grown-ups

I used to believe…

My brother and I have convinced all of our kids at one point or another that (if they continue to be bad) we will ship them off to join their evil twins in Pago Pago who were SOOOOO BAD that we sent them off at birth.

My wife and I have also convinced our 2 year old that the monster will get her if she doesn't lie down and get her diaper changed! (not sure how she will turn out as an adult now but what the heck)

I used to believe that cousins had to be the same gender and age as you, to really be your cousin. This was because, coincidentally, our cousins were. (maybe our parents were competing??!!)I remember having a very heated argument with my friend when I was about 8, who told me her cousin, aged 3 was coming to stay. I told her her parents had lied about her being her cousin, and that she was just an imposter, probably not even related.

I used to believe…

As a young kid, I knew that a prince was the son of the king and queen. So I therefore deduced that Prince Philip must be the Queen's son. When I later learned that he was actually her husband, I then deduced that she'd married her son. I thought there was nothing stange about this, though - I guess the Oedipus story would've gone right over my head, in that case!

I use to believe that when you get married, you need the same colour hair. I believed this for quite awhile until I remembered a friend and his parent's had different colour hair.

I used to believe…

When I was a child, my parents and neighbors said to me, "You were picked up from under the bridge". Because my face doesn't look like my parents. But my sisters and my brothers look like my parents. So I was sad and I cried.
I knew when I grew up that. The bridge means my mother's legs. They were just joking with me.

I used to believe…

My mother used to tell me that I was adopted from a band of gypsies. Where she came up with this or why I believed this for the first 12 years of my life I'll never know. But I can remember telling all my friends at school and loving it.

I grew up in NY. I remember overhearing my mother saying she and my Dad got married in Dobbs Ferry{MD}. I therafter would tell my friends my parents were married on a ferry boat! Sounded pretty exciting to me! It was several years later that I realized they had eloped and drove to Dobbs Ferry, Maryland to be married by a justice of the peace. Back then Maryland didn't require a blood test so lot's of applicants would flock there for quickie marriages.

I used to believe…

at 3 , I used to believe that you could decide if you would rather be a mom , grandma , dad , uncle , aunt, etc. etc. and I always insisted on being a mom , my grandma just couldn't understand what I was trying to tell her.

I used to believe…

When I was about seven or eight, I was convinced that as soon as I hit a certain age, I would be indoctrinated into the "Secret Society of Adults." There I would get to choose my destiny and would be told the answers to all of life's mysteries: Who is God? What happens to dead people? How do you make babies? Why is my sister such a brat? I was really upset when I found out last year this wasn't true!

I used to believe that your age went up every year (1,2,3...) until you reached 18 and then you turned "adult" and all adults were then the same age. My Mum was quite upset when I said she was the same age as Grandma!

I was about 8 years old when I first hear the word prostitute. I asked my grandmother what it meant and she told me it when when a woman "sold her body." I thought this meant she would cut off parts of her body and sell them to men. I couldn't figure out what she would have left to sell after she sold her breasts. It didn't seem like a job with my longevity.

I used to believe…

When i was younger my grandfather was my world and i beleived he was always right. I was at the age where i was learning colours and my papa told me that black was white and white was black. My mom tried to correct me but being the tender age of three i believe that noone with gray hair could lie. Till this day i still think i mix them up sometimes

I used to believe…

When I was very young, probably 3 or 4, somebody asked me for the first time what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember the glorious feeling of my sudden realization that life was not as limiting as I'd already begun to believe, and with a big smile, I answered "a lion!"

I used to believe…

In 5th grade everyone had to write in the yearbook what they wanted to do when they were older. I used to watch a lot of detective/prison type action movies, so in 5th grade it was my dream to grow up to forge checks for a living. However, being 10, I did not only know what this profession would be called, but I did not know how to spell it. My 5th grade yearbook now has me forever clocked as being a "forager." Apparently all the adults thought it was so funny no one bothered to inform me of my berry-picking future.

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 I was convinced that as you got older you got taller, cos everyone I knew who was older than me got taller. Consequently I believed you just kept growing and growing throughout life. In hindsight, my grandfather should have been 10 feet tall.

I used to believe…

I was about 6ish, sitting in (Catholic) church, listening to an Old Testament reading where I swore it implied that is was okay for a married couple to have one �affair,� but after that, no more. That�s not all � I then believed that an �affair� was when your parents argued amongst each other. Imagine my surprise on hearing what �affair� really meant and the Church's true feelings on this subject.

I used to believe…

when i was a youngester i thought that when we grew old, we'd turn into chimps or apes. the reason being was that when i was young i saw alot of old women with hairy chins

I had always heard about people getting "fired" on TV. I thought that when you were terminated from a job, someone actually set you on fire. I worried constantly that my mom would be set on fire. Of course, I now know that she was a perfectly good employee. :)