grown-ups

I used to believe…

As a child, I thought that when people got married after a while they had children.. but that it was pure luck! Some people had one, some had four or five and some none at all, and that they had no say in the matter at all! I remember when my mother and her friends talked of someone having yet another baby, and so soon after the first one, I would ask "but it's not her fault, what can she do about it" and my mother would give me a dirty look meaning "Keep quiet!" I never wondered where the babies actually came from or how they were born. It was just so clear.. you got married and then waited to see what you were given!

I used to believe…

When I was about 5, I was certain (for no particular reason) that someday my parents would abandon my brother and me during the night. Every night for quite some time I would wake up of my own accord, go down the hall, and peek into my parents' bedroom, and every night they would be there sound asleep. I would go back to bed and sleep soundly for the rest of the night.

Then one night I went and looked, and sure enough, they had done it. The bed was made and they were gone. Oddly, I wasn't afraid, because I had been expecting it. However, I had been told that if ever anything went wrong and my parents weren't around to help, I was to go to the neighbors' flat upstairs and ask them for help. So I did this, in my PJs (I was used to going up and down the stairs by myself) and told the lady that my parents had left us. But they hadn't. They were with her -- they had put us to bed and gone to the neighbor's for all of ten minutes for a drink.

Somehow finding them there left me permanently reassured, and I never "checked on them" again.

I used to believe…

My mother used to tell me that when she got too stressful she was going to "Mother Mother Land". I used to believe that she went to this place via her closet, and when I imagined it I thought of many mothers kneeling down along this long red carpet with a head mother at the throne.

I used to believe…

When I was young, my mom was preparing to go back to work after staying home with us for some time. Mom and dad talked a lot about "working in the field" or "getting back in the field". I thought that she would go out every day in her suit and briefcase, and talk to other business people among haystacks and corn rows.

I used to believe…

as a little girl of about 6 years old, i used to think that when i grew up i would change into a boy. the turn around age was about 18--i figured that god would want us to have a taste of both sides of the coin. the change hasn't happened yet (i am 25)--maybe i'm just a slow developer?

I used to believe…

My uncle has been bald for as long as I can remember. When I was about six, I asked my dad why my uncle was bald. My dad replied that one day when my uncle was on his motorbike, all his hair had just blown off. I thought that my dad was the fountain of all knowledge, and believed this story for several years. Many years later I told my dad how I'd believed his ridiculous story for a long time, and he was amazed that I had believed it at all. I was so convinced by the story, that I told all my friends at school that my uncle's hair had blown off while he was riding his motorbike.

I used to beleive that my dad had special TVset in his office to see how i behaved all day long. I sow this TVset, Now i know, it was just a monitor for old computer

I believed it when my parents said I could be whatever I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be either a bird or a fairy and was devastated when I was eventually informed that they weren't within the realm of possibilities.

I used to believe…

There was a legend in the neighborhood that if actors were in a wedding in a TV show, that meant that they really got married... unless they didn't kiss. A wedding doesn't count if you don't kiss, and it was alleged, quite falsely, that "you never see people in TV weddings kiss, so that it won't count."

I have to admit that I didn't actually believe this myself. There seemed to be something fishy about it. But I did think it might be exchanging rings that was what made it REALLY count...

I used to believe…

A few of my parents' cousins brought war brides back from Korea and Vietnam before I was born. When I was little, I used to tell people I was part Chinese because I had oriental aunts...so I MUST be part Chinese. I didn't even figure out they weren't Chinese until I was about 10.

I used to believe…

When I was bad, my mother used to threaten to sell me to the Gypsies. I didn't know really what Gypsies were, but somehow I mixed them up with Jewish people. I lived in an area that had a LOT of Jewish people and whenever Saturday came around and they were walking to temple, I used to hide so they wouldn't come and get me.

I used to believe…

When reading the captions on wedding pictures in local newspapers and it said, for example, "Jon Smith and Jane Jones, both from Avenue Road married at....." that they lived next door to each other. I was amazed by how many neighbours got married.

I used to believe…

my brother and sister (6 and 7 years older than I) convinced me at age 5 that I was an insta-baby. they said that mom had gone to Brookshires (a local grocery store) and gotten me out of the gumball machine. They went into great detail telling me how she put me in the bathtub and added water to make me. Then they told me that she had forgotten to add water to the insta-brain and it fell out. Needless to say, they told me that I would never know as much as them because I had no brain. Being the impressionable child I was, I used to say " It's not my fault! I don't have a brain! Carrie and Rick told me!"

I used to believe…

When I was very young, my Dad was in the Navy. Naturally I spent a good deal of time asking where my Daddy was. My mother put a big picture of him onthe coffee table, so I could see him all the time, and told me "This is your Daddy." When my dad finally returned from his cruise, and we met him at the docks, I refused to talk to him, saying only "This isn't MY daddy. MY daddy's at home, on the coffee table." I believe that the picture itself was my dad.

I used to believe…

My father used to tell me he had rubber legs. I was at least 10 at the time and knew it couldn't be true, but because I regarded him as an absolutely reliable fount of all knowledge, and because he stuck religiously to the story (and was completely deadpan), I was never quite sure!

I used to believe…

This started when a friend told me about Purgatory.
You know how there is "A match made in heaven" and sometimes "A match made in hell"?
Well, My next door neighbors were very boring, and I always used to call them "A match made in Purgatory"!