grown-ups

I used to believe…

Before I was 6 whenever my parent's mentioned that they had to go to work I always imagined them going to some farm and chopping wood. I also imagined that they had to wait in line to do this.

I used to believe that "work" was actually the name of a job and since every adult I knew went "to work" I was convinced that all grown-ups had the same job and worked in the same building. It never dawned on me that for example teachers were working, because I didn't consider that a job. It wasn't until a teacher at our school retired (and I learned that retiring meant "to stop working") that I found out the truth. Within a week I learned that policemen, doctors etc. were also "working".

I used to believe…

Here in NJ, there used to be (I don't think it exists anymore) a psychiatric hospital commonly referred to as Marlboro...from the town or township it was in, I think.

When I used to drive my mother to distraction, she'd tell me I was going to "Drive her to Marlboro". In my naive, little kid mind, I thought she meant that she was going to change cigarette brands.

I was cleaning my bike one day, I was about 10 years old. Dad came in and saw I was having a bit of a hard time getting it clean, and told me I'll have to use some "elbow grease"
He went away and I was left wondering where this elbow grease was, so I went and asked my mum. They had a good laugh at my expense!

I did the math and figured out that I would be 36 when the year 2000 arrived. I imagined that I'd be really old by then...too old to go out to a party, but maybe I could just manage to stay up late enough to watch it on TV. (I also thought all "old" people went to bed early and took naps during the day.)

I used to believe…

My uncle was always teasing me and my brother, and by the time I was in my late teens, we were both so used to his b.s. that we took anything he said with a grain of salt. One day he told us there was a movie called "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes". We didn't believe him...and then years later we found out it was true.

I grew up in a Russian immigrant family and I was used to hearing my father's name in Russian, which with English letters would be "Seroja". Also, my father owned and worked at a signs store named "Signs, Signs, Signs". Every time I was at his office with him, which was pretty often, he would answer the phone "Signs, Signs, Signs". So one day he brought a friend over and so I asked his name and my dad's friend said "I have the same name as your dad. Do you know your dad's name?" And I said, "Of course! It's Seroja." So he replied, "And what is it in English?" So of course I said... "It's Signs Signs Signs!"

I used to believe…

Get this Dorks, I used to believe that you had to marry your brother. When I was little my brother was being mean to me and I said," I'm not going to marry u I'm going to marry Brian(My other brother)!!!!

I used to believe…

When I was younger my parents would sometimes go out on weekdays, and our older brother would babysit us. To compensate for leaving us alone, my parents would allow us to sleep in their bed. Every time they went out, I thought they would die in a car accident and we'd be left all alone. I would cry my eyes out, covering my face in my Mom's pyjamas, trying to comfort myself with her smell. I would literally cry myself to sleep. Then, later on I would wake up in my own bed, and I'd be relieved, because that meant my dad had carried me to my bed and they were back home. Safe.

I am the second child in my family, coming after my sister Liz. When I was 3 or 4 years old, I used to think that every family has a Mom, a Dad, a Liz, and another guy, which in my family happened to be me.

I used to believe that in order to be a teenager, you HAD to smoke and swear. My childhood friend and I would come home from Kindergarden and sit up in her room pretending to smoke and swear at eachother.....we thought we were so mature....

I used to believe…

At one time when my brother and I were misbehaving and getting on our parents' nerves, my father said "Oh, do what you want."

We thought he meant it - so of course we got in even more trouble.

I used to believe…

When I was younger, I wanted to be a kangaroo SO BADLY when I grew up. My dad spent hours trying to tell me that I couldn't be, and I threw horrible temper tantrums EVERY TIME.

I used to believe…

When I was 5, my mom and i hopped in the car to pick up my dad and i asked her why we had to pick him up. She responded "he got fired". My eyes got wide and i said "They're going to shoot daddy!?"

I used to believe…

my friend from preschool, told me about her twin sister (they were both black) and asked me if i had a twin.. naturally, being the competitive one that i was, i said yes and told her that they had dark skin like hers and long black hair in cornrows like hers.. soon i realized, that i wasnt black.

I used to believe…

I was very amazed by the concept of �work� when I was little: I just couldn�t figure out why people got paid at all (wasn�t money something you got from you parents?).

The only explanation I came up with was that you had to pay someone if they were to give you a job, and that a good job had to be more expensive than a bad one...

I used to believe…

When i was a child my Grandfather had me convinced he was a girl before he was a boy! And that if i didnt behave he would make me change into a little boy as well!