food: general

My uncle used to warn me about eating strawberries straight from the vine because he said that they were covered with snake spit.

I always wondered why snakes didn't have anything else better to do than go around licking every strawberry in sight. It didn't stop me from eating them, though.

I used to believe that Firecrackers were Saltines that made a loud bang when lit on fire.

People blow on hot food to make it a temperature better suited to their mouths. My teeth are sensitive to cold so for a long time I would blow on ice cream before eating it.

I used to believe that there were two tubes in my neck, one for drinks, and one for food, that lead directly to the very seperate substances that are pee and poo. Sometimes if I drank without being careful, I would accidentally breathe in the liquid... I didn't think about a tube for breathing, but I instead believed the drink had gone down the food tube and caused a massive problem.

so I still laugh to this day when I suck a bit of liquid into my trachea and scream... "IT WENT DOWN THE WRONG TUUUUBE!!!"

When I was little, to get me to eat my, siblings told me there were people partying in my stomach. I had to eat food so they could eat and the party could keep going.

After opening a tin of baked beans, and putting them in a pan, I would always leave 3 or 4 in the bottom of the tin thinking that i was helping them to escape a fate worse than being eaten. I would imagine them jostling in the bottom of the tin so that they would be the ones to be left. Im sure i could hear them cheering as i put the tin in the bin!!

When I was about four, I actually believed that the Mrs. Butterworth Syrup bottle would talk to a little kid, just like on TV. Every morning for weeks, I would make my (long-suffering and very tolerant) mom leave the kitchen so I could have a conversation with her. I never could get her to talk to me, of course.

I used to think that tinned spaghetti was actually worms and refused to eat it. Now in my mid twenties, I still can't bring myself to put it in my mouth!

I used to love Chi-chi's when I was younger, and I loved to eat "fried ice cream". My grampa told me that they had in the back special deep friers that were hotter than normal, and that way they could dip the ice cream in really quick and it wouldn't melt, only develop a crunch coating on the outside. And I believed him!

i used to believe that broccoli were actually home to a whole civilization of teeny little people who lived in a whole complicated system of treehouses and walkways. i ate the broccoli, but not happily.

When I was a little girl, my brother told me that the pieces of peel in orange marmalade were the chopped up remains of Fred and Freda - my dead goldfish! 20 years later I still won't eat orange marmalade...

I was always told by my grandfather that eating LOTS of Dried Apricots I would grow up to be big and strong. I ate 2 packets in 2 hours and vomited all over the kitchen floor, and my poor old grandfather had to clean up the mess while my grandma had a good old laugh.

Sense Mc Donalds was my favorite restraunt and the one I ate at most as a child, I often ordered the Chicken Nuggets. I was shocked to hear that at Burger King, they served somthing coalled Chicken Tenders. I was scared to try them because I didn't know what they were!

Remeber the old Pillsbury Dough Boy commercials? When I was small, my mother called my brothers and I into the kitchen to see the Pillsbury Dough Boy jump from the canister when she wacked it on the edge of the counter (like he did in the commercials...) We stood there, dumbfounded, because he didn't appear. It wasn't until my mother began laughing hysterically that I realized she was playing a joke on us.

When my sister was little she somehow got confused about the old adage that eating carrots made your eyesite better - she thought it made her eyes "shiny". We just went along with it since she was very eager to finish her carrots if it was going to do that. For awhile she would always end a meal asking one of us if her eyes looked shiny.

When I was 8 or so, I misheard my aunt ordering dumplings at a Chinese restaurant. I thought she said "Duckings."

I wouldn't eat dumplings until I was 15, when one of my friends managed to convince me that they weren't actually made from baby ducks.