grown-ups

I used to believe…

My dad told me that he won a boyscout award/trophy in knot tying. His winning knot? The braid. My dad told me he invented braiding and got a trophy for it! I actually went to school and bragged on my Daddy.

The facade all came crashing down around me when, in the middle of my show and/or tell speech, the teacher asked in front of everyone....."So did your dad teach the Indians how to braid their hair?"

And they say children can be cruel.

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid, I was thoroughly convinced that grown-ups had to face an obligatory odeal. Adult men had to join compulsory military service, and adult women had to give birth.

I was buttering some bread at my grandmother's once, and she told me "We'll all come your restaurant when you grow up. You butter that bread so nicely". I spent several weeks worrying about my future in the catering business, as I had intended to be an astronaut (I was about 7 at the time).

I used to believe…

my brother once told me that i was adopted as a baby, i believed him for several years, and even now i still question things ;) just ive never bothered to get dna checks.

I used to believe…

my dad used to do electrician work for people at their houses. i went along with him several times, and the kids on the street used to come upto him because he wore a uniform. he used to tell them that there was a monkey inside the van. i knew there wasnt, but all the kids did.

I used to believe that when you were 12, you automatically changed sex

I used to believe…

When I was younger I used to believe that because my fathers birhtday fell on St Patricks Day (March 17th),and because he was actually called Patrick... That every single St Patricks parade in the world was held because he was so important that everybody wanted to celebrate!! What a silly girl I was!!!

I used to believe…

My mother used to spit at us before any major childhood event for good luck. Off we would trot to sports day and mum would launch a big greeny at our backs. Neighbours would stare and friends would laugh but the worst humiliation came when she would drop us off at school then launch one through the open window of the car. Even now at the tender age of 38 when I visit home to play golf with my dad and brothers she tends to gob at us from the doorstep. She does claim this to be a Danish custom but that doesn't fool me anymore. I was gullible enough to beleive the funny sounding Danish words she would use if she stubbed her toe, did translate into "Oh Damn" but not any more. Wash your mouth out with soap mum!

I remember being hugely confused about what people actually did at work. I thought it was like school where you did what you were told. ("Get out your typewriters now, secretaries") I imagined my mum sitting at a desk, totally clueless, until her boss came along and told her what to do next. I didn't understand what she did when he wasn't there, and when he went on holiday I thought she sat there and did nothing.

If only.

I still don't seem to have a good grip on being proactive.

I used to think that lollymen ladies actually gave out lollypops.

I remember being disappointed, having crossed the road sucessfully and not recieved confectionery.

I used to believe…

When I was 4 years old, I thought that every family had to have two children - no more, no less - and that there had to be one boy and one girl. And the older child was always the boy.

Then one day in nursery school a friend of mine started talking about his brother. I was astonished! I said to him, "You can't have a brother - you're a boy!"

I told my parents, and they explained that there can be any combination of boys and girls in a family.

I used to believe…

We moved abroad when I was five, and the budgie went to the vet to be looked after whilst we were gone. It was only about ten years later that I realised Diggle hadn't actually lived out his final few months/years in luxury at the vet's house.

I used to believe…

When I was a young, only child, and jealous that all my friends had brothers and sisters, my mum told me I did have a brother, but he was a monkey in a zoo.

I believed this until I was about 7!

I used to go to work overnight on a bus (I don't know why I just did - ok) but everytime someone asked my son what Dad did he said I was a bus driver. I eventually had to create a book on what dad really did (which was managing agas plant).

I used to believe…

My mom would use the phrases, "For the love of Pete" or "For Pete's sake" when she got frustrated (instead of using God's name in vain...) She also happened to have an Uncle Pete, and I always thought she was referring to him when she said those things!

I used to believe…

When I was about 5, my father used to ride his bike to work. So my only connection with dad "going to work" was seeing him ride off on his bike in the morning. When my friends asked me what my father did for a living, I therefore told them, "he rides a bike!"