food: general

When I was a kid, whenever my mum asked if my little brother and I would like to go to the local McDonalds, I would ask if Ronald McDonald was going to be there. I was convinced he was evil and would kidnap and eat me. Its only recently that McDonalds have finally dropped him from their marketing. I guess its finally safe for me to go there now.

To get me to eat my tomato soup, my mom told me it was "Porky Pig Soup", since she made it with milk and it was kind of pink. Since I loved the color pink and Porky Pig, I ate it up!!

My father never liked onions so we never ate them. Conesquently whenever we ate at McDonald's and I had my Juniorburger I thought the little pieces of onion were rice.

Once, when I was about 8 years old, my mom allowed me to make a batch of brownies from a box mix. The directions said, "Stir by hand" so that is what I did: I stuck my hand in the bowl of batter to stir. My mom and I both got a good laugh out of that one.

My brother and I used to believe (because our mom told us so) that Zoom cereal would make you run faster. We would run up and down the hallway and ask if we were any faster than before. 

'Girl Cheese Sandwich'. Sadly, it wasn't until I was 20 years old looking at a restaurant menu that I saw the printing 'Grilled Cheese Sandwich' and let out a big "Ohhhhhhhhhh".

One time we went to a restaurant, and my dad took my sister (who was about 4) to see the lobster tank. She asked him how the restaurant could tell the girl lobsters from the boy lobsters. THinking fast, my dad said that the boy lobsters had blue rubber bands and the girl lobsters had pink ones.

She announced this to her class at school the next day. And she believe it well until she got into high school.

I used to believe…

1) that jingle from the ice-cream van means they've run out.

2) I have a pudding stomach (I convinced my kids of this) because even when I'm full up and I can't eat anymore main course, I can always eat a pudding.

3) based in how it is when it melts, my step daughter told the waitress that the sorbet she was eating was 'slug spit'.

I used to believe that joints of beef were cylindrical, not realising that they were rolled. When my mother asked me how I thought they got that shape of meat out of a cow I said 'with a hole-puncher'. I then had a dream about cows on a conveyor belt with these massive hole-punchers rising and falling.

As a child, we always had strawberries and raspberries growing in the garden. During the winter, my mother sometimes bought tinned fruit and, for several years, I believed that the tinned fruits were artificial and made in a factory! You can't blame me because they taste so different to the fresh fruit!

When I was a child, my Mom told me that carrots had vitamins in them. I tried and tried to see them and was sure if I kept eating them that one day I would find a vitamin tablet inside.

When I was 8 or so, I misheard my aunt ordering dumplings at a Chinese restaurant. I thought she said "Duckings."

I wouldn't eat dumplings until I was 15, when one of my friends managed to convince me that they weren't actually made from baby ducks.

I used to think that if I held the cold drink in my glass above the hot food on my plate, it would effectively cool down the food.

When I was little, to get me to eat my, siblings told me there were people partying in my stomach. I had to eat food so they could eat and the party could keep going.

When I was little, I used to beleive that those white mushrooms you buy at the store would make me grow big like they did Mario in the video games. I knew the ones in the yard weren't good though.

I used to believe that pineapples grew on palm trees.