grown-ups

I used to believe…

Sis and I used to dress up and play 'wedding ceremony' when we were little girls. My mother told us that one time, we came down the hall singing 'dun-dun-de-dun' and both (BOTH!) dressed up as the bride and each carrying a baby. When she asked us how in blurry heck we could already be carrying babies (let alone both of us being brides), I spoke up and told her I knew how to get a baby. Horrified, my mother asked, "How?" and I blurted right out that "You go to the hospital and lay down on the table and scream really good. If you scream good enough the doctor will go down the hall and bring you a baby."

I used to believe…

At the age of 5, I was chosed to be the flower girl for my Aunt Margaret. I was very concerned the night of the Wedding Rehearsal... when I heard the Pastor talk about "biting love".

I wanted to get my dear Aunt out of there, and away from that bad man that was telling her husband-to-be to bite her!!!

I thought that after my sister graduated from high school, she was going to have to move to Europe to continue her studies (like the girl in a story I once read) and I'd never see her again. I cried throughout her entire graduation ceremony. After the ceremony, I summoned up the courage to ask my sister what she was going to do after school was finished and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "I guess I'll work at the ice cream shop." I was stunned and relieved. (though 6 yrs later she moved to Africa to teach)

I used to believe…

Every holiday I was amazed at how long my parents could sit and talk to my uncles and aunts and older cousins. I was sure that once I got older that would somehow seem more fun than going out and doing something. But it still doesn't.

I used to believe that my best friend's dad was a secret agent for the CIA. He was actually an unemployed alcoholic.

I used to believe…

My father worked a second job at night at a company called "The Orange Storm Window Company". When I thought of my father at work, I thought that he was caught up in an "orange colored storm". I was very frightened that he had to go to that terrible place.

i used to be very afraid of growing up, because that would mean that my body would continue growing larger and larger to the point that i would be a freaky giant with no place to stay and no friends/family of "my size".

I used to think adults were happy all the time, except on soap operas. And that adults knew everything, like how to order an airline ticket, and that really awed me.

I used to believe…

once my dad told me that "if i didnt work hard, then i'd go on the dole" and for some reason i got it into my head that the dole was a big ship that came and took all the lazy people away "the good ship dole!"

I used to believe that 'estranged' meant 'to become strange' and always wondered why women became strange after leaving their husbands, because they always said "so-and-so and his estranged wife".

This lasted until my mid-teens, sadly.

i use to believe that the teenage years started at eleven, as in eleventeen. but then twelveteen just didn't sound right.

I used to believe that when you grew up, nothing scared you anymore.

I used to believe…

My dad worked in a remote area in Alaska, and every two weeks had to go there on a plane. When we dropped him off at the airport, my sister always thought he worked at the airport, no matter how many times I told her she was wrong.

I used to believe…

When I was young I wanted to be in the navy and so I asked my sister how I could get in the navy. She said that everyone in the nave ate cat food to stay strong. So she put some cat food in a little baggie and I ate several bags.

I used to believe…

Once when I was 2 my mom and dad were going to attend a wedding (and leave me and my sister with a babysitter.) I thought they were going to their OWN wedding, and for years and years after that I thought that was when they had gotten married.

I used to think that growing up and getting taller wasn't a gradual process. I thought I'd wake up one morning and be a couple feet taller. I remember thinking how hard it would be to go to the store to buy new clothes since all my others obviously wouldn't fit me anymore. I'd wonder why, when we went shopping, I'd never seen any kids older than me wandering around the aisles wrapped in bedsheets.