food: general

When I was little I used to believe that a serial killer was a man who came to your house and crushed your cheerios. For years I used to check my cereal boxes everyday to see if he had come.

One day my grandmother took me to McDonald's for hamburgers and french fries. I bit into a fry that had a hollow space in it. I showed it to her and said "Look, nan, they didn't finish stuffing this one!" I couldn't understand why she laughed so hard at that!

When i was a kid, my father had me believing in the spaghetti tree, which resembled a willow tree but it was spaghetti that hung down and got cut off at harvest time. This i bought, lock stock and barrel, and was thoroughly confused when we were shown some old faked documentary showing the spaghetti being harvested in the fields in Italy!

When we had chicken for dinner my older brother and sister told me, that if you would eat chicken wings one day you could fly! Of course that was exactly what I wanted to do! So I specialized on chicken wings, while they ate away on those legs, that being the reason why they told me that story in the first place. Everybody was happy for a long time with this agreement!

When I was little I would always refuse to eat grilled-cheese sandwiches. It made my mother crazy, because she knew that I liked them. Finally one day she demanded to know why I wouldn't eat it and I said, "I can't eat GIRL cheese sandwiches... I'm a BOY."

When we were little, each of my three sisters and I all went through a faze of think we were eating "Palmers and cheese" insted of parmesan cheese on our pasta. I always wondered what palmers were and how they mixed them into the cheese. I think I was imagining something along the lines of a palm leaf, I was quite disappointed when I found out the truth.....

When we were little my brother loved to eat pork chops because he thought they were called Port Chops and Ports were a very rare and delicious animal because he had never seen one. He didn't learn otherwise until I told him the truth when he was in his late teens. He was rather disappointed.

I told my kids that Chocolate custard/pudding with Pokemon on the lids were actually made from ......SQUISHED pokemons!

When I was younger my sister and I would sometimes stand out on our deck which looked into the woods eating carrots. My sister would eat a carrot and then tell me she could see through the woods to the street about 1/4 mile away and tell me what color car was driving by at the time. She told me to keep eating carrots and it would improve my eyesight so I could see that far too. I have eaten a lot of carrots in my days but still have yet to see through the woods to the other side.

I always thought that the Kellogs Special K advert which said, "For grown up people who'd rather not grow anymore.." really meant that it would stop you getting any taller. I loved the stuff but was always wary of stunting my growth. I'm 6'3" tall now (but fat)

When I was about 8 years old, my brother used to tell me weird storys...
one of the consequence of his storys was that I used to belive that people cry when they cut onion because when they cut the onion they remember the "onion man" that died very young, and they get sad when remembering the story and start crying...

When I was 5 we were at an IHOP. I was stuck on the concept of money for food and asked my mother about it. She said "We give the man money and he gives us Pancakes"
So in my head I saw us giving the man a quarter and him turning it into a pancake.

~ When I was 6 yrs. old, my baby sitter told me if i ate to many tuna fish sandwiches, i would turn intto a fish!

Hey, i was little, give me a break!~

I never liked to eat the peel on apples, so I always asked my mother to cut it off for me. One day, when I went to visit my grandmother, she began cutting the peel off an apple she was about to eat. I remarked that I didn't like the peel either, to which she replied: "No, it's not good to eat, there's little bits of poop on it." I believed her for a long time until I closely inspected one and could find no traces of poop whatsoever.
I now eat the peel on the apples.

While out shopping with my mom in the meat section of the supermarket, I would see packages of chicken with a sticker "B'LESS CHICKEN" on it. I didn't know that "B'LESS" actually stood for boneless chicken, and thought the priest went round blessing every piece of chicken so as to make it safe for our consumption. Ahh, those were the days.

I used to think I had to eat two biscuits or two mini choc bars at a time because if I only ate one it would be lonely. Poor little biscuit, getting digested all on its own . . . sniffle.
I do not believe this now, but eating two biscuits at a time has become a habit. No wonder I'm so fat.