grown-ups

I used to believe…

I used to believe that I had two fathers. Actually I knew they were the same man, but it seemed to me that I had two in some sort of surreal way. The first father was the one who was around early morning. He had tousley hair, was unshaven and just didn�t look very good. Probably he coughed a lot and maybe he was a bit grumpy. There was nothing really wrong with him, it was just that I preferred the other one. Every morning he disappeared into the bathroom and after a while, kaapow!, the second father would appear. This one had slicked back hair, a smooth face, smelled good and seemed more friendly

I used to believe…

My father has a small scar on his forehead and when my brothers and I were young, he told us that during the war he looked out of his trench and was shot in the head with an arrow, which we believed for years, even though he was too young for WW2 and indians!!

I used to believe…

my mom's from norway (im in the us) and naturally i was so used to any accent she mightve had that i refused to believe she actually did have one when someone told me. only when i went off to boarding school and came home a few months later did i actually notice it for the first time, and stopped being pissed at my jerk friend who i thought was making stuff up.

I used to believe…

Used to believe i was going to grow up to be Prime Minister (Thatcher generation!) and make sure that Mars Bars would always cost ten pee. Never even liked Mars Bars.

I used to believe…

My brother firmly believed that our dad was Superman and that he kept his suit in a case under the bed. He searched for it many times but could never find it, 'because it was magic'. In retrospect, what a relief that he didn't find anything, I wouldn't like to think my dad was hiding tights under the bed....!

I used to believe…

When I was about 7 years of age, I attended my cousins wedding. After the wedding, at the reception, an announcement was made to 'toast' the bride and groom. Being a hungry kid, for hours afterwards and then for a further few years, I often wondered what happened to the plates of 'hot buttered toast' that I assumed accompanied the 'toasting' of the newly wed couple!!!!!

i used to believe that i was bought at the supermarket. my mum found me between the mayonaise and the frozen chickens. my family kept the receipt in case they wanted to return me.

I used to believe…

When I was little my Grandad told me stories of when he was in the Army and had to guard Buckingham Palace in his Bear skin. I believed him when he told me that he always took Liz her first cup of tea of the day and her morning paper. He always does this for my Grandma so I did not need to doubt him.

I used to believe…

My dad had a scar in his back; it was like a gun shot-wound. for years I thought that he'd got it saving the prime-minister from an assassin. Then a few years back my mum told me it was really from where he'd fallen back on a pair of scissors as a kid.

I used to believe…

When I was little, my greatest ambition was to be the Cheshire Cat when I grew up....I think now maybe that isn't going to happen!! Which is a shame, cuz I think I'd be great at it :P

I used to believe…

My Uncle's old school friend was Ringo Starr, everytime I was at my grans and the telephone rang he used to say it was "Ringo wanting to know if he was going out for a pint", only when I was older did I discover they went to different schools!!

I used to believe…

When I was seven I truly believed that when you grew up you could be whatever you wanted (Literally). As a result when asked that very question by my aunt, I told her that I wanted to be a lion!

I used to think that grown-ups turned into space alienks when I didn't look at them, then, when I looked again they'd all be "normal" & "human-like"...I tried catching a few out by pretending not to look, but they always WERE faster than me... ;-)

I used to believe…

Going to church as a child and hearing the vicar reading the banns of marriage for the first, second, and third time of asking, I used to believe that the vicar chose a man and a woman completely at random, and asked them three times if they would get married. If they refused, the vicar would give up and ask other people instead.

i used to believe confetti and graffiti were the same thing. I had pictures in my mind of couples leaving the church after getting married only to be sprayed in paint!

I used to believe…

When i was about 5 my mum used to say if i was bad she would send me to the "Jaggy Jerseys" where a man would come and collect you and take you to his house and make you wear a jaggy jersey forever and only feed you bread and water, whenever i annoyed her she would say remember the jaggy jersey man

I used to believe…

My Mum didn't work when my brother and I were little, and at age 5 I imagined that once she'd dropped us off at school in the mornings, she then went home to sit and watch telly all day. (As I probably would have done all day if I'd been allowed to.) I was really envious and couldn't wait to be big enough to be able to just play the whole day long and not have to go to school. Didn't realise that after school comes work and also did not even consider who tidied, shopped, cleaned and worked indoors to keep the house in order. I just thought that Mum only did anything at the weekends when we were there to see her doing it. Sorry, Mum.