grown-ups

I used to believe…

My dad told me that when he was younger he worked for his dads construction company as a go-for (like 'hey kid, go for this or go for that) but I got confused when writing a paper in elementary school about my dad and said he had a job as a beaver.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 years old, I used to think that I swim very well. My father said that I was a successful swimmer. After many years, I saw my childhood photo and I realized I wasn' t swimming too good. Actually, I was swimming on the shore of the sea.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 years old, I used to think that I swim very well. My father said that I was a successful swimmer. After many years, I saw my childhood photo and realized I wasn' t swimming too good. Actually, I was swimming on the shore of the sea.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I saw my dad wearing a Hooters t-shirt while he was fixing the car, so I naturally associated the two things and thought Hooters was an auto repair shop. Whenever I'd hear my parents say something was wrong with the car, I'd always suggest, "let's go to Hooters!" i never understood why they'd shoot it down all the time until i finally realized what Hooters was when I was... 16

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid, I was convinced that the place my mother went to get her hair "done" was the Beauty Saloon. I imagined everybody's mother sitting around in curlers, having drinks at a bar!

I believed that when people were fired, they would literally be thrown in fire and engulfed in the flames. I used to tell my mom not to fire anyone while playing because I didn't want to burn anyone.

I used to believe…

Due to both of my grandmother's and my granny's friend being called Barbara, I used to believe that when a woman turned 50 (aka got old) she had to change her name to Barbara. I really wasn't looking forward to my 50th birthday...

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I would look at the papers on my Dad's desk. When I saw the contributions to his IRA (Individual Retirement Account), I thought he was giving money to the Irish Republican Army.

I used to believe…

When I was little, my mother told me that she would swap me for another little boy every time I 'misbehaved', I always had this mental image of a supermarket-like store which sold children.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 I asked my parents why vegetables were good for you, and they said 'they make you grow big and strong.' I got confused and thought they meant you got older, and i really wanted to be older than my sister! (shes 2 years older than me) after about a year of practicing this, our birthdays came! (my birthday is Jan 8, my sister's is Jan 10) And my birthday came first! I was so happy and convinced I was now bigger and older than her - and very annoyed when everybody said I wasn't!

I used to believe…

When I asked my dad why my grandpa divorced my grandma and married another woman, he told me that my grandpa realized that he had married the wrong person.

I understood that too literally.

For a very long time, I thought my grandpa mistook my grandma for another woman whom he had met before her.

I used to think that people never died and that they kept growing so that they were as tall as giants and their fingernails grew to longer than buses. I also thought the sun was a giant lightbulb. (I was 5.)

I used to believe…

Whenever we drove by the flashing red light from an antenna my dad said it was taking a picture. He always told me to smile. I use to smile for years until I figured it out. Still whenever I think about it when I see one I laugh snd still smile.

I used to believe…

For a long time when I was little I didn't understand the difference between your left and right and the left and right of someone that was facing you. In dance class, our teacher was always saying stuff like "my left, your right", and somehow I took this to mean that all adults' left & right were reversed from kids'.

I used to believe that I could control the outcome of a situation if I thought the opposite was going to happen. For instance, if I needed to ask my dad for money, I would imagine him telling me no then he would say yes. I didn't realize how terribly wrong I was until I turned 15 and he told me to get a job.

I used to believe…

When i was about 4, i had heard about inches and knew they measured how tall you were, but i hadn't heard anything about feet, other than the ones i walked on, of course.
One day, an old friend of my mom visited. She hadn't seen me for a while and said "wow, your growing up. Youve grown another foot since i saw you last!" I began to panic and desperately looked at my feet. Then i looked at my moms friend and angrily accused "your lying, i still have 2!"