree would sprout out of her stomach!

I used to believe…

(please remember that i was very young when this happened!)

i was at my friend's house when his mum came in to offer us some chewing gum. she offered it to evryone and we sat around the table playing cards. i had never seen gum before, so i just put it into my mouth, chewed it then swallowed it. i looked around and saw everyone was still chewing it, and i was thinking how slow they all were. it was only until i asked my dad what it was that i realised how stupid i was.

My Dad told me I'd choke to death if I swallowed bubble gum. Even today I panic for a second if I swallow some gum. Thanks Dad.

My sister used to believe that if she ate those 'parma violets' sweets she would have the power of flying, and she would try jumping off the stairs (but only about as far up as the fourth stair) to see if it worked when she had them. Other sherbert sweets, strangely, weren't endowed with such powers.

I usesd to believe that eating orange peel would give you worms. so used to eat it anyway out of spite.

When I was little my parents told me that if I didn't eat my potatoes I would turn green. That's why martians are green because they don't have any potatoes on mars (of course!).