grown-ups

I used to think that in order to grow, your parents took you to the doctor and he cut off your feet, put in some more leg, then put your feet back on.

This scared me to bits. When I told my mom about this and other weird beliefs I had, she asked... "Why did you ask me about this? I would have set your mind at ease." Of course, I had never asked her! If I had, sure as shooting, she would have exclaimed, "Oh thank you for reminding me, I have to make an appointment for you!"

I used to believe (& generally still do) that people I met for the first time were the same age as me, regardless of whether they blatantly looked older or younger

i used to think my parents put small microphones in my clothes, so they could hear what mischief i was getting up to. i suppose you could call it a micro conspiracy theory

I used to believe…

My parents both wear eyeglasses. None of my wee pals did. So I thought all grownups (and only grownups) wear them. This illusion must have faded well before I got glasses at age 10.

I used to believe…

When my cousin Michael had misbehaved, my mother said that his mother would whip him. I thought this meant that she would put him in a bowl and use an eggbeater on him.

I used to believe…

When we were small children we had an aunt that was extremely overweight. At some point we came to the conclusion that you eat so much, you get fat and then you blow up and pop like a balloon. The aunt is still alive.

I used to believe…

When i was 4 i thought that all the grownups where robots

I used to believe…

When I was little, I asked my grandpa why old men were bald. He said it was because they had gotten so smart that all the knowledge in their heads pushed the hair out.

I used to believe…

When I was about four, I saw a very old hunched-over man with a cane walking down the sidewalk. I pondered this sight for awhile, and then realized" that he was so old, that his wrinkling and stooped posture were just the beginning of a process whereby he was slowly becoming a little baby once again. This made sense to me: little babies grew up, grew old, and in growing very old they became infants once again, and the cycle would continue. "Ahh," I thought, "I must have been an old man before."

I used to believe…

Someone once told me that everyone was related to everyone else, so I used to think that if enough royalty died, my father would be made king and I'd be a princess. Only I didn't want that to happen, because I knew that, whatever my relations to royalty, they were very, *very* distant.

i used to believe that in the wedding vows you were loathelly married, i couldn't figure out why to people who hated each other would wantto spend there lives together

I was so sure that the number of children in a family told you exactly how many times their parents had shared an intimate moment!

I used to believe…

when my mother and father used to take me to their office building, i would spend a lot of time staring out of the windows. i thought that inside of the other office buildings were huge indoor amusement parks that i would b able to visit if i behaved myself

I didn't know that when you got married on tv, that you weren't actually married. I always thought that the actors were confusing God terribly because how was he supposed to know that it was all pretend.

I used to believe…

As a kid I believed that "HONEYMOON" is the name of a country where married people go. I tried searching for a place named "HONEYMOON" in my atlas book and even though I could not find it I thought the place was so beautiful that it was kept a secret until you get married. I used to write "HONEMOON" under the letter "H" while playing (Name, Place, Animal, Thing.)I also believed that this place was famous because the "moon" must look more beautiful from there and the country was really prosperous because you could find "honey" in abundance over there.

I used to believe…

Since I had no sense of saving money or going to get a job before getting married so that you could afford to rent or buy a house to live in, I used to think that the moment you became an adult (spontaneously I guess) your mom would hand you a big stack of money and you would have to live off of that for the rest of your life. Yeah like that would happen!!