grown-ups

I used to believe that when you grew up, everything would change really fast. I assumed when I became a teenager I would love putting on make-up and talking on the phone, and I would throw all my beloved toys away... I also thought that when you became an adult you would hate everything you ate as a kid (my mom hates cotton candy and marshmallows... her father hates jello!) and start to like all sorts of nasty foods. You'd become nothing like your childhood self and get boring.

I'm so glad I was wrong!

I remember a girl in my kindergarten class told me she wanted to be a waterfall when she grew up.

I remember watching Madonna's "Lucky Star" video and telling my mother, "When I grow up, I want to marry Madonna." As in marry her as a career. Some boys wanted to be fireman and I wanted to be Mr. Ciccone, which, I guess, still could be a plausible career choice.

I used to believe…

When i was little i my mom told me about how that if she was late too many times she would be fired. i was horrified at this statement and pictured the people at her work making my mom climb into a fireplace. needless to say, i never took too long in the morning to get ready again.

I used to believe…

On Halloween, we used to have family parties at my Grandparents house. My Grandad always used to have a murky fish tank out and would dip his hand in every now and then take out a 'goldfish' and eat it, while it was still alive and wriggling.. it was only years later i found out my Nana used to cut up thin pieces of fish-shaped carrott for him and put them in the bowl! It grossed me out for years!!!

I used to belive that when you have turned 18 firworks came out of your head to show that you where an adult. Then, you would suddenly shoot up (at 50 Mph) and that was your growning spurt.

I used to believe that being a "stripper" meant that you not only took all your clothes off but that you somehow took your skin off, imagine how shocked I was when people said strippers were hot!

I used to open umbrellas in the house all the time until my uncle told me that since i opened an umbrella inside when i turned 10 all my toes would fall off. So i believed it until i was 10 and my toes didn't fall off

I used to believe…

My brother is 8 years older than I am, so I was kinda young when he was going through his growth spurts. I remember being worried that he wouldn't stop growing, but instead would grow too big for the house.

I used to believe…

Sometimes, when my father was annoyed with me, he told me to "get off his case" about it. For a few years, I always responded "but dad, I'm not sitting on your briefcase!" (He had a briefcase that he took to work, and I thought it was the "case" that he was referring to!)

I used to believe that there were bear traps and possum traps in ladies purses, Even still to this day I refuse to go through my wifes purse

I used to believe…

My Dad loves doing impersonations, and one of his favourites is 'the chinese man'. My brother--who had the blondest hair and bluest eyes you've ever seen--was so convinved that our dad was Chinese that he told his first grade class so when they were discussing different nationalities. When the teacher told my parents about it as an example of how troublesome he was, they were in hysterics... but apparently the teacher wasn't impressed.

I used to believe…

One day, Mum caught my little sister playing with some of our Dad's things and exclaimed "If your father saw you doing that, he'd have kittens!" As soon as Dad (who's quite bug) got home that night, my sister ran to put her ear to his belly and, even years afterwards, was convinced that she could hear cats meowing and fighting in there!

I thought a mathematician was something like a magician, complete with a wizard getup of a robe, white beard, and pointy hat. (The "How Much is a Million" and such books didn't help.) I thought all they did was sit around calculating pi to places so far out that the calculators and computers didn't know them yet. Needless to say, it sounded like the most boring job on earth.

I used to believe…

My grandmother used to tell me that if I could kiss my elbow, I'd turn into a boy. My biggest concern was if I'd be able to turn back to a girl if I did it.

I'm pretty sure that the only reason for she told me this is so she could laugh at how stupid I looked trying to reach my elbow with my lips.

I thought "Alzheimers" was actually pronounced "Old timers" so I went around telling everyone my grandma didn't remember anything because she had old timers disease.