grown-ups

i used to believe that there was a difference between a 'lady' and a 'woman'. the difference being that ladies wore make-up and women didn't!! my mother never wore make-up and my best friends mom did sometimes so my friends mom was a lady and my mom was a woman :)

I used to believe that everyone only had Uncle Bills and Aunt Sues. My mother had a brother named Bill and a sister named Sue - and Sue happened to marry a man named Bill. My father had a sister named Sue as well. So I had two uncle Bills and two aunt Sues. When a friend told me he had an Uncle Pete (or some such non-Bill name,) I didn't believe him, because ALL uncles are "Uncle Bill."

I have only one cousin, who happens to be male. I thought, like dads, uncles, or brothers, cousins could only be male. I was probably 10 before I realized the truth!

I used to believe…

Our kids were convinced mom had eyes in the back of her head. We didn't realize how convinced until one day in the car they started to mess with her hair. They were looking for the eyes. Now that they have kids they know the real reason why mirors are installed in cars.

I used to believe that when I went to sleep at night, my parents hid in the hallway plotting to kill me. I trusted my stuffed cat to protect me and knew he had done his job every night when he was on the floor in the morning and had been in my arms at bedtime.

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid, I went with my mom to the paint store and was fascinated by all the different colors of paint samples, each with their own mysteriously descriptive name. I asked Mom where they got the names for all these colors, and she replied that it was somebody's job. I was elated to find my future profession! I would be a color-namer.
This would of course be the GREATEST job in the world, but as of yet I haven't found any available positions.

I used to believe…

Well, sometimes my mom would act a bit cranky every month for some reason, and it was usually my dad who was so cranky (this doesn't mean that he's bad father, please don't take it this way!) so I believed that sometimes my father and mother would trade bodies. So that my mother was actually my father, and that my father was actually my mother.

I thought that Doctors never got sick and that's why they could cure other people. My godfather was a Doctor and I always admired him for that ability. I grew up wanting to be a Doctor myself, which I eventually became ... and funny as it may seem, I treat sick patients every day, but I hardly ever get sick!

I used to believe…

My parents had this heart-shaped plastic picture frame. They never put their own picture in it, so it still had the picture of a little girl that came in it. They thought it was funny to tell me that little girl was their first daughter, Debbie, who they got rid of because she was bad.
Needless to say, I was very well-behaved.

I used to believe that a man actually married beer once. I wasn't sure how it could happen but I imagined a church ceremony and a bottle of beer with a little veil on it.

I used to believe…

When I asked my grandad what growing old meant, he replied it was like becoming an antique ... your chest sank into your drawers!

I used to believe…

As a youngster,i thought that growing up would be as easy as A B C,.And all that my vision of adult-hood would somehow be automaticley bestowed upon me!HOW WRONG,I must have mist a couple of very important lesson"s along the way!!

I used to believe…

My mother would tell my brother and I she had eyes in the back of her head so we should behave cause she would see everything. To test her we would do things at the kitchen table to see if she would know what we were doing. She ALWAYS knew what we were doing. Little did I know that she was looking in the reflection of the oven (which was just above eyes level) and could see us. I beleived she had invisible eyes in the back of her head.

I used to believe…

My little sister is 21 years younger than me. She believes that kids are not human. They are all *childrens*. They will be human when they grow up.

I used to believe…

Actually, my cousin:
I'm only 8 years younger than his mother so he calls me Aunt Stephanie. When his mother tried to explain that I was actually his cousin, he explained, very matter-of-factly, that that was just not possible, because I am old like her!

I used to believe…

When my mom needed to stop at a store, my dad would just let her go in and we would all wait in the car. My dad hated the fact that we were always really loud, so he told us that all the people walking around were actually bears in people costumes, and if we weren't totally quiet, the bears would come eat us. Of course while we are in the back covering our mouths, being dead silent...my dad was sleeping.