food

Naive child that I was, my mother convinced me that liverwurst was made from apples to get me to eat it (apples - yum; liver - yuck). She teased me for years about fooling me into eating it and I still don't fully trust her anymore... oh well.

I saw the signs that said "beer on tap" and thought adults just needed to walk in and tap their fingers on the bar to get a beer.

When I was five or six someone told me I should not swallow my gum because I could not digest it. I kept waiting for the day gum would come up my throat because it was piling up in a stack in my tummy.

When my best friend and I were 10 or 11 years old we decided to test the gum swallowing theory. I chewed and swallowed a whole pack of grape gum and marked it on the calender to see if it would come out in seven years. We also planned an elaborate funeral if I died instead. Two days later at her grandmothers house, I pooped out a turd with wads of purple gum stuck to it putting to rest the seven years theory. We were also relieved that I didn't die.
How did we celebrate? MORE GUM!

I used to believe that when people ate Ramen noodles, that the noodles would slowly turn into worms in the person's stomach. I was always terrified to eat them until my mom told me that the noodles were like the ones in chicken soup, and not made of worms at all. Now I practically live off of them. Oh the life of a student...

when I was seven my brother told me that if I swallowed chewing gum my arm would drop off.

I used to belief that the crusts on bread had more vitamins

I used to beleive that my mom fed me pureed snails for baby food. We had this jar full of snail shells we kept in the cupboard, and one day I asked her what they were for. She said 'oh, when You were a baby, I made you baby food by putting the snails in the blender. I just kept the shells for fun.'. I beleived that into early adulthood.

I used to think that chocolate ice cream was made when black people washed their hands in vanilla ice cream

I had a pad of all multi coloured construction paper. I was somehow convinced that each colour was a flavour, too, like blueberry, strawberry, grape, etc. I ate little pieces of the paper and I was quite certain I could detect the subtle nuances of flavour in each one.

The Colonel Sanders logo as seen on Kentuky Fried Chicken signs just shows the colonel's head and a little early american style bow tie under his chin. Only I always thought the bow tie was actually a little stick-figure body that his oversized head was attached to.

When I was 4 years old, I asked my baby-sitter why she didn't chew gum in bed at night, and she said that it was because when she woke up, it would end up in her hair, and from then until I was 11, I thought that if you slept with gum in your mouth, it somehow fell to the back of your head and came out through your hair follicles (though I obviously didn't know that word at such a young age).

When I was a little girl, I believed that the orange cheese crackers that come in the packs with peanut butter were made out of monarch butterfly wings. I even explained the entire process to my younger sister.

I was told that if I swallowed gum that it took years and years to digest. And when it finally did I would be constapated for a long time because of it.

A relative told me when I was very young that the oreo crumbs in the middle of an ice cream cake were coffee grounds. I didn't learn otherwise until I was at least 8 years old!

When I was little, I used to believe that if I eat grapes with seeds, a grape vine will be grown from my throat. So if I accidentally swallow a grape seed, I won't drink water that day so that the seed can't grow.