I used to think stage makeup was like ordinary makeup, and that people would do things like draw on themselves with lipstick to look like blood or use eyebrow or eyeliner pencils to give themselves spots. It does sound fun.
I thought "deployed" meant "fired".
When I was nine, I thought two eleven-year-olds could get married.
When I was eight or so, I was at the mall with my mother and got bored, so I looked through the greeting cards for something to do.
One of them had a message "you're not old until the fat lady sings" and when I opened it, it had an illustration of a large woman singing. I was worried that I'd then turn into an old woman.
I used to believe Sting was my dad in a parallel universe
When I was a kid I used think my father ever was right and other people was stupid.
When I first heard the word "lumberjack", I thought it was "Numberjack" like the TV show The Numberjacks. When I was corrected, I thought a lumberjack was a dude named Jack who lumbered around.
When I was about 6 years old, I believed that a man wasn't allowed to get married if he hadn't been in the Army.
When I was a child I used to believe children were being brought by stork.
I read a poem entitled My Sister Laura. My mom's name is Laura and she has two younger siblings so I thought one of them had written it.