food: general

I used to believe that dried cylindrical hay bails in fields was where shredded wheat came from and the frosted kind happened when the cows dropped milk on them.

When I was younger, my parents would make landscapes on the dinner plates with vegetables and I believed that broccoli were actually tiny trees. When my teacher served us broccoli for lunch one day, I looked her straight in the eye and informed her that I would not eat the little trees.

When i was a child my parents told me:

"You must eat a lot of food if you want grow and become as tall as your dad!"

And so i used to think that the food entered inside my body and when the body was full of food, the new food that i introduced, pushed the food in my head toward the top. And for this, i could became tall.

For this lore i eated as an insane boy.

My sister used to tell me that bananas were grown straight and that they were sent to the north pole and bent by a man known as the banana bender. So when we used to get straight bananas she used to say that the banana bender didn't do his job i believed this from when I was three to six!

I thought B.Y.O. referred to food, so I was amazed that people would go to all the trouble to cook their tea and then get the car out and go to a restaurant in order to eat it. Why on earth would people do that?!

when i was like 4 or 5 i used to believe that noodles were dried worms & when you boiled them they would come back to life & if u ate then they would live in you forever.

when I was young, I was told that Cornish Pasties were made so that you could get a whole meal into a small package that you could drop down a Cornish mineshaft. I finally realised it would break when it hit the bottom when I was nineteen.

Aged about six or seven, I was sat eating breakfast with my father and grandfather and asked them what "Daddies" brown sauce was made of. "It's made of daddies", they told me. I was horrified and was convinced for years that some day the sauce people would come and make my Dad into sauce.

I used to believe that the stuffed green olives happened in this way: At the canning warehouse, women stood at their tables opposite of the red pimento. The green olives were lined up in front of the workers who coaxed with bended finger, "Come one, little pimento, crawl into this lovely olive!" whereby the obedient pimento snuggled right inside the olive and was promptly gathered into jars for packing. lol

i used to believe that broccoli were actually home to a whole civilization of teeny little people who lived in a whole complicated system of treehouses and walkways. i ate the broccoli, but not happily.

My mother got my siblings and I to eat brocilli by saying they were "fairy trees" and thus making them special. However my elementry school was very big on teaching us the importance of saving your environment, so when I'd see huge bowls full of brocilli I'd start crying - thinking that I was aiding the deforestation in the "Fairy World" and causing their rain forests to be destroyed.

when i was little, i didn't think that anything mattered in cooking except that the mix/batter/dough be the same color/texture as what you were planning on making. My mom had had a really long day and mentioned something about having to make dinner and dessert. I decided (at 7) that i would save her some work and make a cake for dessert. I took a big plastic rubbermaid container and started to fill it with flour, cocoa, chocolate syrup, mustard, baking soda, eggs, coffee, bread, jam, and anything else i could get my hands on. I mixed the whole thing up, put it in the microwave, and four minutes later....BOOM!....it exploded. Needless to say, I did not lessen my mom's workload that night. To this day i'm still finding pieces of my "cake" on the vents inside my microwave.

when i was little i believed that leprecauns put the holes in crumpets.

I used to think coconuts were fruit. But one day, I was uncertain. So I walked up to my mother and asked her, "Mom, are coconuts fruits, or vegetables?" She just looked at me and said, "cocoNUTS?" I moment later I put two and two together. The sad thing is, I was 13.

When I was little my sister told me you could only eat dessert with a dessert spoon (which was what we called regular spoons) so I spent 14 years eating everything else with a tea spoon except for my dessert then my boyfriend told me that was nuts

When I was a kid, I thought that those wooden 'honey ladles' were actually complex devices made out of honey and honeycomb themselves, instead of just being unique wooden utensils.