grown-ups

I used to believe that a prostitute was like a prosecutor.

I used to believe that women got pregnant randomly, and at different ages because they had to wait for the "right time".

I believed that my parents took a class on how to read their child's minds. My dad always seemed to know what I was thinking!

I remember that when I was little whenever I got in trouble my mom would tell me that she kept my reciept from the hospital and that she was going to return me for another baby if I didn't behave.

I used to believe…

When I was little I wanted to become a Vampire as an adult (this was way before Twilight) and thought this would be a normal "job" for adults. Since the blood-sucking was not my thing I figured out it would be the same to suck red jam out of donuts. I was really looking forward to becoming a vampire and eating donuts all the time :)

I used to believe…

when i was little, i didnt know there was such a thing as marriage. so for my mom to get a husband she was magically pregnant and gave birth to a fully grown man in a tux. i believed this until 4th grade.

I used to believe…

when I was a young kid I overheard my sister telling my Dad that she was fired. FIRED?!! Yikes! I envisioned her being tied to a stake and surrounded by fire while all her coworkers looked on. I was amazed that she didn't look all burned and thought she must have gotten the ropes off and ran really fast out of there.

I use to believe that " student driver "
Was a taxi driver that was a student , one day we were in a taxi when I asked the driver if he goes to my grade 1 class

I used to think you only grew on your birthday.

I used to think that when you were an adult you never slept because as you got older you got to stay up later and later, so i thought that eventually you just didn't sleep.

I used to believe…

My younger cousins all believed at around four that you could marry your cousin.I have had over six proposals from younger cousins...you learn to become very tactful

I used to believe…

As child when ever I did something I wasn't necesarily supposed to do, all i heard my parents say about it was "it's a phase...phase this and phase that...etc."

One day I over heard my parents and my aunt talking about one of their cousins, and how he was gay. So I asked "What's gay?" and they said "Oh nothing son, it's just a phase he's going through" after I found out what "gay" was I thought "Oh shit I have to go through a GAY phase too?!?!" Needless to say that up until I was 11 I used to believe that being gay was a phase we HAD to go through and I was NOT looking forward to that phase.

I used to believe…

My best friend in elementary school believed that when you grew up, you could become inanimate object. Up until middle school she was convinced that she was going to grow up to be a stop sign!

I used to believe…

When I was little my sister told me that parents had eyes on the back of their heads, so they knew every time we did something wrong. I look for those eyes for years and never found them. Some how i still believed her...

I got in trouble at school once for saying my great-grandma was born in the year 1. That's what everyone at home said, she even said it herself. The confusion was cleared up when she went to school with me and explained to the teacher that she *was* born in the year 1-- 1901.

I used to believe…

When I was about 6 I overheard my mother saying, 'wow, Judy chose a really nice boyfriend.' When I heard the word 'chose' I imagined a line of really handsome muscular men all waiting for me to choose one of them to be my boyfriend. I was so disappointed when I realized dating wasn't like I imagined.