grown-ups

I used to believe…

when i was four years old, i asked my mum how old she was. she said '21', as lying about one's age was common among women in those days (and, of course, still is!). When, two years later, her birthday arrived, I sent her a card saying 'happy 23rd birthday, mummy!'. She was 44. i guess when you are a small child one adult looks very much like another - whether they are 16 or 61!

I used to believe…

when i was around 7. my sister told me that i had to pay her, for being my sister. i got scared that she wouldn't be my sister if i didn't give her the money. so i stole $10 from my mother's purse and gave it to her. when my mother realised the money was missing she asked me if i had seen it. i told her thta my sister had it. my mother shouted at her took her money back and grounded her for a week. hahahahaha she got what she deserved!!

I used to believe…

For years now I have been telling my daughter (now 11) that the hospital sends every new mother home with a book about how to embarrass their kids. She said she asked her Dad and he didn't know anything about it. "Of course," I said, "Dads don't get to see the book." She has asked any number of other mothers, some of them total strangers, and they ALL, God bless them, have looked completely serious and told her it's absolutely true!

I used to believe…

When I was young I believed that striking workers on picket lines kept warm by burning brassieres. It was only when I was 34 that I realised the reporters on newscasts must have been referring to burning 'braziers'.

I used to believe…

Up until the age of about 6 I always believed that people were born as either adults or children; I was one of the unlucky ones I used to think until the day I could switch the light switch off without standing on something, which made me realise I was in fact growing up

I used to belive that adults were never kids. I thought that they just stayed the way they were until they died. I was amazed to find out that they were kids at one time.

I used to believe…

when I was 4 I thought you could be ANYTHING when you grew up. One day my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said I wanted to be a toad. After a while I got tired of that idea and decided to be a rock.

I used to believe that my dad was the guy on those Brawny paper towles. Now i look back and i realize that the only thing in common is that they both have a mustache. They dont look alike AT ALL

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 or 5 years old, my mom, and I would go to the grocery store. On the way home in the car, I would sometimes wonder if the woman driving the car was really my mom or a "stranger" who just looked like my mom but was actually kidnapping me.

I used to believe…

Waking my mum up is never a good idea, so when my dad told my sister and I that the Incredible Hulk had broken into our house looking for a warm bed only to wake up my mum and be chased out of town, not only did we believe him but we wouldn't talk to our mum as she'd robbed us of our chance to meet him!

I used to believe…

my brother told me he diddnt want to get married when he was about 6 or 7. i told him men had to get married and he believed me for a year until he asked my mom why men had to get married

I forget when It was but one day my mom was talking to my Aunt about a survey where it asked their 'Maiden name'. I thought that meant their 'lady name' and took the survey from my mom and read what she had wrote. Then I erased it and wrote 'Mommy'. She didn't notice and sent the survey in! When I told my mom that she got her maiden name wrong and I corrected it, she freaked and told me what a Maiden name stood for. Oopsy ^^;;

I used to believe…

Now, I was a one of those 'nerdy' booksmart kids who thought they knew everything. One time, we were celebrating my Uncle's Dad's birthday and I was pigging out on the cake. My Mom's friends were talking about dating and I said 'I'm gonna be the person every guy wants to go out with!' My mom's friend Ed said 'Isn't that a little vain?' I shook my head and to,d him 'It's because all the guys don't have to spend money on me' Ed asked why and I told him it's because I was allergic to metal. So, instead of a guy showing up at my door with jewerly, I prefer he just bring money!
They laughed so hard I thought my mom was gonna burst. I spouted out 'What's so funny?!?' Ed laughed and said: 'That's called Prostitution honey.' To this day, I'm still embarrassed about it.

I used to believe…

When I was young, I used to believe that Life was in 4 steps. At birth, your a child until ur 25, then ur an adult until your 50, then old until your 75, then it's Golf and Bingo until your 100!

I used to believe…

When I was little, because they looked a lot alike, I thought my dad was Howard Cunningham from Happy Days. I saw him leave for work in the morning, and then in the middle of the day I saw him on TV for a half an hour with his TV family, and then he came back home to us, his real family, in the evening. This made me really happy because I thought when I grew up, I'd get to be the Fonz, and they'd have to give me a motorcycle.

i used to believe my mum was older than my dad because her birthday was before his. my dad encouraged this thought until the day i realised i was wrong.