grown-ups

I used to believe…

When my parents told me that I could be anything I wanted when I grew older, I took it non-job wise. I really thought that I would turn into a dog later on, because thats what I wanted to be! I even peed behind the couch, practicing...

I used to believe…

When I was a kid, practically all wives still took their husbands' last names. But I didn't understand that that happened and therefore didn't understand that all married couples that I knew of had the same last name for that reason. I thought the only pairs of people allowed to marry were an unrelared man and woman who just happened to already have the same last name. I felt lucky to have a fairly common last name, thinking that would make it easier for me to find someome to marry. As for people with quite uncommon last names, I wondered how they ever managed to find anybody to marry.

I used to believe…

When I was around 4 years old, my grandma told me I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. I was thrilled to discover this, and decided I was going to be an Eskimo. I didn't really understand the concept of a salary or paycheck, but I did know that jobs meant you would get money. I assumed I would get paid for building an igloo and wearing a parka, and it would be the greatest job ever.

I have another one. When I was a little bit older, right after I found out that kindergarten wasn't a mass-wedding...I began to form, not really a crush, but what I thought was going to be a forced marriage. Everyday my family would go over to this couple's house named "Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jon's". Then they would force me and this little terror named "Scottie" to play together. It wasn't until during my kindergarten year that I figured out that Aunt Kathy was my mom's sister and Uncle Jon was her husband. It wasn't until 2nd grade that I found out that me and Scottie weren't going to be forced to marry, but that he was my cousin!

I used to believe…

When I was about 2-4 I thought that kindergarten was a mass-wedding. Since I never really had any life experience, I only knew guys on tv and my family members. I would always walk around saying "I'm gonna marry Ronald McDonald and Barney!" My family always asked me if I thought that was mean to cheat on two people I loved so much. I never really figured out what they meant until I was in 4th grade... Little kids are sad...

I used to believe…

When I was about four I was a flower girl in my uncles wedding. The wedding party was having a hard time trying to convince me to go down the aisle with the ring bearer because I felt I wasn't ready to. After some coaxing I stepped into the aisle and realized that it was, as I had feared, MY wedding! I knew it all along! I was not going to let them force me to marry him! I didn't like the ring bearer at all. I kicked him in the junk and screamed "I won't do it!"

I used to believe…

When I was young I assumed that you were suppose to marry your father. This worried me because I have several sisters. I wondered which of us would get to marry him.

I use to think that babys wer girls and wen thay got older thay wer boys.

I used to beleve that adults cood see yor skin red or blu depending on yor gender.

I went with my mum and dad to see my uncle's new office. We were the only ones there as it was evening and my mum told me this certain empty desk was where my uncle's secretary worked. For some reason I thought secretary meant a sinister, shiny dark red robot. That's how I saw it in my head. I kept nagging them to leave as I was terrified it would come in.

I thought that, because I was losing my baby teeth and getting bigger teeth, that the older you got, the bigger teeth you got. I had trouble imagining my grandma's teeth because I thought they were supposed to be really big.

I used to believe…

When I was young at one point I was driving my mother crazy enough one that she yelled out that she was going to the "funny Farm" , apparently 10 minutes later I came from my room with an overnight bag saying that I wanted to go also. My thinking was the funny farm was a fun circus type place and I was missing out.

I used to believe…

When my friend was about 4, her cousin told her that when you graduated from high school, you had to go live in an igloo. My friend started to cry and asked her grandparents if it was true but they laughed at her.

I used to believe…

When I was little, I thought that when you got married you decided if you wanted a kid or not and the minister or pastor or whatever would give it to you then. and I was deathly worried that I wouldn't be able to make up my mind and would want one after I already said no!

I knew that my mother and father were little once, but I believed that grew to the age of adults in a couple of days. I reasoned that grandparents grew even faster.

I used to believe…

This is really embarrassingly stupid, but when I was young (really old enough to know better though!) I noticed that many older women had breasts which had begun to... sag. Since I knew some animals had their teats closer to the belly than the chest (like cows) I seriously concluded I had found one more proof of evolution, i.e. that past generations were physically more akin to animals in this one area. I wonder why-- I wasn't usually nearly so dumb!