food: general

I used to ALWAYS order plain hamburgers at McDonalds, because I thought that the more stuff you put on, the crappier it tastes. I thought this because i once had a fish sandwich (i hate fish...), and i thought it was a normal one. It had cheese and mayonaise and stuff like that. So when i ate it, i thought it tasted bad because of the cheese and mayonaise. After my mom encouraged me to try kethcup with my hamburger, i tried it and it tasted good. So every time i went to McDonalds, i would add more and more stuff until i became satisfied with ordering Big Macs, which i eat today.

When i was younger i was unaware of soybeans. This lead to the idea that soy sauce came from... elephants! Specifically, it was a byproduct of when they farted. So it was some mans job to stand at the elephants rear and bottle this stuff. It never concerned me and i didn't stop eating it. Ah, the young fertile mind.

When I was 5 we were at an IHOP. I was stuck on the concept of money for food and asked my mother about it. She said "We give the man money and he gives us Pancakes"
So in my head I saw us giving the man a quarter and him turning it into a pancake.

My mother told me there was a great pumpkin(like in Charlie Brown) and I got upset because there wasn't a pumpkin patch near my house. Little did I know it was a joke that would haunt me all my life.

I was a big fan of freezies when I was a child, and would always ask my mother for one when she had a free moment. The thing was, I never really learned what they were called, and instead of my mother telling me what to call them, I made up the name 'bagels' in place of the word 'freezie'. One day, my mother had friends over and I tugged on her sleeve, asking for a 'bagel'. Needless to say, it shocked my mother's friends when she reached into the freezer and pulleed out an icepop instead of an actual bagel. I thought nothing of it, and now to this day, at 20 years old, myself, my mother, my brother and my grandmother all call them bagels.

when i was about 3-4 years old my mam told me that if i wouldn't be thankfull for having food to eat,my food would,suddenly disappear from my plate...so from this time i started yelling :THANKS!"every time i left the kitchen..

somehow,i still say thanks till now everytime i left anyone's kitchen...i am 18 years old!

When I was little my favorite thing to eat was hotdogs. My mother didn't like them. She told me they were made out of kangaroos. They were no longer my favorite food.

I used to think when you see the strawberrys in the cereal like ricecrispys, They really Came in the box. I was so pissed off when I found out. I cried the whole day screaming " WHY! WHY DO THEY LIE! THOSE LOSERS!'' ahh... Good times

When I was 4 or 5, I loved to read the ingredient lists on the backs of food packages, boxes, wrappers, etc. Something I saw very often was "Red no.1 Lake" or "Blue Lake".

Of course, it made perfect sense to me that they added an entire lake full of red or a lake full of blue.

What else could it mean?

As a 6 year old, my siblings and I would watch the foghorn leghorn cartoons.I used to love them so much.One day at dinner, we were eating chicken.My sister asked what chicken it was.then out of nowhere my older brother exclamied, We are eating foghorn leghorn.I screamed and started crying.I never wanted to eat my favorite cartoon character, so I didnt eat chicken for a while. 16 years later, I STILL wont eat chicken!

I used to believe that Tabasco was used to punish people who misbehaved by putting it in their food. At one point, I was punished for saying a bad word by having a drop of Tabasco sauce fed to me.

I grew out of it, and am now willing to use hot sauce in nearly everything. Is there a hate-to-love thing going on here? I think there's a connection.

When I was very young, I used to believe that salt and sugar were opposites. Once, (maybe more than once), I ate enough sugar to get sick. So I tried to then eat salt as an antidote. It didn't work as well as I anticipated.

i used to think brussels sprouts were tiny baby heads of lettuce

I use to think that asparagus was made of buggers.

MY aunt told me if i ate broccoli my boobs would grow

My parents convinced my sister that haggis was a scottish creature. There were two types of haggis. The low-land haggis was long and thin with short legs so they could hide in rabbit holes when being hunted. The highland haggis was round and fat with the left hand legs longer than the right. The reason for this was so the haggis could stand on the side of hills comfortably and the way you would catch them is by chasing them from in front so that they'd turn around and fall over and two men would be waiting at the bottom of the hill with nets to catch them.