grown-ups

I used to believe…

When my stepson was 5 he said he wanted to be a prawn cracker when he grew up. Puzzled, I asked him to explain - he said "you know - those boys who walk around town carrying radios playing loud music". I eventually worked out he meant "punk rocker"!

I used to believe…

My daughter thought I was a janitor at the university. It wasn't until she was an adult that she figured out I had my degree. After all, what else would a freshman do but "freshen up." The worst of it was she thought I specialized in the bathrooms because I was constantly freshening up the bathroom at home.

I thought that in a Gay relationship there had to be a man playin the part of a women.
So I always asked if I heard that someone was gay: "Who is the women in the releatin ship"

I used to believe…

There were twins in my class at school, and I thought that one day my younger sister would be the same age as me and look exactly like me, and people would think we were twins.

I used to believe that the number of people in your family dictate how many fingers you had. Since there were five of us, I rationalized that's why I had five fingers.

I used to believe…

When I was very young, I wanted to be a doctor. That was until I had to wee-wee in a cup. I didn't realize they did lab tests with the urine. I thought the doctor had to drink the wee-wee. I thought right then and there, "No way do I want to be a doctor now."

I used to believe…

My mother was raised in an orphanage, and my father had parents, so I thought all mothers came from orphanages. I was around ten when a friend told me about her mother being a little girl and NOT in an orphanage.

I used to believe…

My son and I were in a friend's bridal party when he was a few months shy of his third birthday - his job was to walk the flower girl, Nicole, down the aisle. About six months later, we were watching a movie when a wedding scene came on - he pointed to the TV and said, "Look Mommy! That looks just like when I married Nicole!".

I used to believe…

My sister (again) when she was 5 thought that the man had to be fat and the woman skinny when they got married. This was because all the wed couples she had seen fitted this category. So when she saw one couple were the reverse was true (woman fat, man skinny) she thought that the mariiage would probably fail.

And when I wrote this, she corrected "fat is spelled 'phat'". Oh my, the gangsta generation.

I used to believe that since my grandma on my dad's side and my grandpa on my mom's side were boh widows that they would marry. They were from the same town, they were both our grandparents, why not, right? Funny thing is that my sisters had the same thoughts as well. Never happened, though. I think they took wedding vows a bit more seriously back then.

I used to believe…

My mother use to say to my sister & I when we were in elementary school that if we consistently disobeyed her or gave her a hard time, she would call "Mr. Jones" to have us sent to his "farm" for bad children.

I used to believe that, when explaining a realisation I had to my elders, by stating that "a friend said" or that "I had read somewhere"... what I was saying would be believed (and yes I was telling the truth and it was usually correct as well). See I was brought up in a family that told me I didn't know anything because I was young. Even to this day I find myself having "genious moments" of realisation and discussing them with my boyfriend,telling him that somone at work had said... Never taking credit for the things I had figured out, even when it is fact.

I used to believe that my parents weren't my real parents, but were instead imposters wearing masks. Therefore, every once in a while I would try and catch them out pulling at their noses to try and remove the masks. They initially found this behaviour cute, but after a while my dad got really annoyed about it and would yell at me whenever I did it.... thus re-enforcing my belief.

I used to believe…

As a child, I was told that every fourth human being was a chineese. As i was the fourth of four sisters, I was convinced that i was chineese...

I used to believe…

My brother is fiftteen years older than me. When I was litlle he told me he knows everything - and I believed him.

I used to believe…

A neighbor down the street has his car repossessed. We told my younger brother that mom and dad had not paid the doctor bills for his birth and they would soon be coming to reposes him.