grown-ups

I used to believe…

When I was young I used to think my mom had a second pair of eyes in the back of her head. She would say "You better watch out I can see you with the eyes in the back of my head."

I used to believe…

When I was a kid I used to think that 16 was old. Why? Because grown ups didn't want to play the way I did and neither did 16 year olds. Grown ups were old, so it seemed like anyone who didn't want to play with toys and have fun was old. None of my 16 year old babysitters wanted to play with toys.

I used to believe…

When I was very young, my grandfather would sit me on his knee and he would let
me eat the wooden matches he'd burnt to smoke from his pipe. He had me totally
convinced that the burnt sulphur was good for you to the point that, I still freak
people out to this day by eating burnt wooden matches.

I used to believe…

once while on a train ride in Duluth, Minnesota, my dad pointed out these little trails that were cut through the woods. He then told me the towns people put those there so the mooses could follow them so that their antlers wouldn't get stuck in the tree branches!

I used to believe…

When I was a little kid, probably 3 or 4, I would never go to my older sister, Julie, when she wanted me to (she's 9 yrs. older than me). Subsequently SHE came up with the brilliant idea of hiding in our closet and calling me into our room. When I innocently entered the bedroom, she'd throw the A&W bear (of whom I had an irrational fear) at me. Then when I started screaming & crying, & jumping up & down, she'd run over, grab me & say, "Come to DooDoo!!! I'll protect you!!!" To this day, I still can't go to sleep if the closet doors or bureau drawers aren't shut all the way.

Oh, the power an older sibling has to warp a poor child's mind...

I used to believe…

Up until this very moment, my brother has told me that I was adopted from the jungles of Africa. He would tell me that my Dad saw me floating on a leaf, and that one day, I would have to go back to my real parents. As a kid, I used to freak out everytime he brought it up. Even today, he still teases me.

I used to belive that the girls don't necessarily grow up into women also boys don't necessarily grow up into men, and I was wondring if I would be a man or woman.

I used to believe…

When I was about 11 or 12, kids at school started talking about "going out" with each other (as a term for dating). I thought they meant literally going out, and I wondered where they would go in such a small town as ours.

I used to think that when people got fired from a job, they were put into fire. I was understandably upset when I overheard my mother tell someone that my brother in law had been fired.

I (And both of my sisters) married my father at age 6 in the corrider of our home and I found this acceptable..Oh good days of Oblivion

I used to believe…

my Dad has always worn aboriginal hats as he used to live in South Africa. Ever since i could remember my Daddy has worn them so whenever it blew off in the wind or he dropped it, a part of him would disappear so i would chase it until I got it back.

I always thought it was a big part of him and me alone as i would always find Daddy by the hat he wore...and I still do.

I used to believe…

When I was about 4 years old my mother would tell me that my father was actually Peter Pan in disguise. One day, when my dad was leaving for work, she told me he was going to Never Neverland. I completely freaked out thinking that he was going without me and that he would never come back. I figured, why would he...it's too fun there!

I used to believe…

When i was younger my family and i would often go to the movies. I was always facinated about the curtain walls and my parents told me that behind the curtains was a magical land. When you watched the movie the curtains lifted and you were in that land. Each cinemar had a different land behind the curtains. Even now if im sitting in the cinemar near the curtains i always have to look behind them to reasure myself its just a wall!

I used to believe…

When my sisters and i were young we uses to watch "daniel Boon" on television,and at the very beginning of the show Daniel boon threw a hatchet at a tree and split it right down the middle,-- well our Dad told us he taught dainel boon how to do that- for years we believed that, we had no reason not to,we thought our dad was our hero-- well now we know how much he used to drink and came up with those stories-- ah, i still think he's my hero......

I used to believe…

My mother used to refer to one's bowel movements as "business"; e.g. "Hurry up on the toilet, I've got to do some business." Therefore, I drew the natural conclusion that when my uncle "went to Hong Kong on business" that he actually slid there on a turd.

Nice.

I wanted to be a fireman when I was around the age of... 5 or 6, I guess. My 2 years younger sister objected; Then I couldn't be the uncle of her children!